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The Onion @midwest.social

Turmoil in Supreme Court as Palantir Makes $1.2 Billion Offer to Purchase Justice Thomas

The Onion @midwest.social

Trump Confirms “He Will Win” UFC Fight at White House, Confirms Pay per View

The Onion @midwest.social

China Lays Off 50,000 Intelligence Officers, Redirects “Much of the Money” to Republican Donations

The Onion @midwest.social

Secretary Hegseth and CNN Committed to Ending Rumors He Cannot Interview After Downing a Fifth of Vodka

The Onion @midwest.social

Trump Declares ‘Total Cease Fire’ a Test, Says We Passed

The Onion @midwest.social

Robert Kennedy and Trump to Lick Bat on June 1st to Mock LGBT, Covid Scientists

The Onion @midwest.social

Trump Confirms “Golden Dome” Actually “Golden Do Me”

TenForward: Where Every Vulcan Knows Your Name @lemmy.world

I Know You’ve Seen This Before

The Onion @midwest.social

White House Offers Correction After Karoline Leavitt Accidentally Answers Reporter’s Question Accurately

The Onion @midwest.social

Trump Team Heavily Lobbying for Jared Kushner as Next Pope

The Onion @midwest.social

As US Military Leadership Crumbles, Chinese Leaders “Kind of Curious” if They Could Take Nebraska

The Onion @midwest.social

Texas Republican Party ‘Near Civil War’ as State House Debates Gun-Based Abortions

The Onion @midwest.social

Trump Threatens 40% Tariffs on Ireland Unless Bono Wins ‘Amazing Race’ This Year

The Onion @midwest.social

New EU Resolution Decrees All Mentions of “Country With a Tiny Penis” Be Replaced with “Country With a Tiny Penis”

The Onion @midwest.social

Floridians “Worried” As Trump Asks Supreme Court for a Preemptive Ruling Whether He Can Nuke the State

The Onion @midwest.social

Journalists Demand More Synonyms for Stupid as Trump Administration Enters Third Month in Office

The Onion @midwest.social

Budget Concerns As IRS Layoffs Cause Americans to Remember Over 65 Million Additional Dependents

The Onion @midwest.social

LiteCoin Announces Smaller, Less Popular Efficiency Office to Capitalize on DOGE Success

The Onion @midwest.social

Entire Nation Unsure How to Act as Trump Frees Detained American Held in Russia

The Onion @midwest.social

Republican Leadership Concerned Its “Mountain Dew Baja Blast” Caucus May Divide Party on Greenland Name Change