NO. Next question.

This entire techbro anti aging cult bubble is both a lot more entertaining and makes much more sense when you simply assume it's ran by a bunch of vampires. Like, take a look at that guy. Famous for getting blood transfusions from his son, avoids sunlight at all costs, brags about his low body temperature, just has the all-around biggest Ventrue ancilla vibes you can imagine.

ofc if you want to grift people who want to avoid death at all costs, making them think you're a vampire is a fairly sound marketing concept to make them pay for premium access to your inner circle.

We're getting transhumanism for the 1% and the dystopia for the rest of us.
- Nah, they're all gonna invest in tech snake oil while getting Long Covid over and over till it kills them.
- Nah. If they somehow cure aging we can just do things the old fashioned way 😜
- Brave new world: the instruction manual.
  Only the ruling class are seen as full humans and their lives are nothing more than a massive cradle-to-grave party where they enjoy all the things they tell poor people are ‘sinful’ all the time and free of charge. Eugenics and transhumanism have boosted them to nigh-godhood
  Lower ranking people are literally programmed to enjoy their menial labor. Porky’s whole thing irl is telling us to forget college or any other life-changing experience and leaving our hometowns and just do all the undesirable jobs they don’t want to do for shit pay…with a smile on our faces (seriously, I felt ill reading that bit because as an autistic person, that’s literally how they want me to be. An NPC happy to spend my whole life doing menial labor for no reward.)
https://xcancel.com/bryan_johnson/status/1778493332827897876#m
- Thankfully, all my comrades are masking. Right?
That's nothing a billion dollars cant fix, just buy new lungs.
- He better hurry. Not a lot of novids out there.
Someone needs to explain what the word “mild” means to him. What he is showing is a severe symptom.
- People who use Mild have always been referring to the acute Covid, aka the initial infection. Totally ignoring how many doctors and researchers out there were saying there's no such thing as a mild infection because of the long term damage, but you know, OOPSIE DAISY!🤷

I've seen some clips of this dude, absolute freak. I hope he lives to early old age and drops off quickly because of extreme anxiety due to the treatments doing nothing at a certain point. Can you imagine, the first slightest sign that the millions he spends can't stop time. Suddenly his whole psyche implodes and he literally stresses himself to death.

the first slightest sign that the millions he spends can't stop time.
I'm some years older than he is. One day I had an experience that made me think of the idiom "I know __________ like the back of my hand." I was in my kitchen chopping away on the chopping board . The light in that part of my kitchen is surprisingly bright. When I looked down - for the first time I noticed that there was a noticeably older network of tiny wrinkles on the back of my hand when my fingers were splayed out. In the years since then - I've gotten some tiny, faint liver spots. None of that is surprising. That's aging and - shocker(!) - your body systemically gets older.
Typically vain people have plastic surgery or do procedures on the certain parts of their body and in particular on their face. But he's probably checking every inch of his body every day for any tiny "flaw". What is he going to do when all his millions have failed to stop what I happened to notice on the back of my hand that day? I wonder if in his 60s or 70s he'll die due to his own insane vanity. For example - I can imagine him having a crazy and highly dangerous number of Botox injections on at a similarly crazy and highly dangerous frequency.
I will celebrate when this fucker dies from some experimental de-aging procedure
Oh yeah he's fo sho gonna crash spectacularly and publicly like Jordan Peterson. You can't have this much denial and atypical pathology going on without it eventually catching up.

I wish someone told him about HRT making you look 10 years younger. Could get some funny memes out of that.

I'm sure he's doing a lil estrogen and blocking some androgen. He would be silly not to.
- He's on finasteride which kinda counts? Not really
I feel like Hesse from Seeking Derangements made this joke, too, lol
- So, there are other geniuses out there who can see the meme potential? Interesting.

he might be alive, but he's not living.

I just saw this 10m ago and was also like wtf. Just the 'free press' washing the image of a literal vampire. Imagine the treatment if some Russian or Chinese billionaire did the same thing.

Their vampiric oligarchs our immortal heroes

Are we the first generation that won't die?

we the first generation

we

someone tell his gen x ass he is in fact not a teenager and will die within the next couple decades, long before any pipe dream immortality tech would ever even be conceived as possible or not

follow his lead

Ah yes lemme just go grab that extra 2 million a year I'm sitting on not doing anything with and join you

I miss the days where these rich bozos obbsessed with not dying just drank a bunch of mercury...

drinks litres of colloidal silver
"Oh, no, no. I’m not invulnerable yet. No, I’m afraid I just blue myself."
- "Oh mercy me, I keep forgetting I'm in the colonies"
'Tis named after the Roman God of Commerce, why would it not alleviate my maladies?

