Anon sets the mood

Meet woman, don't be weird.
Gradually build a loving, trusting relationship.
She has to get surgery and she'll be bed-bound while she recovers.
"Will you take care of me, Anon?"
Lord of the Rings marathon. The director's cuts. She can't run.

The long setup. "Babe, you agreed to stay in sickness and in health. This is my sickness."
- Narrator: But she didn't stay.
Just do old school style and read her the Silmarillion.
Make sure to get the annotated version.
Return of the King was the first and only movie I've seen that had an intermission. Keep in mind this was only the theatrical version!
- Then go see 2001 A Space Odyssey. Wait until the IMAX release comes around.

Anon needs Jellyfin.

I prefer NGINX with autoindex. Lightweight, no JavaScript, looks like every Linux ISO mirror, filenames already have all the required info, can be quickly searched with CTRL+F, fits perfectly to my laziness.
If you want some improvement, you can use FancyIndex module.
But the files need to be in codecs supported by your browser(s). I prefer AV1+Opus in WebM container which have been supported by Firefox for a while. At this point it's really only Safari not fully supporting AV1 because it relies on hardware decoding and Apple wants you to buy new hardware.
- Sorry, your favorite media server is just files you play on a browser?
  I mean, not shaming, I just had never heard of that being preferable to Plex/Emby/Jellyfin.
- That's absolutely ridiculous. I'm into it.
- The biggest issue with that is it requires all of your media to be in a flat folder for search to work right.
  Auto index has a mode to return results in json. With a touch of html and js you can make a page that will crawl the directory tree and build a simple searchable cache of name to path, and then you can play it from there. It ends up making a request per folder, but in realistic terms it's not gonna be enough to actually be noticable.
  You can then use something like this on a cron to convert anything your browser can't play and you're pretty close to a minimalist media server with only static files.
  The one I used to use was just a bash script so I didn't have to wrangle python modules, but I can't seem to find it.
  I ended up dropping it when I bought a nas with all that stuff built in and it generally made my life easier. Worth the money if you can afford it.
- Do you just remember where you are in every show (or movie that you only partway watched)? That's the biggest appeal of jellyfin/plex to me, so I can go in and continue from where I left off without keeping track.

Amateur. You set this up ahead of time.

When you're torrenting and you're planning to watch with someone else, you decide what you're watching at least eight hours in advance, preferably a day. Radarr can't find stuff instantaneously, assuming the automated search finds it at all, and torrents can take hours to finish, plus leaving time to resolve technical mishaps with your *arr stack, like the VPN being dead. If you and the person you wanna watch with aren't going to be in the same room, you'll have to set aside even longer in order to transcode it into a format a browser can play at a bitrate that's low enough to stream, and load it into your HTTP server so that Cytube can play it. Ideally you'd block out some time to test and troubleshoot Cytube too.
- I have none of these issues, but I use Usenet soo...
  Honestly though if push comes to shove Stremio and RealDebrid can work wonders provided your internet is actually fast enough.
- Or just have a VPN on and go to fmovies or whatever to stream it for free since you're already on a laptop with connection anyways.
- This is a great example of why Netflix is still so profitable.
- Most popular movies have enough seeders to finish in 20 minutes where I live.
  But if I were in OP's shoes, I would just turn to streaming and forego the slightly better quality.
  The movie isn't the most important thing at that point.

Yeah my ex wife initially made fun of my server with my Plex media on it...

Guess what she wanted after our divorce? That's right Plex.

If she scoffs at your media setup she's wrong for you.

My ex told me she never ever wanted to talk to me ever again, ever!
Next week she texted me asking access my plex server.

torrent ahead of time?

anon is a dumbfuck.

You can also press one button to configure a torrent to download first and last, allowing you to play a video while it streams in.
Anon can’t even torrent right, she just got scared that he’d be too stupid to put on the condom right.

Mate, don't be weird. Torrent the movie you wanna watch before your girl gets there. Put it in your plex library and boot up Plex on your xbox. Easy peasy. You don't have to be weird about it.

If she's not excited to see the download bar move, she's not getting invited back.

This is why you have a server running jellyfin qbittorent, Jackett, sonarr, radarr, all behind a good VPN.

Anon is obviously a noob and deserves the walkout.

do you know of any good guides that explain how to set up a full stack like this? I've been meaning to level up my movie watching game but don't know how these services interact with each other
- No sorry, I did it all manually with my own custom docker setup. I'm sure there are guides out there though.
- The servarr wiki has guides for seeing up each of the services
The iPad with VLC works great for portability too.
- But that means you use a Apple device so you are a noob and deserve the walkout.
Jellyfin > plex?
- FOSS always > everything else.
Idk, i just run kodi and the crew. It has never failed me.

What's with the "ooga booga woman scared by tech" meme? Like, people have been torrenting for ages, it's not like it's underground.

And just have it downloaded? "Hey, wanna come over and watch ____? Yes? Cool, see you then." Then start the download. If it's popular, you'll have the file in, like, 10 minutes. And if she's that "confused" by an hdmi cable (which is an extremely common cable these days, but whatever), put it on a flash drive and plug that in. And if someone is interested, I can't imagine setting something up would make them leave? "Oh gosh, he had a laptop and a... A cable, you say? Well golly gee, I should run away from this fringe tech afficionado because who does that???"

I don't know why some guys act like tech just washed over women. We were there sailing the same high seas as the rest of ya'll.

