Oh, they got literally nothing on this guy
Oh, they got literally nothing on this guy
112 comments
-
-
I like how they just decided to throw Russia in there despite absolutely no connection
-
Why would Russia want to rid their enemy of parasites? Is China plotting to build mass transit? Are we going to uncover a Cuban plot to fix our democracy?
-
-
AI has determined the culprit is a statue of Jesus with abs and 14 fingers riding a school bus made of American flags
-
it's been 48 hours and not only have they not ID'd the guy, they've begun using tools that will actively make the search harder. he's probably already on a beach in vietnam, he's safe. fucking incredible
Death to America
-
He starts vlogging and bragging about doing it from Vietnam.
- and also giving tips on how to do the same to other CEOs
Death to America
-
-
-
Lmaooo “Russia did it” I fucken love these people
-
Are they trying to get people to like Russia? Lmao
Edit: USSR should've been sending shooters against shitty bosses or execs
-
That was a large part of activities of so-called urban guerrillas. Not sure how popular that was.
-
You clearly haven’t read the theory known as FX’s The Americans
-
-
If anything they would make sure this bozo and all the clowns destroying the shithole from inside keep doing what they're doing.
-
-
Liberal modus operandi is literally "When in doubt blame Russia"
-
They check under the bed for Russia, and when no one is there they insist the dust particles are displaced in such a way that it clearly shows a Russian agent was once there
-
-
Gotta slip in some quick russophobia there at the end for good measure lol
Is it really this easy to eliminate these blood sucking monsters?
-
I both hate and love that liberals don't think one of the largest countries on earth exists. Maybe he went to Communist Russia. A place that exists and is not made up my mashing together half rembered facts from old TV news.
Props to them for thinking beaing mean to a rich person is a strike against America itself and can only be down by a component government. Then assuming Russia is compotent enough to plan and execute this perfectly.
-
-
I know it wouldn't be smart or anything but i would be so happy to learn that he never even left town and just changed his clothes and went about his day
-
it's probably up for debate, but I legit think that is the move. NYC is stupid dense, way too much shit going on day to day. traveling is paper trails unless you're on a bus, and even then there's digital trails and timetables etc. it creates a grid with logic to work through for investigators.
instead, I would think disappearing into a CCTV-devoid place with a thousand exits with tons of traffic in and out, changing clothes, dumping equipment, and exiting back into your routine ass life... that seems like an investigative nightmare. dumpsters full of garbage getting hauled away. after that, you're just some guy with a head shaped like 10 million other guys.
-
I've never committed a crime with nearly this serious a punishment but just acting like you normally do is such a good strategy for not getting caught. Plus changing clothes and hair etc of course
-
This makes a lot of sense. After watching many (USian, of course) police car chases on TV over the years, including those "wildest police chases" specials (I know, I know), I only once saw someone get away - they pulled up to the entrance of a crowded indoor shopping mall and ran in. I also heard about another similar escape where they pulled into a giant parking structure, probably also crowded. Much better chance of disappearing in a crowd than isolated.
-
I read earlier he may have taken a bus/train up from ATL but didn't see that confirmed anywhere.
-
-
-
Someone's gonna go down for this and it ain't gonna be the guy that did it.
-
Me and my partner were just talking about this
The desire to appease the wealthy will lead to a poor investigation and probably ruin some poor guy's life
Doesn't help that every time they show pictures or video, everything looks color corrected to hell and back, nothing looks the same twice
-
The cyberpunk reality of AI turns out to be leagues more boring than every sci fi author thought
-
-
Whoever came up with the whole "blame literally anyone, but especially the Soviets/Russians" bit needs a prize. Its gotten literally over a century of use. Once you notice it, you see it fuckin' everywhere. It goes beyond any historical level of "foreigners bad" because it really is just used for literally anything. Advanced xenophobia I guess.
Maybe if libs broke out of it they could actually see results, but nope, RUSSIA, CHINA, CUBA! for any little thing, nope can't be anything else, can't be domestic, can't be our allies, can't even be random.
-
-
Advanced xenophobia
That's actually a degree at most universities, it's called "International Studies."
-
It goes all the way back to blaming Haiti for slave revolts. Americans are allergic to self-criticism.
-
-
AI generated picture of the suspect
-
Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?
-
-
-
Ok, they will not catch him and I know none of us are surprised, but is no one going to ask the NYPD why they already have an AI trained in phrenology? Guess at least they'll have fun looking for a man with the sinister slanted nose bridge of a cowardly Saxon wheelwright or whatever their AI comes up with after training itself by reading every work ever written about studying the bone structure of the human head.
-
They bought it from some startup called iPhrenology or some shit, backed by venture capitalist crypto Bros
-
The AI is still a bit buggy so people of Irish and Italian descent might get caught in the
filter.-
If they could have had a slightly more heroic jawline the police might have let them be. It's just the cost of feeling safe.
-
-
-
Very clearly an attempt to turn libs against them and what they did. The pigs have nothing and are scared.
-
Good read. The fact that they bring up AI means they don't have shit.
-
-
HOLY SHIT HE FUCKING GOT AWAY WITH IT!!!
-
Huh, it keeps flagging a bunch of chiseled fashion models and Instagram influencers as the assassin
-
It would be funny if they actually find Ernest Khalimov himself.
