Your username has suddenly become your only means of staying alive. How bad is it?

I'm good until I run out, I guess.

Oh dear.

I dont like this game

Finally, my time to shine.

I have no idea why situation would cause smoking weed and having sex with sharks to be a matter of life and death but I'm incredibly curious to find out

Pretty sure my time would be up.

I planned for this exact scenario

The cure is worse than the disease.

I don't know what's in it, but its keeping me alive.

I have food and transport, I think I'll be ok.

Well considering I only learnt to drive automatic, it’s not looking good.

Pretty good I think!

Vanth is from Etruscan mythology, a female demon that escorts the dead through the underworld. Generally seen as a helpful guide rather than mean or frightening. So if I can mix mythologies for the sake of a colorful mental image, Hell-Uber across the river Styx, please tip your driver.

On the plus side, I probably don't need much income as a demon.

Guess Im poopin.

If knowledge is real and can be applied to anything, I guess I'll be alright

I would survive just fine as long as you follow my instructions. I can live on a diet of 90% hay with a small amount of species appropriate pellets and a salad every day. I am going to need a lot of room to play and shouldn't be confined to a small cage. At minimum I need an exercise pen as my home base with at least 6 hours so I can run around the house and binky. I should have a box to hide in because I'm easily frightened and I would live underground in the wild. I will do better if you keep my water in a bowl but by all means put it in a bottle if i prefer that. It's better for me to stay hydrated than to try to exist within some ideal that doesn't work for me.

And for the love of God it's a myth that I don't need medical care! I have a very sensitive digestive system and it's a critical emergency if I don't eat for more than a few hours or if my eating slows and my poops get small. So many people say their lagomorphlecture just died with no warning but if they knew what the warnings were and took them to get treatment they would be ok.

I should definitely be soayed or neutered regardless of your society's beliefs about that. Uterine and testicular cancer are very common and I'm unlikely to live past 6bor 7 years old if you don't get me fixed.

I am a very social creature and I should be kept with a bonded mate. If I lose my mate I will become depressed and need either a new lagomorphlecture to keep me company or a lot of your time to help me get through it. It can help me accept the loss if you show me the body of my mate so I can understand and accept that they are gone.

I will provide you with further instructions for my care later on.

I have meat at least

Well, I guess I will be up all day and night.

I guess something is better than nothing.

I'm in GREAT shape. :D

I'm used to it.

Staying "alive" shouldn't be a problem.

Well I won't have any problems with doctors I suppose

Can i manifest it as a super power?

Roll around in some kelp and then float away

I'm pretty happy.

I'm set for as long as breakfast is overburdened

Depends on where I live. I'm dead in the coming summer.

I'm really impressed at how well I'm staying alive...wow!

Not happy about this, but present

I cast spells

I can't think of anything more metal than subsisting on arsenic, lead, and belladonna mixtures.

Not too bad,

I didn't choose the chug life, the chug life choo-choo chose me!

(And it's got a picture of a train!)

I am the person who should have died at every turn, but somehow being the only one that lives to the end, I imagine.

or I die by licking a diseased corpse.

So, hard to tell if its good or bad.

Well, coffee is essential. It's just more on the nose now.

It's me or the other guy

Maybe I can try to convince people to put me in charge

At least I’ll be fed

Uhhhh...

Not nice

I'll survive for a little bit but I will almost certainly be the cause of my own death.

I'll be OK.

May very well go up in flames, is how bad.

Depends on which one it is, one of them is significantly more helpful than the other.

I'm in command but my crew had BETTER stay on my good side.

This is not how I expected to get a degree in arachnology

Welp, time to change my diet, as if they didn't have it rough already by being lonely. Sorry little dudes

I sell tea, as 418 is a teapot, so I'd say not so bad

Guess I'm setting fire to a lot of robots ¯(ツ)_/¯

I'm gonna have what plants crave.

It's bad.

I gotta eat pineapples

I think I'll be ok.

Will you have a cup of tea? Ah go on, there’s plenty in the pot. Go on, have a cup of tea, so. Go on! Go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on ….

Not so bad

I have to either rob or digitally pleasure someone named Cooper

Not bad at all.

Oh I'll be "Stayin' alive," alright.

Very bad. I'll I've got is a really gross bagel

I spelt mine wrong.

I guess I'm a black rabbit now. Could be worse.

Well, fuck

Brb, loading up on carbs.

It's bad for you. I'm a steal yo girl, and if you come near my taniwha hideout, I'm going to eat you.

... I'm so high right now. That's probably how this ends for me: humans bringing me some cannabis, getting me too high, and leading me somewhere out of the way.

It's my name, so I guess I'll do ok?

I'll be just fine.

You got a quarter?

Oh well, I'll die happy

I'm in luck! 😁

Uhhhh I suppose I like cereal

My username is a bird that steals fish. I'm not sure how I'm going to get on the good side of one, but I guess I'd better get used to either seafood or hunger

I mean there are a lot of doors that are our only means of staying alive in some way. Doors are very important.

I'm not sure about nutritional value, but it could be worse

I certainly wont be starving to death!

Suing beverage companies for having severed toes inside

could be worse

I'll be fine

As long as I don't run out of fuel and crash...

Sounds like I'll be doing psychedelics or phenethylamines possibly. Not a bad way to live.

Oranges and collared greens, I suppose. Could be worse.

Basically no change.

I'm going to pick my nose!

Seeing as you can't eat rocks I'd practically be dead.

Haha, I’ll still be around in millions of years.

With the US healthcare system? Expensive.

If you have one of those halo things your already kind of dead right?

I'd be just fine.

I'm just some random Lord now, which theoretically will come with resources so I should be okay

Guess I'd better whip out the scarves and space berets. I'll be just fiiine.

Maybe dying isn't so bad after all...

I guess that I'm now praying to a really shitty version of Satan, uh. Or perhaps selling really cheap lamps?

("Lvxferre" is just broken Latin for "Lucifer", or "light-bringer")

Well, I can hunt, I guess.

We musn't speak of him. He is legend.

People think I'm bullshitting all the time.

Link and Shulk, doing it 69 style, would have to be involved.

I will foolishly ride my dolly to safety like a wobbly skateboard. See you later losers!

Ganon with the Morph Ball upgrade would be U N S T O P P A B L E

Im okay with this, whole movies exist with this outcome, good times ahead

It's not just about me and my dream of doing nothing. It's about all of us. I don't know what happened to me at that hypnotherapist and, I don't know, maybe it was just shock and it's wearing off now, but when I saw that fat man keel over and die - Michael, we don't have a lot of time on this earth! We weren't meant to spend it this way. Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about about mission statements.

I came up with the spelling based on the word "pattern", and this was just a screwy way of spelling it ~30 some years ago and it's just what I've always used. I'd probably be screwed if I had to rely on it, other than finding patterns in nature can help animals stay alive, I guess? That's all I got.