What is “gooning” and why is it bad

not sure if you are sincerely asking but I'm gonna answer your question sincerely anyway

Let’s say I knew a goon, let’s say I wanted to hurt them a bit and knock some sense into them, would that be a good thing?
- well there's a pretty good chance they would be into that. but it probably won't get them to stop gooning
addiction to porn
Were the Mormons in Utah right to declare porn a public health crisis?
EDIT: A link for you in case you wanted a look
EDIT2: Sorry if this is coming off as aggressive. I am not trying to trap you or anything. I just like using this question as a gauge on where to work from when talking to people about this.
- no, Utah republicans are likely doing that because they want to ban porn, which I don't support because that would ultimately hurt sex workers more than anyone. besides I don't think pornography is inherently bad, even if a lot of it is bad and the industry in which most of it is produced is exploitative (but so is every other capitalist industry). banning porn would of course not eliminate it but drive it underground, where it would be unregulated and get mixed up with some truly reprehensible things.
  frankly when I talk about porn addiction it's somewhat personal because I myself am addicted to porn. but I don't hate it or want it banned because of that. like a lot of people who are susceptible to porn addiction I'm incredibly alienated and isolated, so I think the key here is to create a less atomized society.

It’s when you pay money to post on SomethingAwful like a loser

- S-tier username

::: spoiler CW tucker carlson

Don't judge me.

Don't you dare fucking judge me you fucking removed commie schmuck

Gooning is masculine. It's masculinity in pure form. It's a man getting together with himself to be a man. To embrace being a white male in a way our feminist-woke dominated society won't allow. What does it mean to be male? The penis. It's about worshipping your cock as a source of your own masculine pride.

I first invented gooning in 2007 after a debate with John Stewart. He tore me apart, I was ready to punch him on stage and unleash all of my rage. It turned me on so much. During the commercial break I went to the green room to jerk off harder than I ever did before. No hand lotion I was ready to rip my cock off why imaging Mrs Sean Hannity and her boozankers, good lord they were like expired watermelons filled with watery mustard. So hot. Every green room in major network studios has a stack of playboys inside, for the men yes, but mostly to let female anchors and guest know they aren't respect.

I keep glue sticks on my self to munch on when I need a quick snack so I tore out every page of the playboys and glued them all over the walls, ceiling, and floor. Every single square inch filled with hottest women of the early 70s. Coincidently this was also the first time I had ever jerked off but I figured it out quick. It was like I was traveling through the end scene of 2001: A Space Odyssey (don't watch btw its too woke). Stars had filled my brain, literal stars, not just visions of bright lights but energy masses 10,000,000 times the size of Earth burning at 25,000 times the intensity of our dying sun were contained in my brain, I could see colors that God couldn't see. (Catholic God btw IDK if Mormon God could see anything different). I was there for hours, days, weeks, I hadn't eaten or drank anything for a millennium. I didn't feel the need to after a few centuries.

Suddenly I heard a knock on my door, and John Stewart had walked inside. "Hey pal how are you you doing? Why do you have the lights turned off?" I was sitting in complete darkness in the green room. There were no stars, no gods, even no playboys. Just my glue stick and a broken light bulb. "I'm doing fine, John, just fine. Let's get back to our desk before the commercial ends".

:::

to embrace being a white male in a way our feminist-woke dominated society won't allow.
the dom/sub/hypnosis part is literally the only remotely interesting part about gooning
I first invented gooning in 2007 after a debate with John Stewart. He tore me apart, I was ready to punch him on stage and unleash all of my rage. It turned me on so much.
True motive for debate perverts?

gooning is when the joker hires you to be one of the background characters that batman beats up

one of the background characters that batman beats up
This was my gender for the longest time
- careful, they say the bat's out tonight

The point is, ladies and gentleman, that gooning, for lack of a better word, is good.

Gooning is right.

Gooning works.

Gooning clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Goon, in all of its forms; gooning for life, for cum, for love, knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind. And gooning, you mark my words, will not only save Hexbear, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA. Thank you very much.

Hi, I'm goon actor Michael Douglas, reprising my role as Gordon Gecko, except now it's Goondon't Geccum, in the movie Wall-to-wall monitors playing very hardcore pornography as I crank my sore meat Street

there are two kinds of internet users when you ask about porn:

"porn is bad, it makes you weak" (subtype of this is the Progressive version, where porn is bad and makes you weak because the porn industry hurts women, which is true, but for some reason these people have literally never heard of any other form of erotic media and act like it's some sort of ontological fact and not something caused by social circumstance)
"porn is good, x minority deserves to be dehumanized even when i get off to them"

edit: sorry, that was an unrelated rant. Gooning is when you play Goonstation. It's a good server!

Why has the discourse regressed to 1. sex-negative anti-porn 70s "feminism" and 2. cumbrained bigoted horny guys :(
- No, the feminism is a minority! The majority of anti-porn people just hate it because women bad. Remember, if something seems bad in hellworld, it’s always worse!

as celine dion once sang, "my heart will goon"

I love that song! It was so perfect in the soundtrack of that movie... I can't remember what it was called but it was about the Titanic.
All credit for the joke goes to Brent Terhune. This guy deserves more subscribers.
- A+ content, but what the fuck is he talking about? :D

Listen here

gooning may have it's flaws, but it's the best system we have.

