Fellas, is it gay to drink water?

Walking around, stabbing my pocketknife into nearby pipes to get water when I get thirsty

TIL carrying things is a feminine trait. Bad news for the moving industry

I hope she's as nice as possible when she breaks it to the entire military that carrying a pack and rifle is female tendencies
Bad news for EDC guys…

"Dad, I'm thirsty!"

"Not to worry, I've got my pocketknife! Now all we need is to find a cactus...Ooh, or one of those vines like in Predator"

men is it gay to take a thing from one location to another

only if you don't burn up gallons of cancer fluid to take take 5000 lbs of metal with you. Then, even picking up your kids from school and buying groceries can be a very manly heterosexual activity as long you do it in your shiny 8ft tall tronck.
- So true, even my dog gets self conscious if we walk in the neighborhood too much. I need to spend at least 5 dollars is gasoline to ensure I'm getting my dog hetero sexual exercise.
yes unless it’s wrapped in a bandanna, tied to a stick and slung over a shoulder

Hydration is very gay. Tell me you don't feel like immediately sucking on a big pocket rocket after a few sips of h2o.

Every gay guy I've ever known drinks water regularly, so yeah, it might be

Pocketknife

Airport

🤨

If you can bring water into an airport by drinking it, can you do that with knives?
- Yes, just drink liquid metal then use kegels to shape it into a blade upon excretion.
- Better bet is to just stick it in the bottom of your bag, not say anything and know there's a 95% chance they don't find it based on their own internal testing.
  That's how I've accidently flown with a knife the last two times I traveled.

Comrades I don't think we should all be taking the bait so hard

- Poe's Law been putting in an awful lot of overtime lately
counterpoint: the bait tastes good and even comes with this free sharp metal thingy

There is a certain type of person who is dedicated to determining which traits are feminine and which are masculine
Men are supposed to be angry, carry sharp objects, grunt and fart
Women are supposed to lie, eat hot chip and charge ~~their~~ they phone
- their
  *they

This guy in the 1800s showing up to the HMS Terror to go find the Northwest Passage armed only with a pocket knife and nothing else, trying to explain to the crew that carrying things is feminine and gay actually

Dude forgot the most important tradition of the Royal Navy.

The only things men should be carrying around are his wallet and a pocket knife.

Real men leave their houses unlocked, don't have a car, and don't even own a cell phone.

you joke but out here in Arkentennesse thats REAL shit men will say to sound macho lmao. also the pit bulls are quite better than locks
- Arkentennesse
  flyovria
  fly over it do a 360 and moonfly away
real men don’t even dong it anymore
- if ur not a woman and youre hangin dong, its gay.
  fellas, thats literally a mans dick permanently attached to your crotch? Come on, thats gay!

No car keys! Car keys make you gay!

Real men walk through the desert on a horse with no name

Men should be carrying around a wallet and a pocket knife.

Look at this aristocratic dandy. Paying for things and using tools. Did all his teeth fall out or something?

Staying hydrated while being blasted with dry recycled air and surrounded by thousands of people with unique bacteria and virus biomes: very feminine.

This is clearly reverse psychology meant to trick men into dying of dehydration.

Every gay person I know drinks water, so yeah seems preeeeeeeeeeeeeeetty gay.

imagine carrying a pocket knife around lmao

as someone who works in the trades, I'm almost always carrying a pocket utility knife, though I probably use the screwdriver part more than the knife part
- I get you there - multi-tools actually are useful, but I find the actual knife to be the least useful part of it, and i'm too much of a fat white-collar nerd to actually need one day to day
I carry a mini screwdriver set around, it's actually been useful a few times. No pocketknife though.
It can actually be pretty useful, tbh
- yeah, living rural or if I were into hiking, i could see the use.
  but being a suburbanite australian like 90% of people here, it just seems so alien to me to actually need to carry a knife

Yes, it is!

Fellas, is it gay to not die of thirst especially when at an airport?

ah yes, the airport. famously a place that is cool with concealed knives.

Explaining to the 15 TSA agents that are holding me down and performing a cavity search that I am 'not a gay', so I must carry multiple knives on my person
- new tagline just dropped

carrying shit is feminine

That's a new take.

It's been around for a while. Think of whenever a guy carries a satchel and there are endless jokes about how he has a purse. Think about a how companies sell "tactical diaper bags" for guys too insecure to carry about baby stuff for the child they're raising.
- I forgot about the manwipes thing until I saw them at the grocery store lmao
- Think about a how companies sell "tactical diaper bags" for guys too insecure to carry about baby stuff for the child they're raising.
  Funny you mention that. I saw a dude with a baby harness today at the grocery store and he seemed like a normal dad looking after his child. So cringe how guys try to insert faux manliness into shit like that.

