Uh-huh

MrBeast: I don't really understand for-profit prisons.

Democratic advisor: They're good because I can make money off of them. You should arrest more people so I can make more money.

Republican advisor: They're good because I can make money off of them. You should arrest more people so I can make more money.

MrBeast: I understand the issue now. I'm going to make it illegal to not watch every new video that I upload.

For problems I’m ignorant in I’d have experts from the left and right advise me on them and try to find the middle ground that’s best for America

The right: Kill all trans people

The left: Don't kill any trans people

The middle ground: Kill half of the trans people

Le epic bacon Thanos doctrine
What I'm hearing is that the left should start demanding to double the population with exclusively trans people, effectively a -100% murder rate. Then the middle ground will be 0% and centrists can finally agree.
- Project Resurrect Every Trans Person from the Dead
Kill trans people... who are brown
especially since chuds have been laying into him lately on twitter on account of a close associate of his having come out as trans recently (or something like that, I only read that briefly)
so yeah, both sides, huh?

every single guy who thinks that politics is solved by listening to the left and the right and then coming up with a solution that integrates both viewpoints so everyone is happy actually thinks they are the ubermensch and has a terminal case of solipsism if they don't immediately go "no wait that's fucking stupid that's probably been tried before"

what a fucking novel solution. did you come up with that on your own. i bet you thought long and hard about that. i bet you did a lot of research to synthesize that
- the idea that no one has yet come up with in question:
The left wants healthcare, and the right wants genocide, lets meet in the middle and commit genocide without providing healthcare 👍
- basically Biden is a political genius

For problems I'm ignorant in I'd have experts from the left and the right advise me on them and try to find a middle ground that's best for America.

Didn't Obama try to do something like that in his first term? I think he called it his "Cabinet of Rivals" or some shit. It sucked.

Wouldn't be buyable

Aren't there interviews with this guy where he practically presents himself as a machine that shuts down when it isn't doing something profitable? Like aren't there quotes from him where he talks about struggling with motivation and purpose if it isn't tied to making money? He seems almost exclusively driven by money, so I'm not sure I buy that he's not buyable.

Didn't Obama try to do something like that in his first term? I think he called it his "Cabinet of Rivals" or some shit. It sucked.
It was a "team of rivals" and he snagged the idea from Lincoln lmao. I'm not smart enough to know for sure, but it probably sucked way back then, too
- Considering how Reconstruction went with it starting shortly after his death, I'm inclined to agree.
- Yes it's pure liberalism. The "team of rivals" only worked because Lincoln held them together and they (the rivals) had a mutual enemy in the confederacy. It's basically that centrist meme about planes with both wings on one side of the fuselage "YoU nEeD bOTh WiNgS tO fLy!" horseshit. Meme level analysis and solution. Shallow as some pithy Reagan retort.

Experts on the left: Climate scientists. Experts on the right: Some deranged person shouting about HAARP on YouTube.

What the fuck he's only in his early 20s?

im getting old and I aint even that old.

2016 was 8 years ago
- Kill me
my exact reaction, but also his math is wrong, you have to be 35 to be president and that's only 9 years for him, he's 26 apparently
still shocked me how young he is
- This has made me go down a rabbit hole, resulting in me reading the current date in a wikipedia article which has never happened to me before and was confusing at first, apparently this mfer hit 300 MILLION subscribers today
  what the fuck

Gladiator battles for insulin

I GIVE 10 000 DOLLARS IF YOU ENROLL IN THE MILITARY 🪖🎖️

he’s running
Mr Beast 2040, someone snag some domains for ransom

We should kill this guy with hammers, I'll tell you that right now

- im officially adding NL to the
  list

expert from the left and right

What fucking expert are on the right these days? All their ideological leaders are just random assholes who spout angry vibes.

Beastapartism

don't care about doing things just because my party says I should

You don't get to lead anything or make decisions without a mandate from people that believe you'll do what they want you to do.

Not right or left, President Beast stands for a third position

Unless he's red, costs 1 colorless and 2 red mana, and he has an ability that costs 2 colorless and a red and causes him to tap, but it makes an artifact token copy of a creature card in your graveyard for the turn before it's sacrificed, and he has 2 power and 3 toughness, then I don't want him or his third path.
- None of those words make sense in that order

Ideally there won't be a USA in 15 years.

Ideally this fuckwit is interred in the ashes.

"I'm solving the competition between left and right over voters by having left and right compete over me."

Purest borgor brain.

sold, to the highest bidder, gentleman with the top hat

Ah fuck I accidentally lathed this into existence. This one's on me, sorry everyone

https://hexbear.net/post/2810541

The experts on the right want genocide and bigotry, the experts on the left advice against it, we'll compromise and do a gay genocide (like with rainbow guns, not killing gay people (unless they are on the wrong side))

Macron be like

(Brace noise)

This coming from the guy who feels uneasy spending time with his girlfriend because it doesn't make his channel more profitable.

The revolution will get it's funding when the vanguard complete the obstacle course Mr. Beast built in his backyard! But watch out, those zanny bipartisans are on patrol to make sure you don't step out of party lines!

Oh shit, Mr Beast could actually become a major politician. He has no personality, will do whatever he thinks gives him attention, and will do anything for profit. He's practically president already.

Love having an endless list of celebrities to pick from for my president, very healthy democracy!

🥰

Mr Beast has achieved the Platonic level of political-philosophical development!

Only about another 2.5 millenia to go before he catches up. Look out world, here he comes.

Pathetic, spineless. Take a stand on something you coward

The left already has the legitimate political spectrum covered from utopians to pragmatists, more-collectivist vs. more-individualists, etc. We don't need "balance" from a right-wing that exists to be essentially orthogonal to this axis of "maybe we should do genocides sometimes" and "poor people need to exist perpetually".

They’re two wings to the same damn bird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We have the tackiest cyberpunk dystopia ever

Dude is super rich we all know who's side he's more likely to take, even if he doesn't realize his partiality

Good news: The empire's decline will reach terminal speed in 15 years

i remember when i was so young and stupid too.. but luckily there wasn't social media at that time