It's being a random guy who works for The Penguin or other such villains. And villains are bad.

i'm a boomer, can somebody not do an irony and actually explain the difference between gooning and porn addiction? seems tragic either way

Death to America

It's a dude who goes on a jerk off marathon for hours at a time, and I'm sure there's a few that will do days. It can be any combination of edging or shooting one off as soon as he's reloaded. Wouldn't even necessarily have to be with porn, gooning is all about the peen. Some say that a proper goon sesh is a transcendant meditative state, where the mind is no longer present and has merged all consciousness with the dong mind.
Basically they de-evolve into bonobos.
- de-evolve
The presence of shame
- So much this!
It seems to me gooning is actually fetishizing your porn addiction to the extreme. Like it gets you off that you are addicted to porn and will spend hours on end masturbating.

AFAIK gooning is just like.....spending a whole day watching porn.

To a normal person the amount of prep work required for 24 hours of non stop edging is incomprehensible.
Gatorade, granola bars. If it's got electrolytes and protein your body craves it. You are a cock athlete.
You're gonna need lube. Water based? Petroleum based? Perhaps coconut oil?
You'll need multiple video sources. One pc monitor ain't gonna cut it. What if you lose power mid goon? What if the monitor shits the bed? You're gonna need charged tablets and smartphones at the ready.
You'll need a carefully pruned watchlist specifically curated to keep your interest and your blood flowing hour after hour.
Fleshlights and other sextoys stand no chance. The friction from your numb cock is gonna melt them.
Gooning isn't just a repeated act of pleasure engaged in multiple times a week. No, gooning is a lifestyle. Friends? Forget about it. Intimate relationships? Why? You have fleshlights to burn out. Gainful employment of any sort? Only for the truly dedicated. Be prepared to work when you're sick and use sick days to spend in bed soaking in a puddle of your own sweat.
The path of the gooner is covered in the bodies of the weak. But one gooner did rise above his addiction. He's gooning in the Valhalla of goon caves: The United States Capitol.
They call him Speaker Mike Johnson.

Goon is an extremely cheap type of wine sold in cardboard boxes. It's core audience are alcoholic working poor in Australia. It's an industry that preys on disenfranchised proles (and sometimes broke uni students) and their alcohol addictions.

As such, many in polite society dislike goon due to its association with the Poor's and the working class.

Others despise goon as it perpetuates a cycle of alcoholism.

As an alcoholic who used to drink two or three boxes of goon a week... Yeah, but it did also mean my alcoholism didn't break the bank. Not that that's a "good" reason for such easily available alcohol. That said, it's actually a surprisingly good money <-> calories ratio and helps you forget a mountain of debt sitting around that $45 wouldn't put a dent in.
Advising you don't do this.
- Yeah honestly, goon and orange juice was a staple of uni parties in the early 2010's, until they invented Little Fat Lamb. Had friends that subsisted off of goon and mi goreng noodles for basically 4 years.

There's a whole discourse around this that basically amounts to "gooners are fascists" but I'm convinced that gooning is already undergoing a transition into standard kink spaces and lgbt spaces to the point that it will lose all association with prior shitheads that have popularised it as a term. Once too many queers are saying it the bad crowds will hate it.

Anyway it's just masturbation/porn addiction and long session edging where people masturbate for several hours in a row given a new word to make it less negative for its practitioners.

Oh, so it’ll be another form of cryptohomophobia! I can’t wait to see people vagueposting on Hexbear about how “d*generate” furries AND gooners are
- I think that's a possibility yeah. As it transitions out of these actually-bad circles and into kink/queer it will take on a different character and the original crowd will absolutely hate it. They'll turn on it really hard.

Is gooning the pathway to fascism? featuring Dr. Norman Finkelstein

Best comment here holy shit :data-laughing:

I mean, if you goon once in a blue moon, it's all well and good. Everything in moderation, whether that be with gooning or something more vanilla like fireplay.

In 1947, Stalin implemented a policy in all Gulags where all prisoners would have to sit in a circle and communally masturbate. The prisoners nicknamed the event “Gunag” after the word “Gulag,” but after the policy was declassified during Glasnot, the word was bastardized by westerners until it became known as “Gooning”

It sounds like some sort of weird slang they use in Britain. I don't care for the word and wish they'd end their streak of referring to it on the pod.

some sort of weird slang they use in Britain
funnily enough "gooner" also refers to fans of Arsenal FC
- I knew my suspicions were right.
  Now I can say this with confidence so I can get it out of my system: "He's a bloody gooner mate! A bloody gooner!" (In reference to my college roommate who was an actual Arsenal fan)
- is a Arsenal fan (or at least a focus group has advised him to pretend to be), I'm waiting for him to describe himself as "a massive gooner" in an interview and then I can finally walk into the wilderness never to be seen again.
- Gunners* gooners is probably a diss
- Love it.
It should be called extended play or something

Gooning is if those triple screen tiktoks except all the screens are porn.

People are getting big mad about porn addiction. But streaming services tailor their content to be 'second screen activities' and boomers are always watching 5 shows at once on normal tv so gooning doesn't strike me as that odd. People can't just passively absorb screens and their best solution to make them more active is to switch between multiple screens.

too long didn't read

not a single person in this thread apparently knows what gooning is...tragic!

I am to embarrassed to ask. Is gooning real? I know people started it as a meme. However people do memes ironically thrn do them for real. Did that one get lathed into existence? What level of irony are we operating on? I do not know.