TIL "How do you dress?" means "Which pants leg do you put your penis down?"
How Do You Hang? | Which Side Do You Dress On? | 5 Theories For Men Dressing To The Left Or Right
So the tailor doesn't touch your penis when they're measuring you
No, they're not worried about joggling your junk. It's because you need something like an extra half inch in the seam on the side you dress on to leave a little extra room in your pants for your dick. Well-tailored pants are asymetrical. Not sure those of you who wear briefs need to worry about it.
This seems like a good place for a joke about hanging dong. Podcasts about how the distinguished gentleman may properly hang dong in tailored slacks, let's go with that
This is the right answer. It's so if you're wearing tightly tailored pants you have some dick space so you're not imprinting and showing it off to everyone.
I don't have the equipment to know if this is true or not, but it seems smart to ask the person you're fitting so that you don't accidentally grope them
Its true. This is a common tailoring question for men. Nothing to do with being fondled and everything to do with the pants fit. If you are getting measured like this for expensive pants your going to get nudged a bit anyways when they do the inseam measure.
I think you're telling me you're a woman. I want to point out that seeing a tailor is a non-sexual experience. I'm not sure I've ever been to one, not even a female tailor, who HASN'T made incidental contact with my genitals when checking fit, particularly in-seam. It's a far cry from being "groped". It's a bit like imagining a lingerie specialist worries about touching someone's boobs, or that a doctor gets worried about seeing someone naked.
Let me translate this old joke from Coluche....
It's the story of a guy who is constantly living with migraines. He goes to the doctor for the tenth time and says "doctor I can't take it anymore, these migraines are ruining my life!", so the doctor prescribes him some medication and says "listen, these are the last resorts.... If they don't work, there's really only one thing we can do, and it's to chop off your dick!", "chop off my dick?? I sure do hope these meds work!!". The guy returns home and starts taking the meds. But months past and the migraines persist. He can't take it anymore, so he goes back to the doctor and says "doctor, I've had it, I have no life, it will be better to live without a dick than not to live at all", "very well, let's get it done!". And so the doctor chops off his dick! Months past and the guy's migraines are completely gone. He's so happy, he finally can live a somewhat normal life. After months of success, he tells himself "I think I should celebrate! Let get ourselves a nice suit!". So he goes to the tailor, and the tailor asks him "sir, tell me, which way do you hang?", obviously the guy replies "oh you know, it is of no importance what so ever...", the tailor exclaims loudly "are you mad? It is of the upmost importance sir! If it hangs on the wrong side of the pants, you'll end up getting constant migraines!!"
Thanks for translating!
I've always heard the ending be something like:
Sir, you are a size 37
37? No, I'm a 36!
36!? Why if you wore size 36, your mangos would be so squished up you'd have constant migraines.
The average penis according to multiple studies is between 5.1" and 5.2" long erect. The average penis also grows up to five times in size when erect. I don't think the problem posed in this article is something the average man needs to worry about.
So the average penis is about 1" flaccid?! That's gotta be a global average. Not in my parts, I'll tell you that. Not in the local gym showers at least (my only source of data).
I think this includes countries which have a much smaller average.
Show-er problems.
It’s not supposed to just sit there like an acorn attached to the bottom of my torso?
preferably two acorns
Both legs at the same time, like any normal person
... like any normal Klingon
The double slack experiment
Around here tailors say, "which way do you hang" (or they used to, it's been a while) and it's because extra room is required in tailored pants. Generally junk at rest prefers one side to the other.
It was, "Which side do you dress to?" around here. Especially if i was a woman doing the measurements for the tailoring.
Why in god's name would you choose to put it down a leg‽ That shit will give you the worst rug burn imagineable if you happen to take your pants off too fast or fall in a split or just sit down on your pants in a weird way where they pull against you if you try to shift in the wrong way.
Wut. You put yours up so that it pokes out the top?
One of the perks of being a grower. Don’t have to worry about that.
Optimized for slapping it down on tables to assert dominance.
HR doesn't let me attend meetings with clients anymore...
Boxer briefs keep it nice and snug. Also the number of times I've twisted a fucking nut sleeping in boxers or naked... Ugh. Never again.
Ooh, an interrobang
... is this why some guys badly need to spread their legs while sitting?
It's always up and in a karate stance, good sir.
Please do touch my penis when measuring me
Well you won't let me measure it by looking at it.
I meant "Your left", so sorry
That article is terrible.
Magnetic penises??
I figured the author was just padding the article with jokes, but I agree, that one was out of left field
Huh, i felt that it was more out of a magnetic field
I don't understand the chart in this article about body type vs. underwear style. It doesn't relate to the question that it's located directly under, and it makes no attempt to explain why, for example, thin men shouldn't wear boxers.
I can't tell if this article is AI generated or just rushed out by someone trying to meet a quota.
I figured that a lot of it was just padding after answering the question of what "how do you dress" means
Interesting idea, because my boxer briefs support my balls in the middle, but my dress pants have one seam down the middle, so when I sit for prolonged periods I get a seam uncomfortably squishing my equipment. If instead the seam was always resting to one side or the other, I wouldn't have that problem. To fix this, we should either have underwear that better accommodates a middle seam, or my preference would be pants with a built in pouch similar to underwear. It would accentuate the "bulge", but we could get used to that.
You're thinking of codpieces.
Nice, that's what I'm talking about.
Like this:
There's a scene in a 90s comedy about that where the tailor asks which side he wears his pants on. The main character looked very confused until his friend explained it.
Pretty sure that was a Friend's episode with Joey and Chandler.
TIL I responded incorrectly to the command "Dress right: DRESS!" in formation.
For your sakes I hope half of you in the comments are joking
Did people just forget about boners like when that thing gets hard it goes up and if it's sheethed in a pant leg boy is that gonna hurt not to mention rug rash
Presumably if you're wearing tailored pants, you're not in a situation that's likely to result in 80s comedy style boner hijinks. And if you are, you have the foresight to take other wardrobe precautions.
Huh? This isn't about boners, it's about your walking around dick. It has to go down a pant leg
Why doesn't it get supported in your briefs?
... hurt not to mention rug rash
... circumcised?
Wut. You just let your boner stick out the top if your pants?
No when ever a boner happens it just goes slightly to the side and even if it doesn't there's still a shirt to get past
This feels like satire? A site called real men, real style with an article about penises?
This also seems like the kind of thing an ai hallucinated up, but so does the wording in a lot of academic textbooks.
The site it self isn't satire. They've got a YouTube channel w/ 3.5 million subs.
You know, I recognized that too, but what I really needed was for someone to tell me what "how do you dress" meant ¯(ツ)_/¯
I'm more curious which leg he puts it down in, in a fucking kilt.