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dead [he/him] @hexbear.net

2y ago

TrueAnon Presents "Storm the Capitol", January 6th inspired board game

https://nitter.net/TrueAnonPod/status/1742200955809014028

79 comments

Card 1
Your diet of fried food and supplements is making you hallucinate. In a vision, Pepe the Frog dances around you. He approaches, holding a moonshine martini.
Roll a 7 or higher:
If you succeed, take a +1 Prize Card.
If you fail, confess to Pepe that you love fucking your wife and lose -1 Prize Card.
Card 2
You find an unused vial of Hillary Clinton's adrenochrome on the floor.
Gain +1 Health.
Card 3
Once again, you have been silenced! Big tech and their demon-rat allies have conspired to ban your social media account.
If you have ever been banned from a social media site, gain +1 Health.
Card 4
As you scour the floor for lottery tickets, you come across a pipe bomb! Despite its phallic shape, you immediately hurl yourself onto it.
Roll a 7 or higher:
If you succeed, you crush the bomb and save the day. Everyone is safe.
If you fail, every Patriot in your wing loses -1 Health. Talk about a hurt locker!
Card 5
After four years of accusing every famous person of being a Satanic pedophile, you begin to suspect the same of your closest allies.
All Patriots must roll a single die.
The highest roll wins the pedophile battle royale, beating the accusations and taking +1 Prize Card from each Patriot.
In case of tie, roll until a winner is decided.
- Card 6: you taser yourself in the balls and die
  
  There's probably a card for this. The website says that there are 125 Event cards in total.
- If you have ever been banned from a social media site, gain +1 Health.
  "Go Touch Grass" card!
Completely baffling move. They seem to have put a whole lot of effort into what is at best a throw-away joke
- High-effort bits are good!
  
  not $65-for-a-box-that-will-never-be-opened good, though
- It's something to do with lib relatives during their
  a few days from now
- Yeah they shoulda liked...changed the world or something
  
  Essentially this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AH_CoCAPFw0
Good bit. Wish I knew people irl to play it with.
Tazed yourself in the balls: skip your next turn
yoooooo i love asymmetrical boardgames (1v2, 1v3, 2v4, etc.). i know this is a bit and a joke but on first glance it looks like it could be legit good
- is it asymmetric? I thought everyone plays as a patriot?
  
  from my understanding, you can be 1 of 6 PATRIOTS doing PATRIOTIC stuff, or you can be the Capitol Police police to try and stop them.
  i've got too too too many boardgames to justify buying this, but it still looks cool
Is
a playable character?
- Apparently yes
  
  The QAnon Viking?
- Same reason they take down bootleg feeds of their podcast:
  $$$
  
  That had more to do with the solicitation of donations of the bootleg podcast. Knowing how game development and manufacturing works, I don't think they are going to make much money on this bit. If they really wanted to start making money, they would do ad sponsors or start selling more t-shirts.
- It’s a good way to calm your hooting chud uncle and your crowing lib aunt and have some good old fashioned family fun everyone can enjoy
Gonna sell out in 10 minutes, I dont get paid til the 12th
If I played this with my IRL friends I'd be the only person finding it funny
- My irl friends already have a day planned to play lmao
  
  Where do you get friends that cool? College?
looks fun honestly.
This is next level shitposting
God they have been upping their shitposting this past year. kicking of 2024 with a bang
like the cop character. ubuhdeeubuhdeeubuhde that's all folks
- That needs to become our :capitol-police: emoji
Who’s buying this for us so that we can have a game night
Ahh yes. What a funny day that was. Very funny.
- A bunch of car dealership owners took the week off to rush into lobby of the capital building, then wander about aimlessly waiting for a cutscene to start. What is that, if not funny?
  
  Um, excuse me, that's a really unfair characterization.
- Meemaw confirmed as a playable character
- A bunch of frothing petty bourgeoisie, landleeches, and off-duty cops sacking the seat of white supremacist hegemonic power because they are very stupid is actually really funny, especially because several of them managed to die despite being welcomed with literal open arms by the on-site security.
  I just wish libs would put two and two together and compare how they and the media treats literally that exact same class demographic doing literally the exact same thing to government buildings in designated Bad Countries vs how they reacted to it being done by domestic fash to their own legislature. The same hogs who squealed and clapped when nativist militants sacked the Hong Kong legislature in the name of racism sob and clutch pearls over some suburbanite freaks smearing shit all over the super special sacred building of state power at home, and they don't see the irony in that.
- Think of the emojis. Also it helped remind the world that the U.S. is a very serious country.
- It was possibly the funniest thing that has ever happened.
  
  Legit the funniest thing in my lifetime
- It was easily one of the top 5 funniest things thars happened in the last hundred years. It's neck and neck with Fabio getting face blasted by a goose while riding a roller coaster.
- yes, it was hilarious
- Correct.
- go fuck the constitution if you think it's so great
- Yep it was hilarious
- they just went back to the airport afterward lol
Can somebody tell me what their big announcement is supposed to be? Did they secure a HBO deal or something?
How accurate is the layout?
This is some extremely high tier trolling
Surprised somebody didn't just reskin the pieces from Stratego...
Yoo, did you see the independent article being mad about this game?

79 comments