What happened to "You're welcome!" as a response to "Thank You"? It's not even included in the canned answers on an apple watch. Have we as a society abandoned it?
I hear "No problem" far more often.
I see “no problem” as nicer. If I say that, I’m expressing that I really don’t mind, and there’s no need to thank me. No problem, as in I had no problem with doing this thing
“You’re welcome” feels more like “I appreciate you thanking me, because I went out of my way to do this”, if that makes any sense
Huh, to me, YW is much more gracious and positive that you're happy to do it, while NP is more like "it was a tolerable burden".
Though for paid service I don't like expected faux enthusiasm. I think "of course" is classy and not demeaning then, meaning "it's what I'm here for".
Except “no problem” traditionally means “no problem [despite this situation containing a likely problem]”.
It means the person being thanked has gone outside their set of responsibilities to help you.
Like “Thanks for letting us borrow your spare tire so we could get our car back to town” -> “no problem”.
Here the other person had no responsibility to help with the others’ flat tire, much less lend out a piece of their own safety equipment.
“You’re welcome” is the one which means “It is perfectly expected in our current roles that I would have provided this”.
Here's a response I've seen about this around the net for a while now that feels right.
--
"Actually, the “you’re welcome/no problem” issue is simply a linguistics misunderstanding. Older ppl tend to say “you’re welcome,” younger ppl tend to say “no problem.” This is because for older people the act of helping or assisting someone is seen as a task that is not expected of them, but is them doing extra, so it’s them saying, ‘I accept your thanks because I know I deserve it.”
“No problem, however, is used because younger people feel not only that helping or assisting someone is a given and expected but also that it should be stressed that your need for help was no burden to them (even if it was).”
“Basically, older people think help is a gift you give, younger people think help is a requirement.”
That’s some stereotyping ageist bullshit.
To be fair, with no data to back it up, this is just an anecdote. So saying it's stereotyping ageist bullshit is a perfectly valid response to it. I just felt it fit the question quite well so I went and dug it up and shared it. If you feel differently, no stress!
The reality is going to be different to everyone, and it's as much a learned behaviour as anything else. It's not like collectively an entire generation got together and decided "it's 'no problem' now instead of 'you're welcome', okay?" Language evolves over time after all, and knowing why that happens and the actual causes for it are something that will require a lot more analysis than a couple of anecdotes from the internet.
As a not-so-young-anymore young person, I've always said "no problem" for exactly this reason
More of an observation on a generational shift. A culture change with a language change coming with it.
calling it a "linguistics misunderstanding" makes it seem more scientific than it probably is. I'd like to see some evidence to back it up, because to me it just looks like some Tumblr user's conjecture.
and yet the youngers are the "entitled generation"
you can say "you're welcome", its no problem
you can also say "no problem"
hope this helps, you're welcome
Languages change over time. As long as the intent is clear, don't get hung up on what is and isn't "correct". "You're welcome" probably was seen as extreme at some point itself.
I mean, I'm fully on board with not getting hung up on what's "correct", but these are words that do have a specific meaning and I do find it interesting that the preferred choice of words shifts (even if it is only caused by relatively few people, that actually think about their word choice there).
Specifically, "no problem" is kind of like saying "there's nothing to thank me for". And ultimately, it kind of says "I don't expect something in return".
Whereas "you're welcome" acknowledges that yes, I did help you, you are right to thank me for that, and also kind of "I would appreciate you returning the favor".
My personal theory is that the change in language happens, because we have a lot more contacts with strangers, either in big/foreign cities or online.
When you help a stranger, you know upfront that they won't be able to return the favor, simply because you won't stay in contact. So, not only should it definitely not be a personal sacrifice for you to help them, it also feels right to communicate that they don't owe you anything, so that they can go on in their life.
I kind of disagree with you, in that when I think about the standalone meanings of the words in each phrase, I think they do say the same thing.
The meaning of the words "You are welcome [to the help I gave you]" implies, to me, that there wasn't actually anything to offer thanks over. You're acknowledging their thanks, but telling them that they are welcome to take/use whatever it is you're talking about. [EDIT: normally when someone tells me I'm welcome to something, I feel less compelled to ask and thank in the future. "You're welcome to anything in the fridge", for example.]
It does not imply, to me, that I would appreciate them returning the favour. That might be implied meaning in the phrase, but it's definitely not what those words mean by themselves.