The only thing men should carry is a 5 inch pocket knife, a Bad Motherfucker Wallet, a huge keychain with a bottle opener and multitool and unapproved Tritium illunimated vial, and a powerful metal flashlight, and a solid metal pen with a gimmick way of opening it, and a little notebook that says "Field Notes" on the cover, and the cover is the same color as the scales on the pocket knife. and a polymer frame Subcompact pistol, and $300 Seiko watch, and a zippo lighter, and a little metal fidget toy or lucid dreaming token, and a leatherman, and a small canvas pouch, and a Sony Xperia I V, and a super old, kind of shitty, really skinny pocket knife, and a titanium ridgewallet, and a Casio calculator watch.

You're gonna get pretty thirsty carrying all that around. Better bring a Camelback™️
A bottle opener? Fucking weak. Nothing more Fem-coded than using an actual bottle opener to open a bottle. Real men use a cigarette lighter or just the calluses on their hands.
- Real men use their bottom teeth to bend the cap open.
You forgot a set of professional lock picks and a set of sunglasses that have the mirrored parts so that you can see behind you without having to turn all the way around.

real men have wives that carry all their stuff for them like mules, and then make fun of their wives for having such large purses.

the worst are the wives/gf who say their partners changing the diapers/ playing with their kids gave them the ick.

Fuck, using the phrase, "gives me the ick" alone should be immediate
- its almost always a used on someone doing something gender nonconforming, at least online.

Wallets are extremely, wildly gay, the only option for the true alpha male is Burlap Sack of Coins

I dunno how if this trick works in other airports, but at Portland's airport you can fill your hydroflask with beer at the bars inside the terminal. PDX has anti price gouging rules too, so the business's can't sell things for more than $1 over their menu prices outside of the airport.

dude yall live in a utopia other than the housing crisis

Swallowing any liquids is effeminate. Men just go until they're hospitalized and need to be intravenously hydrated.

crushing ice cubes and snorting them is also an acceptable form of masculine hydration
- Only if you're quick. If you let them melt at all, that's woman shit.
boof your water like a real mans man
Real men gain water by ingesting salt and gaining hydration through osmosis.

It's called having a brutal hangover and yes the little sips keep me from vomiting.

"Is that a canteen on your waist, soldier? What kind of sissy carries water around in a reusable container?! Real men die of thirst while praying to our messiah, Ronald Reagan, and his super-white totally non-ethnic 2nd cousin, Jesus Christ."

They're putting the chemicals in the water that turn the frogs gay

Pretty gay, yeah. The only thing you're allowed to drink if you're straight is mountain dew. I don't make the rules, sorry.

Some items in my coach purse: Lipstick Floss picks Pliers Sewing kit Duct tape Hair tie Moisturizer Flashlight Power Bank Knife Pepper spray Wallet Pork (no idea how this ended up on the list... I'm keeping it and putting some pork in my purse now) Pen nail file Mini deodorant A gun sometimes

A quick glance at this list one might conclude that I am aggressively queer.

🐱

Water is fish cum. Are you doing to drink something that came out of fish dick?

well, i'd drink cum, so

if it's female to carry stuff why are males the ones with pockets in pants

Hydro homies in shambles

Main difference between "men's" pants and "women's" pants is the presence of pockets but if you actually put things in your pockets that's feminine.

No see putting it into a pocket counts as not carrying it anymore. It's not gay to have a water bottle but only if you have voluminous enough pants and pockets to contain one
- Wallet in one fist knife in the other

I carry a water bottle everywhere, and I'm queer.

So yes I can confirm that water bottles at least are quite gay.

"a knife less man is lifeless" - Grandpa

didn't have any saying about water bottles, he did drink water though, from the tap mostly

yes, which is why i carry a comedically large water bottle with me at all times

Lawyer up and get kidney stones bro

miss, this is a canteen and i’m clint eastwood

Well when it comes to utility I guess you are SOL while I have everything I need in my massive magical "feminine" man purse.

I can't stand stuff in my pockets. So annoying.

This is the text equivalent of those videos of people saying they're icked by people using seatbelts when they drive

If you're carrying a water bottle, how can you be unencumbered and ready for violence at a moment's notice?

if you get a nice sturdy metal flask it can double as a weapon tbf

in spanish meat is “la carne”

gay if you eat it fellas

One time i was hanging out with my friends and we stped by a convinience store. They were carring a type of vanilla soda that was manufactured locally at the time and had a very limited distrubtion. Seenig that i was happy and ordered one. my friends gave me surprised looks. So i asked them why, and aparently the drink was marketed to gay people. So i responded well i like it so what if its gey? I think thats the best response to these kind of asholes.

EYY guess I’m gay as fuck with my smartphone and steam deck

that's not what "the ick" is lol

but carrying a knife and wallet is gay? I'm confused

Yes

Lollll okay it's gotta be a dude with the "wallet and pocket knife" comment, come on, no fucking way