-
-
The ai made portrait of the culprit:
-
Shrimp jesus isn't real, he can't hurt you
-
Red Lobster really stepping up their marketing
-
-
“Moscow”
No creativity, their brains are mush
-
Fr I would start throwing in other cities just to keep the libs interested. Everyone's sick of talking about Moscow, Moscow wants this, an insidious Moscow plot that. You gotta give the people a new place to feel clever about skimming on wikipedia, like Prague or Ho Chi Minh City.
-
-
The police are gonna end up arresting some random guy who was born with weird hands aren't they?
-
People with shrimps for hands are probably sweating right now.
-
-
Brother AI has identified three possible suspects:
Jake Gyllenhall, The Joker and the protagonist from the Stalker.
-
How tf could he be on a flight to Moscow, aren't all direct flights to Russia still canceled because of nato's imperialist war
-
"the Russians did it" is the cherry on the cake. What a pathetic country.
-
Liberals are perpetually stuck in 1995? The president is a white boomer Democrat with a shitty smile, history has ended and Russia is simultaneously a gas station and the biggest threat to US democracy.
-
-
Moscow?? Lmao
-
What if the pig AI has the same accuracy as the UHC AI?
-
The accuracy of UHC AI combined with the accuracy of pigs
-
-
Lmao generative AI is gonna make up some random generic-looking dude. That's literally all it does, what it's programmed to do. Actual insanity that they're using this for the investigation.
-
That can explain the sexy smile
-
-
- they're gonna just pin this on a rando that looks similar huh
-
Not a rando at all!!
Either someone who wants expensive treatment that that insurance would need to cover or someone that has dirt on some cops.
-
-
I like to picture him on the beach in Havana sipping a Cuba Libre
Vaya Con Dios, mi amor.
-
"When the substitute rolls in the little TV on the cart and you know you just got away with not studying for that exam" energy
-
This guy is a solid candidate for the modern Robin Hood (or perhaps Ishikawa Goemon) so I sure hope he doesn’t get identified
-
Does that mean
these pictures are ai generated???!-
that second guy looks like Bombastine and it's fucking with me every time I see it
-
He’s gonna make me solve a royal maze
-
-
He's pretty hot imho
-
haha so like do you have a manifesto or...?
-
-
Didn't he had a white bag?
-
Genuinely looks like Jerma
-
-
Is Gasparino saying that he managed to get over to LaGuardia and get through security for an international flight in the space of about 30 minutes or that Putin sent a private getaway plane?
-
has anybody checked whether a lun-class ekranoplan has maybe taken off from NYC
-
That would be a power move for the history books.
-
-
-
They are using this to sell the AI surveillance grift and to make people reconsider their public safety. I think that is why they are so openly flexing the surveillance state: "See, this is what we can do, nobody can hide from us."
It's an oversell of course, but most people don't know that.
-
No people know. When this shit fails utterly it'll just cement that
-
Would be great if this is the thing that causes this AI bubble to collapse.
-
-
-
Watch AI constantly make the suspect black no matter what they try
-
The reddit boston bombing fiasco but this time it's a ML algorithm trained on reddit
-
Why do all the good things that happen in America get blamed on Russia?
-
-
-
'Cause I'm already gone
And I'm feelin' strong
I will sing this victory song
Woo-hoo-hoo, my, my, woo-hoo-hoo -
So what happens if he just gets plastic surgery and gets fat while hiding in the spider hole he probably made for himself somewhere in Yonkers?
-
At some point they’ll try to find him using blockchains and NFTs
-
:wiggum:
Suspect is hatless, repeat, hatless
-
This investigation brought to you by KitKat, and How to Train Your Dragon.
-
What if he was immediately arrested for something unrelated right after kinda andor style?
-
Lmao zero percent chance
-
Imagine if you were this dude just meeting your people for coffee in Queens or whatever while the entire political and law enforcement establishment was pouring over conspiracy theories and flight lists to Russia,
-
The AI: with 99% accuracy, we have determined that the shooter was a black guy from The Bronx and a Russian spy
112 comments
Probably freakin RUSSIA amirite?
Pretty hilarious to think that Putin, proud capitalist, friend of capitalists from his own country, would have a grievance with other capitalists especially a fucking health insurance CEO
It's like how libs have deluded themselves over Snowden. I wasn't even aware until somewhat recently, but some non zero amount of the insane pro-spying apparatus cranks have begun pretending Snowden running to Russia for asylum was anything other than a necessity for him to remain not in prison. Instead of analyzing for five seconds why the NSA feels the need to demand backdoors into everything and all the other insanity that Snowden confirmed, they're just screaming about "Weird he went to Russia!" Clearly he went to Russia because it's one of only a few nations that will harbor fugitives from the US state and has enough of a functioning state to actually protect the person to some degree. Not for altruistic reasons, but mostly just to stab their thumb in the eye of the west (a noble enough reason).
Anyway, bit of a tangent, but these "omg Russia/Putin!" libs are fucking insufferable. 99% of the shit they project onto Russia they'd be better served considering how the US is doing worse and to a larger magnitude. The country they live in and can, on paper, actually effect change in is where they should be focusing this anger and derangement. Be deranged at the democrats and republicans! Or CEOs!
Funny how the people we keep fucking with keep going to the few places that are safe from us, really makes u think
Yep, even Assange wound up in prison for 5 years after getting asylum from Ecuador
Да