In any case, "You're welcome", "no problem", "no worries", etc... are all idioms that mean something different than what their individual words mean. The phrases as a whole carry a different meaning than the words themselves suggest.
Wow -- I think you're right this makes a lot of sense
No “You’re welcome” means “You deserved that thing already”.
That’s why the Spanish equivalent is “de nada”. It means “You’re thanking me for something that was already yours”
Giving permission by saying yes to a "would you mind" question is the hill I die on. Usually I say "I would not mind" but if I'm feeling frisky I'll say no and watch their brain melt.
Languages change, aye
English, only for the worse
I saw a post a while back that said millennials use "no problem" instead of "you're welcome" because no problem signifies the act was of little effort and was no problem to do. However, "you're welcome" implies entitlement, as in you are welcomed to my time and effort, or some shit. I don't remember, but yeah, just a "generational thing."
So yeah it's a "can I speak to your manager" boomer thing, as usual. Only group I ever see getting their panties in a wad over a phrase. Just like "Merry Christmas" changing to "Happy Holidays" erases their religion or dares to put other similar holidays, in the same approximate time of the year on equal footing, making their religious holiday less significant.
The appropriate response is that the debt must be repaid in kind, within the fortnight, lest their house fall into disrepute
Or, simply: noblesse oblige.
Actually, this might be the absolutely most obnoxious possibly response, especially in English. I’ve heard it used unironically in French, and I think I recall hearing it used sardonically in English. Anyone else?
The only time I say those words, Noblesse Oblige, is when I joined a clan of the same name in Kingdom of Loathing. I was still confused then and we just called it NO.
"You're welcome" was always taught to me as the proper thing, but sounds slightly stilted. They express the same sentiment, roughly, but "[it was] no problem" is arguably clearer about it. I personally just think it's a slightly "nicer" nuance.
Of course, sometimes maybe it actually was a problem, and then I'd only say it if going out of my way to be nice about it.
Yes, to me, the nuance is what's important here.
"You're welcome" implies you did something good, and you know it. "I am good for doing this for you. You owe me!"
Whereas "no problem" implies it didn't cause you any trouble. "Doing this for you was not detrimental to my life. You owe me nothing."
I agree with this hit somehow some older people see it flip-flopped
I really don't think your welcome is meant to mean you owe me.
You owe me
So by saying you are welcome to their action, people are actually saying the opposite? That you are not welcome to it at all? You're saying it's ironic?
Reminds me a lot of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Qh_P0_9jsc
“You’re welcome” means exactly the opposite of “You owe me”
I always go with 'No worries' or 'All good', because 'You're welcome' feels too formal for everyday conversations, plus as another comment mentioned it's a generational thing as well
See it's not that "You're Welcome" is too formal, I just can't say it without almost breaking out into this.... Now it just almost sounds sarcastic
And sometimes I just can't help myself and I ad lib all the lyrics to whatever situation I am in. That movie completely ruined it for me.
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yer welks, guv'nor
"You're welcome" is too much of a commitment for me. What if I don't want to help next time but already told the other party they were welcome to my help? Formally revoking that welcome sounds really awkward.
"No problem" is just more honest because it keeps the scope to the current episode. Unless it was a problem but I'm glossing over it to just end the episode, in which case it's still better than "you're welcome".
"Sure"
Disclaimer: These are just my dumb thoughts with zero scientific evidence. Consider the opinion accordingly.
I think it's tied to how overwhelmed everyone is at all times now. Part of it is often "thanks" is said while someone is beelining out the door, so you don't often have an opportunity to even say "you're welcome." Further, "no problem" is far more indicative of "actually, you didn't inconvenience me at all by getting my help" in a society where everyone is absolutely time-starved due to overwork/underpay. It's saying to the person saying "thank you" that "it's okay to have minorly inconvenienced me, it was worth doing anyway."
Because yes, I am more likely to say "no problem" at this point than "you're welcome" because most of the time I am dispensing technical information and advice that people usually have to pay to get. That's the other aspect of it too, we've normalized that you have to pay to get anything decent (service or product) and so people offering technical skills and advice outside of a payment plan is definitely viewed differently.
