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Turmoil in Supreme Court as Palantir Makes $1.2 Billion Offer to Purchase Justice Thomas
Trump Confirms “He Will Win” UFC Fight at White House, Confirms Pay per View
China Lays Off 50,000 Intelligence Officers, Redirects “Much of the Money” to Republican Donations
Secretary Hegseth and CNN Committed to Ending Rumors He Cannot Interview After Downing a Fifth of Vodka
Robert Kennedy and Trump to Lick Bat on June 1st to Mock LGBT, Covid Scientists
White House Offers Correction After Karoline Leavitt Accidentally Answers Reporter’s Question Accurately
As US Military Leadership Crumbles, Chinese Leaders “Kind of Curious” if They Could Take Nebraska
Texas Republican Party ‘Near Civil War’ as State House Debates Gun-Based Abortions
Trump Threatens 40% Tariffs on Ireland Unless Bono Wins ‘Amazing Race’ This Year
New EU Resolution Decrees All Mentions of “Country With a Tiny Penis” Be Replaced with “Country With a Tiny Penis”
Floridians “Worried” As Trump Asks Supreme Court for a Preemptive Ruling Whether He Can Nuke the State
Journalists Demand More Synonyms for Stupid as Trump Administration Enters Third Month in Office
Budget Concerns As IRS Layoffs Cause Americans to Remember Over 65 Million Additional Dependents
LiteCoin Announces Smaller, Less Popular Efficiency Office to Capitalize on DOGE Success