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the_dunk_tank @hexbear.net

pooh [she/her, love/loves] @hexbear.net

2y ago

totally normal post on reddit dot com

https://www.reddit.com/r/energydrinks/comments/18dd1tm/does_making_energy_drinks_into_popsicles_lower/

126 comments

Hexbear deserves being dunked on for not making posts like this
It's better than everybody talking about climate change making them want to die
- I’m pretty sure the mods would do something if we all started posting about shoving potentially unsafe objects in our asses.
  I’m not sure if that’s good or bad.
  
  America's most under-memed president
  GARFIELD
  died from boofing related medical malpractice
  
  the safety/danger of inserting an object into one's asshole depends sooooooooo very much on the recipient.
  how do the mods have the required information?
- Frankly sick of this website I’m moving back to Reddit
  
  And thus was the last post Melina ever made. Some say that you can still see glimpses of them from the far corners of Hexbear.
  
  :07:
- they arent?
  
  it is so funny you say that. because for some reason I imagined this vegan person I haven't seen in 10+ years as the guy in the story.
- Why not both?
  Shot and chaser.
this is the best reddit post in years, i cannot believe this has been classified as dunk tank material
- I am also confused. how does it meet any criteria?
Opening a caffeine capsule and putting the powder that was inside it on and underneath their tongue would've accomplished the exact same thing...
They just wanted to stick something up their arse. More power to them.
- sometimes we need to explore ourselves
  
  in the backyard
why is this in the dunk tank!?
- Commies don't appreciate cold hard science.
  
  I like my ass treats on this side of zero degrees, tyvm
  
  amazing comment
Wtf they deleted his boofing post and his account is suspended
This is posting excellence. Posting perfection. These are the posts that inspire us all.
Do better, Hexbear.
So, I froze a thinner than usual popsicle last night
Coward.
- but also how did he manage to do that
Someone give this man some amphetamines
- Amphetamine ass popsicles are an amazing idea
I don't know how to to the 1984 calendar emoji
- doesn't want us to know!!
Shoving an iced coffee up my butt and having an anime power-up transformation to become a commercial real estate broker.
This is a beautifully written post, worthy of r/drugscirclejerk
I can't dunk on this. This dude is fucking hero.
- How is he alive anyway? He should be getting caffeine poisoning
I'm gonna start every comment and post from now on with "hey guys, its limp dick calvin"
- new site headliner
Fella needed a broscience excuse to put something in his butt. We've had squat plugs for years, dawg
Silly as it is I can't fault the guy for doing science and reporting his results
unironically I see no good reason to make fun of this other than the danger caused by cold
- Caffeine OD is also worth mentioning as a possible danger. We shouldn’t encourage potential heart attack inducing behavior.
  
  This man has more monster than water in his blood. He probably couldn't OD if he wanted to. Unclear if he is simply addicted or like unconsciously self medicating for adhd but we stan
  
  Fair enough
- I mean, aside from safety concerns, how about this guy's belief that people who've been penetrated in the ass will just have a gaping hole that liquids will flow into? And not that enemas require apparatus.
  
  I mean I've boofed a lot of drugs, it's certainly possible to just pour a cup down your ass but far harder than just using an oral syringe
Mofo never heard of an enema.
They're calling reddit.com an "app" now?
This is truly a high quality post. Thank you for bringing it to my attention
Maybe he's onto something
Every time I see shit like this I first think it's a bit, then I remind myself that this is
. So there's a non zero chance that even if the op wrote it as a bit, someone saw the post and did it themselves. I mean, it's an energy drink subreddit! These posters have to be the sweatiest dude bros in existence.
Would I get similar results if I put a caffeine pill under my foreskin?
- If you crushed the pill up first, then yeah, it would take way longer and probably hurt a little tho
  
  hurt a lot. melting and then leaking into your urethra? That would burn first and yeast infection later.
Respect our troops
Limitless pill except there's one catch
- Good news, everyone! It's a suppository.
"Go shove an energy drink up your ass" just became my goto response to redditors.
- It's the only way to check if you're dealing with a real one or a poser.
- if you phrased more like "have you ever considered the potential benefits to optimization provided by boofing a solid-state energy drink?" you will get >1/3 hit
Somewhere around November of 2020, Reddit became 4chan, like the tipping point in South Park when the public pool became more piss than chlorinated water.
- it's somehow dumber than 4chan. I feel like there's something primal and exciting about 4chan, like it's a raw form of dipshit. reddit is still bound to ads and having AMAs and shit, so they're only as gross as they know they can get away with.
US drug policy be like "this is better for society than baking weed into a brownie
This is an absolute win lol
Homie just figured out how to go Saiyan
It would be more dignified to just do meth
- now I have to ask if you can boof meth
  
  oh sweetie
  https://duckduckgo.com/?q=meth+booty+bump
  
  Science has been asking whether or not we could, but what about whether or not we should?
We could only strive to one day post something this excellent here.
I can't wait to see the Whang video on this guy.
Having tasted energy drinks, I'd rather bottom it as well.
who among us
- amogus
The Winnie emoji was the final nail to the coffin for me while reading this aloud.
He did this in his backyard
"I'll probably be doing this a couple times a week now"
i'm gonna give this a shot actually
- accurate user name
  
  :bjork-debut:
WHY DID YOU GO OUTSIDE TO DO THIS!?
I don't want to be judgmental, but if you have a backyard it seems you also have a house for this very indoors activity!
- he has never so much as stuck a finger in his hole.
  he was worried he might accidentally press the explosive diarrhea button and make a mess on the carpet.
Based
they've successfully passed this turing test
Sometimes dudes rock real hard
Reddit has become 4chan.
- I mean, I guess it returned to its roots...
- Same class of soulless suburban nazi failchildren
A Reddit link was detected in your post. Here are links to the same location on Teddit and Libreddit, which are Reddit frontends that protect your privacy.
teddit.zaggy.nl
teddit.hostux.net
r.darklab.sh
reddit.smnz.de
- Eat my nuts
Will Binging with Babish cover this?
indigenous spirit journey praxis
That's the best flavor. Now I can never buy it again.
i mean
- 👀

126 comments