"You're welcome" is valid but just doesn't play well in a fast-paced society where everyone expects to have to pay through the nose for decent help and generally doesn't have the time to give out those kind of favors themselves.
in a society where everyone is absolutely time-starved due to overwork/underpay
“You’re welcome” can almost appear condescending or stuck up in those situations whereas “No problem” comes across as an attempt to be a little more genuine
I think to a lot of younger people, "You're Welcome" is the thing one older person insisted you say when you absolutely do not actually mean it. So younger people have found something else to say when they actually do mean it.
I read somewhere a few years ago that the decline of "you're welcome" is due to a shifting in definitions or whatever- "you're welcome" has come to mean "you are always welcome to my free labor" whereas "no problem" says something more like "I don't have an issue spending my time on you."
Hey do you guys know what “you’re welcome” is in Spanish? “De Nada” which means “of nothing”. Sounds almost like, “no problem”.
This phrase isn’t new, either. It’s been around for centuries, just like the first instances of “you’re welcome”.
Most languages respond something like "it's nothing", de nada. English is a little weird saying "welcome".
Well, in German we say "bitte" or "gern geschehen", which is close to the "welcome". Of course, people can and do also say "kein Problem". I guess in my experience it depends on how I feel about the task and the person I did it for.
Swedish says "varsågod" (literally something like "be so good"). Finnish developed social courtesies relatively late, and so translated the Swedish literally to "ole hyvä". Russian on the other hand uses пожалуйста (pozhaluysta). Don't know exactly where this last word came from, but nowadays it's used the same way as "please" as in "please, no thanks needed"
Can I please (pozhaluysta) have this cake?
Yes, here you go.
Thank you!
Please (pozhaluysta)
It's similar in Polish where you're welcome (proszę bardzo) literally translates to "please very much".
It varies regionally. While "you're welcome" is not at all unusual in the UK, it's nowhere near as expected and standard as it is in the US.
I often hear "not at all" as a response, just like "de nada". It's also common in the UK not to respond at all, as the thanks are expected.
Thai/Lao is ไม่เป็นไร/ບໍ່ເປັນຫຍັງ translated as (implied subject “it”) + negation marker + copula + anything or “it’s nothing”
i usually hit 'em with the classic "of course" or "anytime" because you're welcome feels too formal for most situations
“You’re welcome” is a silly colonial affectation. In British English you just shut up and smile.
Stiff upper lip and all that.
I don't say it because you are, in fact, not welcome. I finish interactions with customers, even when they say thank you to me, by saying "thank you, have a nice day", as my non fireable version of "I'll thank you to kindly fuck off now."
thank you, come again.
Damn it must suck to hate your customers
You say, as if that sentiment isn’t nearly universal.
Interestingly, Tom Scott did a video about this a few years ago https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGnH0KAXhCw
Interesting and mercifully short, just the way I like my explanatory videos. Thanks for sharing it!
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It sounds more old fashioned every year. What does "your welcome" even mean. No problem makes more sense and feels more natural
Are you seriously asking?
If so, here the answer: It is usually used as a polite response when someone thanks you for doing something. It's a way to acknowledge their gratitude.
I still hear it a lot. Together with so many alternatives, like "no problem", " happy to help", "don't mention it", " glad to assist", "anytime", "it was nothing", "my pleasure", " sure thing"... and I'm sure there are more.
I think OP was asking what it means as in how it came to haventhe meaning you describe. "You are welcome" seems to be a completely arbitrary thing to say and out of context.
Other commenters here explained it's supposed to mean "you are welcome to my assistance" basically - which makes sense, but in the short form it makes little sense if you arenot familiar with the origins of the phrase (as I was until now)
Because the customer has become an entitled piece of shit and you don't tell an abuser "you're welcome."
"My pleasure" is another alternative. I helped you because it makes me feel good, so you're doing me the favor.
Obsequious in a business setting, but nice in a social situation.
I usually like to run away when someone says "thanks!"
I like a hearty "No, thank YOU!" and let the feedback loop begin.
Personally, I like to make an assessment of my feelings toward the favor done. If I feel put upon, I give an "mhmm" or "yup". My enthusiastic response is usually "no problem!"
