Tim Walz is my dad

Last time this was posted i almost died but I've got the antibodies this time

Sorry, we're going to have to put you in a blender to make a vaccine. I don't think anyone, including myself, will survive otherwise.
Wait this was posted already? I typed in a couple of the words from the tweet but nothing showed up in "related...".
Dang
- I couldn't tell you when but as someone with a lot of time to browse the internet at work I've seen every post that gets to the first 4 pages.
  I see the tweet was 2 weeks ago so probably like immediately after it got posted to Twitter because some of you comrades really hate yourselves and browse other websites
We ain't reaching herd immunity with this one gents. We ain't all gonna make it

Tim Walz is Goku, Kamala is Princess Zelda, Donald Trump is the Joker, and they're going to have a Yu-Gi-Oh! duel to save democracy. I'm an adult.

Hey, listen.
You didn't need to post that.
Why?
Why did you post it?
Hm... It's too late now to delete it. Now we just have to live with it.
[walks off, to melancholically-strummed guitar chords]
- The mod has been saying this!
Tim Walz plays mono-green, Kamala plays Azorius and Trump plays a rakdos chaos deck. Is this what liberals do in place of political analysis?
- Libs all being EDH players checks out because then they can let someone else win while they try and snatch the win out from under them. Then they can blame someone else for when they still lose. They will deny they play a $5,000 turn 3 format.
  Communism is Vintage and Cube with nice proxies.

Is this real? Or is that person an irony poisoned shitposter?

Edit: oh god, he is an elected official. This is totally real… kill me please.

Either it was deleted by Musk or the dude actually took it down after he got Xitter to laugh at him.
- What a freak either way…

implied extrajudicial beating ~~of a child, by adults,~~ under color of authority

these are the people complaining about "impending fascism" but they have no class analysis so violence to maintain the system doesn't even register for them

No no, they're just going to beat the child's father in front of him. Totally different.
- This doesn't even make any sense, either. Culturally neither of these people would throw a punch. They'll call code enforcement on him because his fence is too close to the easement or something then when he's tearing it out go over to tell him what a shame it was, what a nice fence, who would call code enforcememnt on such a nice fence?
- oops you're right, my mistake
That's a great point. I was laughing at the marvel-brain but the idea that they don't even realize the abuses in their own fantasy is kinda terrifying in it's own way.
- It's funny - chuds are open about their violent fantasies and libs sublimate theirs through parasocial family dynamics.
  It's all sexual pathology deep down.
These people having no understanding of fascism beyond “fascism is when swastika”
- Until the swastika is next to blue and yellow, then it's complicated
- No, no, fascism is when JD Vance bullies ME at the playground, ten-key.
- Fascism is when you break windows which is why auntee fuh is the real fascist.

Benjamin Netanyahu is the neighborhood serial killer who's using aunt Kamala's gun to do a school shooting every day.

A racially motivated one, while we're at it
Grandpa Joe keeps giving weapons to the neighborhood serial killer Benjamin Netanyahu despite everyone begging him to stop. His stockpile of weapons will probably get passed onto Kamala after he is gone, and she's already said she doesn't intend to stop giving him weapons, either.
Mr.Wilson wants settlements.
Kamala keeps leaving a box of 9mm rounds on his doorstep each morning, but says there is nothing she can do to stop the shooting.

This hurts me so much I have half a mind to remove it. But I will be strong

Made the mod cringe, didn't realize this had that kind of power.
- :birdbox:

Why do they always put themselves so close to these people in their fantasies? JD Vance is your bully? Kamala Harris is your aunt (I'm glad they didn't call her Mom - There are enough sad men out there projecting mother issues onto women) and Tim is your dad?

They want to be the child of the main character so bad. Too bad they'll be sacrificed on the altar of capitalism like the rest of us.

It's a TV show. They might as well be talking about The Office.
- Imagine forfeiting the complexity of your own human experience and the relationships within to live in shitty political fan fiction.
There are enough sad men out there projecting mother issues onto women
Thank you Aaron Regunberg for daring to be different by being a sad man projecting your aunt issues onto women.
- Lol, it's probably because he couldn't picture himself being blood- related to a person of color. That would've been too unrealistic.
- I fucking haaaaaaaate this. People do it with the British royal family and I just want to tell them to shut the fuck up Washington should have crossed the Atlantic after the Delaware so he could string that entire group of people up the palace walls. "Harry did this," "Charles did that," I don't fucking care. They're pedophile apologists, racists, and their crimes are deserving of a thousand years in the worst versions of Hell.
  I didn't figure out their actual names are "Winchester" until I was like 22 years old.
Beto O'Rourke is making your calves cramp
I think they're unable to empathize or relate to experiences or conditions of others without relating it to themselves in some sort of way so they can process it properly. Would match with the inability to conduct a proper analysis of class.
These people view media and insert themselves in the narrative as another character. They see themselves as another member of the Fellowship of the Ring, or another cape in the Marvel films like they're Hawkeye's cousin or whatever. It was only a matter of time before it seeped into politics because political media is an edutainment circus at this stage.

DNC on Ice

Oh are we nesting reactionaries now?
Just pairing reactionary economic thinkers with reactionary behavior analysis?
- Had no idea that guy was an "economist" lmao
  Fascist matryoshka but its just a liberal on the outside

Foh with that weak shit. Your parasocial surrogates ain't about to do a fucking to them cept capitulate over and over to these guys even when you get majority seats (will override shit to give military arms though) and bust it wide open like kermit when they threaten a government shut down.

kermit goatse of all fucking things :peltier-laugh:
- He needs a little gold-colored felt ring

I will never forgive you

When will it end?
Who wants to start a gofundme and get this guy into Penguin House?

Even in his fantasy he’s the one being bullied and doesn’t at least stand up for himself.

Idk but i can never ask "how could peopple have just let the holovaust happen?" Again.

Libs love to dream about visiting this sort of (implied) violence on their political enemies

Yet the one time someone actually attempted violence against said enemies, they immediately rallied to the defense of their enemies

Hell they couldn't even be happy when trump caught the virus he spread through his own policies.
Rachel Maddow and the rest, who made their careers off of calling trump a world- ending fascist, wagging their fingers at people hoping for some form of justice will live rent-free in my mind forever.
Like people lost loved ones because of trump's actions and you're not even allowed to be indifferent. Only donate to the DNC and vote.

Kamala is mommy, Tim is daddy, I'm in the middle~

Israel is in the middle.

I pull out my robe and wizard hat.

I pull out my Kamala badge and Walz bat.
- Lmao
- I pull out my kente stole and pussy hat.

Doing this kind of fantasy for your political representatives is of course cringe but I am much more bothered by the way this is written

Hard to figure out why exactly, maybe it's because it's structured like a TV scene with the narrative voice just being inane commentary? Like what does that "this is going to fun" at the end add? It would be better to just end it at the smile.

Cue the Family Guy music.

If you want to play house, do that with consenting adults. I hate how a society raised by low grade media and shitty parents tries to force every other facet of life through their Freudian lens.