If a movie was being made about your life, what actor/actress would you have play as you?

I want to be played by a dog

My life isn't very interesting, but it'd really spice things up if they had a dog try to do it.

What's the story, Wishbone?
There's no rule that says a dog can't play ~~basketball~~ a person!

:P
- The Air Bud cinematic universe is a lawless hellscape
You spent the first few years of your life, catching tail and sniffing butt, winning through life on loveable personality alone, and becoming a loyal and devoted partner, spending your sunset years curled up on a nice seat, watching the kids do their thing and getting occasional head pats from strangers for a life well lived and job well done.
- 🐶
Is your name Beethoven by any chance?

Aubrey Plaza. She’s way hotter than me (that’s kinda the point), and not half Japanese (will make the racist parts confusing and/or hilarious) but she could definitely pull off my resting bitch face and general disdain for everything.

Ed Sheeran. Specifically because he's not an actor and would stumble through the movie just like I stumbled through life. All ginger, no plan.

All Ginger No Plan - that's an amazing life motto. ;)
- Sounds like the name of a stand up comedy special.
Cannot stand the guy. Pretends to be humble as fuck. Shoots videos of himself being humble as fuck. Turns up in movies to unnecessarily defocus the scene.
Yeah the guy can sing and has a comfortable body, so does my dog.

Danny Devito.

...I'm a woman.

I refer to him as Daddy DeVito

... I'm a dude.

I'm pretty tall, so the logical choice would be Tom Cruise on 12 inch heels.

Three Tom Cruises in a trenchcoat

Brad Pitt.

Bit of a downgrade but I can live with it.

Gary Oldman, dude's a chameleon. I'm sure he could find a way to play a mid 30s SE Asian dude

On the other hand, if you had Will Ferrel play you, but he and everyone is completely unaware that he is SE asian.
- I'd take him as a second choice if I couldn't get Gary. To muddy the waters a bit I'd try to get Ken Watanabe and Shohreh Aghdashloo to play my parents.

I want my movie to be cast entirely with Muppets and Tim Walz.

Best answer
Shit. I didn't think this through well enough. Can I change my answer to yours?

Christopher Walken, Jeff Goldblum, Willem Dafoe, and Gary Oldman. All of them.

Everywhere, all at once.
So sorta like the imaginarium of Dr. parnissius? ( its called something along those lines lol)

David Cross and Bob Odenkirk, with a made-up face surgery scene mid-film to explain the change.

They're both male so I'm assuming you were very ugly and bald at some point but now not quite as ugly and your hairline is ...un-receding?

Jk
- I'm actually a beautiful woman. They will both have to agree to substantial surgeries before they agree to play me.
The spirit of the 90s lives on

Nice try FBI

Zac Efron.

The girl I was crushing on in high school crushed on him really hard as he appeared in High School Musical. I spent wayyyy too much of my youth trying to emulate Zac Efron as a result. Eventually, that whole style just kinda became my whole style. Seems like a good fit.

Nicolas Cage

Looks nothing like, but it would be funny as hell and in order to get him to sign up, they would have to make it somehow trippy and surreal.

John Malkovich, I don't know why. I just like him. And I think he would be kind in my portrayal.

In Soviet Russia, John Malkovich being you.
With your user name I was expecting another answer (and a pretty cool zombie movie)
Ditto. I think he could bring out the exasperation and pessimism that so much of my life warrants. And the transition to the good parts would be even funnier. "Oh, sorry honey, you're why I keep going. I should have said that to him."

Karl Pilkington. he would do a great job of complaining about every minor inconvenience I've dealt with

Lady Gaga

I bear no resemblance. I can't sing. I just think she's neat.

I'm not a fan of Lady Gaga but my ex-wife looked like her if she had a bad nose job and gigantic breasts.

I’ve been told more than once that I look like “that creepy Scarecrow guy from Batman Begins.” So I guess Cillian Murphy. I didn’t like looking creepy tho.

They meant hot, but didn't dare say it.
- Aww thanks

I look like a middle-aged Richard Gere, with hair loss. All action on the sides, and nothing on top.

Adrien Brody.

I'm told, quite often, I look like him. Plus he's a method actor or whatever do we would get to hang out which might be cool. He seems nice.

People say I look like Carrie Ann Moss (Trinity) but as a child I had more Lucy Lawless resemblances. So I don't know, but either case they'll have to get a tan cause I'm more of a Penelope Cruz skin tone.

For the 5% of my adult life that I’ve had short hair and no beard: Quentin Tarantino. For the rest of my bearded, long-haired adulthood: Steve Burke from Gamers Nexus. But they need to have blue/green eyes and forehead wrinkles.
(Huh. On paper that just sounds like I look like Nick Offerman, but not really.)

Was hoping to see Margot Robbie in here requesting Margot Robbie play her

Or one of the Margot Robbie looking actresses

Rowan Atkinson.

Jason Mamoa. I look like if he took a break from the gym for a year. He and I also share several hobbies.

No question at all, definitely Tim Robbins, although he is older than me, we are fan casting.

John Cusack (high fidelity)

John Cusack (Gross Pointe Blank)

Some lonely sad miserable and depressed actor

Melissa McCarthy, she has a good sense of humor which is great because my life is kind of a joke.

Gary Busey in cheap drag

- Welcome to the revolution!
  https://youtu.be/5D0o2sLsGAk?si=iq3bwoeJ-jJSD1lv

Toni Collette or Kathy Bates both horror queens and monarchs of my heart.

Ronald Reagan, the actor

One time a homeless guy asked if I was Serj Tankian so I guess him?

Steven Yeun and Bobby Lee interchangeably

Walton Goggins, but he plays me at every age like John C. Reilly in Walk Hard.

Jack Black, easily.

Aw, I wanted Jack Black.

Guess I'll have to go with my second choice, Danny DeVito.

Peewee herman voice and all...

Yes I'm quite the lady-killer...

I only just recently learned the voice bit as I've never recorded myself. I used to think I was just ugly lmao

I dunno, nobody in Hollywood looks the way I look.

So, I guess I'd pick John Candy because I just like the guy.

Yeah, I know he's dead. If I can't have him, then Ildris Elba because he's fucking cool.

I don't know anyone that has that low of a charisma level. Maybe like some resting bitch face extra.

Depp , he’s about the only one that could pull it off.

Never gonna happen because I'm white and look absolutely nothing like him, but I wouldn't mind having Jam Hsiao play me. Don't know if he's done more than Green Door on Netflix, but I'd still absolutely enjoy it.

Though, if it was animated, I'd want kid me voiced by Cree Summer because she is my all time favorite voice actor/actress.

If I was being vain, Stuart Townsend. But in reality, it would be young Steve Buscemi.

In one of my best photos 10 years ago I vaguely looked like Lana Parilla, so that would be awesome. Realistically, someone fat.

Keanu Reeves, I'm basically an autistic Johnny Silverhand.

Nathan Hurd. He was in She-Hulk as Man Bull.

I don't know but yes

I look like what you would get if Johnny Depp did a fusion merge with Adam Beach.

So either one of them would be fine

Donald Sutherland

For the younger me? Harry Connick Jr, but no singing. In my defence, I was prettier back then. The accent's perfect. Now me? Bill Murray, I'm sure, if he can fake a HCJ accent.

If Adam Savage and Russell Brand had a baby, I'd cast that dude to play as me.

Jason Alexander