"You're welcome" implies you can ask for favors anytime, day or night, and feels a bit too prostrate. I'll say it to some people, but it almost feels like an "I love you" type of response, and I reserve it for when I really mean it. I don't say the words "you're welcome" casually. I kind of say them like you would say something deeply truthful to someone
While we're at it, what's up with young people saying "bless you"? I kinda thought that one would have fallen off with people under 35
I feel the opposite actually. I say "no worries/problem" when I'm trying to communicate that the task was not a burden and that the person isn't bothering me if they ask again. I say "you're welcome" to acknowledge that I went out of my way to put effort in for them and that I appreciate their appreciation.
It's definitely more personal, like if I said thanks for a gift and they said no worries, it would feel a little transactional (for me).
If someone thanks me for my open source code, I'm going to say "you're welcome" because I've put many hours in primarily to improve their experience. If one of the more senior devs in my community asks me clarify something in my documentation and says thanks I'm going to say no worries because I would've done that anyway if I was aware of the issue. Honestly in that case I'm going to thank the dev for pointing me to the issue.
Yes it does actually imply that: you incurred no loss of status, nor debt, for this thing.
It’s for situations where the “favor” could be provided a thousand times without issue.
It’s for situations you totally don’t mind repeating, such as when you’ve provided a cup of coffee for a customer.
“No problem” is more appropriate for situations where it actually would be an imposition to repeat that favor. Like, your neighbor wakes you up in the middle of the night asking to use your hose to put out a little fire in his back yard.
“I’m so sorry to wake you. That was dumb of me. I should get my own hose …”
“No problem. I’m gonna go back to bed now”
I usually say "of course" or "absolutely" instead of "you're welcome" or "no problem."
You’re welcome to use language however you want, regardless of what the algorithm decides.
Language changes over time, and that's the new etiquette. Though No Problem tends to feel less compulsory to me and so I feel more genuine saying it. Enjoy the world as it changes, because it'll change just as much if you don't enjoy it
Where I am from, saying thank you doesn't warrant a response. It's certainly something I heard when I took a trip to New York though.
"You're welcome" sounds condescending.
Time to adopt a jaunty wink, finger guns, and a hearty "You got it, sport!" as the default response. What could possibly go wrong?
There’s also my press, “my pleasure,” or “glad I could help !” (If I mean it!)
i use it sarcastically in normal conversations with friends
i use it seriously when replying to my bosses in a corporate environment.
I'll give a barely imperceptable nod in return.
Anything more than that means you have inconvenienced me and I wish you nothing but Ill will for the rest of your life.
I use "you're welcome" in customer service, but nowhere else. It somehow always just sounds stilted and clumsy, even though it's something everyone else has said fine for years.
Otherwise I usually just say "of course", because I feel like it's the same sentiment but rolls off the tongue easier.
I don't care.
Fifteen years ago when I was traveling around California and Nevada, I was weirded out at how sales people responded to "thank you". They either said "yup", "ok", or stayed silent. I assumed it was a regional thing.
In central and eastern Canada, we say it.
I think "you're welcome" is just too formal. I would say it to a customer, not my friend.
I can say "You're welcome"... for money!
I just say, "Uh-huh!" Or "Yeah!" Like an idiot.
Are you sure they're not saying "you're whale cum", because that's what I do.
It's too bad Apple don't think all the thoughts I want to think for me anymore. Oh well. 8GB of RAM is all I need, and I have removed "You're welcome" from my lexicon.
My sister noticed in 1995 that Americans almost universally reply to 'thank you' with 'uh huh.'
I can't not hear it when I visit now,
We're embarrassed that the little effort we managed to produce on this obviously good day of the depression cycle was worthy of thanks, so we're trying to scuttle away from what feels like praise.
I use yw all the time.
I have just recently chosen to revive it. I'm not really sure why. I presume it's a matter of arbitrary fashion either way.
Hmm, honestly the word itself is uncommon now, at least where I live. I wonder if that's related.
To me, by default "welcome" means to a place. "You're welcome to the cookies" sounds archaic or British or something.
De nada.
El gusto es mío
why don't we add more useless sayings to this throaway conversation script?
thank you you're welcome thank you for welcoming me you're thanked as well welcome to my house allow me to vacuum your dick
Am I the only one who remembers "My pleasure" ?
It depends on how I feel. 90% of the time I don't want sone one to feel obligated so no problem is my response. When its truely a favor I am helping with its your welcome. When i would have done it for my own sake I want to say "my pleasure" but mostly say "of course!".
