Do you guys date non-Marxist Leninists? Why or why not?

They'd at least have to be leftist and not a filthy TERF but they wouldn't have to be ML exclusively. No sectarianism under these sheets.

When we met I was a lib and she was a moderate/conservative. Now I'm ML exploring other leftist schools of thought and she's a Christian socialist. We've been married for like 11 years now.

It's funny because most of our ideas overlap but we came to the same point from completely different journeys.

When I met my partner over 20 years ago we were both pretty much radlibs, for social justice and all that, but pretty well brainwashed by all the red scare.

In between here we broke up once and I met a Murican guy online who seemed nice, but turned out to be an actual hardcore southern rebublican. I truly found the implications of this out when we sat on a couch talking politics and I casually said: "But if we consider Marx..." At this point the man literally physically backed away from me looking absolutely horrified, it led to a whole thing where I had to explain to him that in my world this is a philosopher who is read in school. It was the wildest experience for me ever. We broke up later, for many reasons and many of them political.

Got back with my og partner and at the example of our kid I have ended up ML and he is pretty much there now as well. Honestly would never again share my life with someone whose basic values are so far from mine, it was pretty grim.

I do because Marxism is about accepting material reality and the material reality is that I’m not going to spend extra effort trying to find a mythical ML in the US.

i don't date at all but i can't imagine wanting an intimate relationship with someone who doesn't agree with or at least approve of my most strongly held convictions and ethics and morality. that sounds like a supremely uncomfortable and likely toxic situation. i'm not so horny and desperate that i'll get myself into a permanent awkward social situation of eternal self-repression around the ones i trust most, and i'm suuuuuuper horny and desperate.

It's better praxis to date a turbolib and radicalize them.

Ive never dated. I don't think its a good idea to set expectations before ive tried it

Do you [...] date

No

Anyone who is left and not a "left"-anticommunist.

If I didn't I'd never get laid again. Most left wing girl I've hooked up with was DemSucc.

I mean, I wasn't radicalized when I met my partner years ago.

Another ML? Under these material conditions? In this day and age? Localized a deep red state? ... May I see?

I'm a strange person and have limited dating prospects due to not really aligning with mainstream culture, nor being counter-culture in a way that promotes dating. I can't really afford to lower the pool further.

My partner is somewhere in the range between democratic socialist (like, the latin American kind not a social democrat) and an anarchist, but we agree on the most important fact that the US is the Great Satan and must be stopped.

My partner and I were both libs when we met, and then we radicalized each other over the years. Now we’re ancoms

I am not an ML and no one I ever dated was an ML at the time. So i answer relative to myself.

In general I much prefer to date people with closely aligned politics. Or even better, someone who is more developed in their politics than I am, more ambitious, more serious, more experienced. When I can get it. I eventually find the non-left people boring and annoying for any but the most casual or brief relationships and the feeling is often mutual. I enjoy a diversity of people in my life generally but to date someone you end up spending a lot of time with them. If a person is just not interested in collective improvement for humanity, or worse they are opposed to it, there is a finite amount of time to be shared. That time can be fun while it lasts and if the sex is good or there is some other common interest it can be extended.

OTOH, as someone else mentioned, dating within orgs and close tendencies might not be a good idea. In heterosexual couples it very often ends up that the woman becomes marginalized in a breakup, even when there is not a lot of conflict and no overt patriarchal actions taken. I think men and women who date their comrades should consider managing the end of their relationship from the outset to avoid this. And other comrades around them also need to take responsibility for making sure the woman does not get disposed of this way, because it seems to be a phenomena which is very likely otherwise.

OTOOH, being a revolutionary is extremely sexy in a way which is very appreciated by comrades so some hanky panky is inevitable and can strengthen bonds and trust. Just make sure you arent in some kind if spycops type scenario. Probably best to steer clear of the SWP and such. Who i doubt are MLs anyway.

My partner has positive feelings towards the soviet union and that's good enough for me. We can work on the rest over time.

Most people are not politicized either way. If you end up staying together, if you are compatible they'll come around.

I was lucky enough to fall in love with an amazing woman who happens to be into an obscure left-communist tendency and she seems to agree with many of my more ML takes. I don't think being an ML should be a requirement of dating anyone, but if they're not willing to engage with your politics in good faith then that's a major red flag.

Tbh I’ve only ever dated liberals and that seems to be where things have been considering it’s been almost two years since I’ve had sex

I'm not currently dating but when I did, I was the annoying type to talk about politics early on. When I get back in the game, I'll continue to do so but being explicitly ML is not a requirement. Sympathetic to the left and politically literate is enough.

I'm pretty averse to dating. I'd rather not be tangled this close with the lives of others, it went terrible the first time and staying single is appealing. As a strongly romantic person it's difficult, but at least I'm demi so it ain't something hellish to live with because I haven't yet found someone that is able to tingle those feelings again.

Being lonely ain't so bad, I've gotten used to it.

I don't even know if given the chance of dating an ML, if I would even take it or deny it.

I mentioned this before in LemmyGrad's thread but for 99% of people it literally doesn't matter what your partners political opinions are going to be if you get along.

If you live in the west you probably aren't going to lead the vanguard revolution in your lifetime. The most likely outcome is you read theory and watch as a bunch of liberals run the government for your entire life. As long as they aren't literal fascists calling for the death of minorities, don't deny yourself personal happiness out of some kind of ideological purity. You're the equivalent of a medieval peasant 200 years away from bourgeoisie revolution.

There is no material difference between the DSA radlibs and ML commies because the latter are still limited by the conditions which prevent revolution in the West.

I married my spouse when we were both libs. I subsequently radicalized but she didn’t 😭.

I would describe her as to the left of Bernie, but she still hates communism. Universal health care and housing are non-negotiable for her, for instance, but she still doesn’t like when I blame social problems on capitalism. She also generally thinks that politicians should be in prison, but she’s also anti-China, but she says that Chinese cities look cool when I show her videos of people just walking around inside them. She was actually well to my left when we first got hitched.

My partner is a lib, but mostly apolitical.

The reality is, even among socialists there is way more diversity of thought out there IRL than there is on this website. Not a criticism of this website, but if you’re waiting for someone who ticks off a list of correct takes, you might be alone for a loooong time.

Even along other vectors like religion or how to raise kids, couples often have some differing values. Of course you’ll be miserable with some chud, but that’s likely a case where both values and specific beliefs are radically out of alignment. I would say you should focus more on actual values like compassion for humanity, willingness to question the status quo, etc.

Frankly, I think focusing on correct beliefs in a leftist partner is a mistake. Communism isn’t about just having the right beliefs, it’s about action and changing the world. I think if you have a partner who has a lot of the same values as you and is cool with you getting out there and organizing (rarer than you think), then you’re golden. Also if you plan on having kids, should be non-negotiable that you try and impart your values on them.

But ngl, having a partner who doesn’t share your same beliefs can be rough sometimes. I’m actually glad we don’t have a relationships comm because I would be venting there more than I should. But relationships are hard no matter what, so idk.

yes because how often do you encounter other marxist leninists

I just want someone to talk to who is on the same page as me on a lot of the issues that get discussed in leftist spaces. Tendency matters less when you are surrounded by chuds of every kind imaginable. Plus I'm don't really identify with a particular tendency at the moment. It's just good to have an ally nearby.

Bro I haven't even met one