Isn't he just the new Ray Kurzwell or whatever his name was, at this point? Just someone so afraid of death because their culture is so nhilistic that they hope for eternal life through technology?

The western death taboo is so pathetic.
He's more like aubrey de grey all he needs to do is be accused of sexual harassment and he will be there
Is there anything particularly wrong with eternal life through technology? What makes it nihilistic?

People that spend millions on not dying are the last people on earth that shouldn't die.

he doesn't even look young tho. he looks sickly if anything lmao.

He choose to look 49, or he can choose to look like a 28 year old lizard.
- in most photos he looks 40 minimum. in a lot of photos he just looks like a 50 year old with surgery and/or on meth
He looks about as youthful as my ~40 year old ex boyfriend recovering meth addict. Which is still surprisingly youthful all things considered, but still, I think people are forgetting that not laboring in the sun all day or doing other back breaking labor accrues less visible wear and tear and so a lot of us look younger than previous generations.

No one escapes the reaper

Except for me

I'm just different that way

Yeah my dead homie was built the same way.

Something really funny could theoretically happen tomorrow

im excited for more rich guinea pigs for various fad diets. i always wanted to see the real science! and now we can do it in an ethical way, by watching the rich poison themselves
Steve jobs is our biggest winner

Is obsessed with own "health", taking ludicrous measures to try to live as long as possible

Gets long COVID anyway

Need to set myself up a Google news alert for his obituary so I can make sure I'm getting my schadenfreude promptly.

Anyone want to put an over-under on him not making it to the average American male life expectancy? I feel like there's something in all the crap he does that's burning the candle a little faster.

This guy's name is so similar to the healthcare ceo that for a second i thought i had unlocked a whole new level of irony.

Yeah I know about this guy from podcasts laughing at him so when I first heard the news about the adjuster's deed I was like "heh." Then I found out the details and had a proper cackle.
both of them have similar names to the lead "singer" of AC/DC so it's all really fucking confusing in australia

Its going to be so funny when this guy just dies in a car crash or something and all this eternal life stuff is all for nothing

Is he even

egan?

Once more I would like to remind people that this vampire has taken blood transfusions from his son, while the science indicates that giving blood is much better for your health

science indicates that giving blood is much better for your health
Chat is this true? I've been volcel long enough that my queerness won't be an issue anymore. _eyeroll _emoji _bitterly _implied.
- Giving blood is one of the best ways to reduce your heavy metal bioaccumulation, and since blood is usually processed after donation the eventual recipients won't be getting metalled up either. Basically a universal win because blood donations save lives.

Setting up a "Is Bryan Johnson Dead Yet?" website, but then realising that "Is Bryan Johnson Alive Yet?" website might be more insulting

isn't this the guy with the personal blood boy?

i thought that was vampire thiel
- Thiel hires them out, this guy uses his son
- it was, ofc, both of them
- yeah i was possibly confused between the two, but it might have been because they both get boyblood transfusions.
  seems like as per the other reply, Johnson is the one with his son hooked up as the consistent supply (also, I'm likely fucking 100% wrong about this, but i swear i read some made up shit one time that said his son/blood source was a clone lmao)
"Witness me!"
Fuckin almost dies from a botched elective surgery

Betteridge's law of headlines

Also has this dude even heard of shirts

But then how would you see his translucent, boy-like chest?

Once again remembering the biohacker techbro who took ketamine and drowned in a sensory deprivation tank

Nice way to die tbh

Didn't he have a botched procedure like 2 months ago, which kind of nullified all of his youth elixirs?

Honestly I do hope sometimes that transhumanism will get significantly more advanced in my lifetime. Like, will some people alive today get significant gene therapy? Completely synthetic organs? I'd like to think it's possible.

Tails
- Pregnant sonic

Is this the guy drinking baby blood or is that someone else?

This is the one taking his son's blood, I believe

Dorian Gray tried this and went mad.

I’m sure they’d like to force this on the worker bees too.

we should be following his lead

Oh? Is he gonna give me 2 million $ a year?

Multiple millions of dollars and all he's achieved is weird erectile issues and nonfunctional tear ducts.

nonfunctional tear ducts.
I thought on the rich those were just vestigial?
Broke: retaining your vital essence by not masturbating
Woke: retaining your vital essence by sealing your tear ducts shut
- sealing your tear ducts shut
  WAIT THAT'S WHAT HE DID? Bruh, there are people who would kill for good health and he's throwing it away?!

this dude is going to die from one of his "anti-aging" surgeries/treatments. he recently had a botched fat transfer to his face that made him look like he'd stuck his head in a bee hive