Yes. It's been disappearing since before I was born in the 80s, and is mostly gone now.
That's all I still use nowadays, I thought the others fell out of use.
You're welcome comes off as passive aggressive. I was forced for years to say you're welcome when I never really meant it, but when I say no problem or no worries I actually mean it so I still use you're welcome but I might as well be saying go fuck yourself
What happened to "You're welcome!" as a response to "Thank You"? It's not even included the one canned answers on an apple watch. Have we as a society abandoned it? I hear “No problem” far more often.
I've used both equally. "Thank you!" when I'm more appreciative about what was gifted/helped, and "No problem" when I just wish to be courteous and acknowledge, or I'm indifferent to, the aid that was given me.
I hate “no problem”. It implies you’ve imposed somehow on the other person.
If somebody is thanking you, you likely exerted effort on their behalf. So they say "thank you" for exerting effort, and then you respond with exerting effort was "no problem" you don't need to thank me. You're welcome would be a response more along the lines of "you are welcome" to make me exert effort.
They're both fine, and it's both a generational and locational thing. I personally prefer "no problem" because honestly I don't mind helping, but I'm also not giving you permission to use my effort at any time. You can have my efforts when it doesn't cause a problem.
Years ago, I had to do customer service training for a job, and one thing they said is to always say "you're welcome" instead of "no problem", because some people think "no problem" is rude. But I think it's a generational thing, and it's kind of the opposite with younger folks.
No worries.
All good
I have a friend who loses his mind when anyone uses this (who isn’t Australian.) He is also not Australian, not sure what his burden is
This is my go to. Picked it up when I was in AUS for a while and it has never left my lexicon.
I think we collectively decided that “you’re welcome” doesn’t make sense. Welcome to what??
you're whale cum
Isn’t that obvious? You’re welcome to the thing you received. The thing you are thanking them for.
to impose on me duh
Maybe it's "you are welcome (to ask me for help/favors, as I am neutral to the task. I might even enjoy it.)"
And "it's not a problem (for me to do what you asked me to do; we have now both acknowledged that I have done something to help you that was not organic to me, but now we can move past it with no further conversation.)"
I bet "no problem" to some people is like seeing someone wear a T-shirt to church. They'd really prefer it if you would put on a suit and tie, even though the purpose of both are the same (cover my body when away from home because that is our current social agreement), because a T-shirt is disrespectful.
Also everyone sucks, it is a problem, and you are not welcome.
Nothing is worse than other options though like Chic fil a's mandated "my pleasure"
When a chic-fil-a worker hits you with that, you gotta one-up them with "No! The pleasure is all mine!" and then hit the gas, peeling out cackling because you stole that pleasure motherfuckaaaaah.
(Or better, don't go to chic-fil-a)
I think a lot of younger generation, myself included, prefer casual responses, conflating professionalism with being rude, slimy, or otherwise malintentioned
I had to do one communucation trainung where the trainer saud that saying "no problem" should not be used, because it implies there might've been a problem. I was not convinced though.
Then "your welcome" implies you might not be welcome. Seems like either both work or both are problematic, he can't have it both ways.
Wow. facepalm The words literally say there's no problem, and yet it somehow implies there is a problem? Talk about overthinking what someone is saying.
This is why I often hate neurotypical communication styles. The world would be a lot more straightforward if people just said what they meant. Jesus fucking Christ on a motorbike...
Someone said that to me just the other day! That saying "no problem" implies there might be a problem. Crazy. I'm thinking of switching to "well it was quite an imposition on my time and energy to help you out, especially given you're not paying me, but I'll let it slide this time because you seem like an ok person and I'm in a good mood" just to annoy them.
During my years in retail exactly one customer ever had a problem with me saying "no problem". He also said he was an assassin. That's not a joke. This old, fat boomer said I shouldn't say 'no problem' because some people might take it to mean 'yes problem' and then told me he kills people for a living.
That's the stability of people that can't understand the meaning of words. If I go to a police station and say I am a serial killer vs I'm not a serial killer, I don't expect them to react the same...
I've been making an effort to use "happy to help" at work, instead of "no problem" because I was also informed it's a generational thing.
For paid service I like the simple "of course" recognizing that is what I'm here for and it's normal. No faux generosity nor implication of a tolerated imposition.
But what about "No problem at all"?