"What do you mean the movie will come from the laptop?" Boy, bye

I like your comment because it tells me why I didn't found this that much funny.
- I thought it was supposed to be an old person confused
I'm choosing to interpret it as her getting skeeved out over anon not having their shit together.
not downloading the movie in advance
not knowing about the "download in sequential order" option on the client that lets you start watching quickly
- That makes more sense 🤔 Guess jokes on me for assuming it was the other way lmao
Tech literacy has peaked hard with millenials.
Don't think it is about women being scared by tech, but "normies" only really knowing how to use Netflix to watch a movie.
- Although that may be true the 'normies' I've spoken with about this aren't necessarily stupid. They may just not have it on the radar because it's not their interest, some show interest in how it works and at worst I've found they say oh that's interesting it's pirating right? And that's it.
  My coworker is super non tech savvy and has no interest and even she just says 'it flies over my head but I trust you to get it done'.
  4channers now a days aren't even good at making up lies/making shit posts. All they can do is low level rage bait. Pathetic.
In the post the woman is not the butt of the joke for being tech illiterate (and I'd argue they aren't presented as that), the joke is on Anon for insisting on using free/techy stuff rather than costly but convenient things and ruining the vibe of the evening. This could just as easily say "Anon, why are you still fiddling with the picture settings? It looks fine. Motion blur? I don't know what that is. It looks fine. Just watch the movie."

It's Usenet babe. Get this... it's been around since 1980! Isn't that wild, babe? It just goes to show, if a distribution system isn't broke, don't fix it.

Hahah I was gonna come mention Usenet but glad you already did.
A month ago I was frustrated waiting on some torrent and decided to finally give Usenet a try. All I gotta say is - why didn't I do this switch years ago???
- Because they usually cost money
- Shit goes missing after like a year
- How do you get a provider though?

My family has learned not to ask questions, just tell me the name of the movie or TV show in signal, and Ill let you know when its on plex.

I know they dont understand. I see their glassy eyes staring past me if the compel me to explain. 'But who puts it there, and what motivates them?' they ask. They do not see the irrationally of their line of inquiry.

But they have learned now. No questions, no complaints, just leave me a muffin when I've done a good job.

Muffins for the showfinder!
https://overseerr.dev/
I set up ombi for requests, linked it into all the *arr's and automated it to hell.
I log in, click a button to approve it, let the system work for a bit and the system updates me by web hook to say it's done, as it's publishing the content on Plex.
It all sits behind a pfsense system running a VPN service. So everything is automatic.
It's barely an inconvenience.

She just got filtered. Another successful test by anon.

This test is gonna filter out any girl who's smart enough to use Plex with her xbox

Girl is super geeky, she's just mad at him for running his laptop on the TV instead of using Plex to watch torrents from his xbox like a normal person.
- A normal person would install the client on the TV, Xbox is not needed in this chain.

Once I was with a girl and taking too long to get a torrent going so she whips out her phone and does it herself. Safe enough to say that we are together now.

Wow torrenting on a phone. I know it's possible but I always thought it was slow or difficult.
- It might have actually been a streaming site now remembering. She used a vpn to connect to Mainland China, typed some Chinese into a Chinese search engine and found it on a Chinese website.
- On Android, Flud has been good to me over the years even though the ads can get annoying at times. Hopefully it helps you get Linux ISOs on your phone with ease :)
Hot

Mostly what i see is a lack of preparedness. If i had a date over the movie would be downloaded and the TV plugged in a week in advance.

Oh, I'm old and wasn't sure why a person was in their house who wasn't aware that they watched pirated stuff. Being annoyed that everything wasn't set up ahead of time makes sense, but anyone who cares about things being pirated isn't worth dating anyway.

Yarr matey, we be sailin the high seas alone this fine evenin.

Stremio + Torrentio makes this sooo much easier

Stremio + Torrentio
dude! Thanks, finally I can watch Ed, Edd & Eddy
I went from Plex + the arrs to this because I moved and couldn't be bothered to set it up again.

That was a close save! I wouldn’t fuck a blind consumer with your dick…

But how about someone else's?

If she doesn't know what a hdmi cable is I'm boiling her into a stew.

Torrent. Phht. Who got the time for that. Sonarr/Radarr/emby(or whichever u prefer) Enter title, wait a minute (unless u r on slow net or prefer 4k remux) and watch. Enter Series-name,go to bed. Enjoy 12 full seasons tomorrow.

Totally hasslefree, no stupid trackers or missing seeder or waiting-time. Movie was posted 10yrs ago? No problem. Still there, still fullspeed. Device not certified for netfucks or rooted? Who cares?

And when your lady asks "why can we watch this, this is not on Netflix" you can reply "what is netflix? I'm a pro"

Sonarr and radarr aren't going to do what you claim without a Usenet client to do the actual downloading. So on top of your *arrs you also have to pick a quality indexer, find and pay for a Usenet provider, and set up your download client. And preferably use a nicer frontend for finding the content a la Overseerr or Ombi. And probably Bazarr to get subtitles for all the anime/foreign language content. Also good luck getting good, consistent releases automatically without some serious dedication to setting up your quality profiles.
- You can set up sonarr/radarr to use torrent clients but it’s more effective with and built for Usenet for sure. But it still works fine with torrents. It’s also not terribly difficult to setup quality profiles if you know basic regex
  My setup does the following: For movies: downloads 4k remux from private trackers first, then Usenet filtered by ideal release groups, then 1080p remux from private trackers, and then Usenet by ideal release groups. If those all fail then I am notified so I can take a look at the releases that are left over
  For tv: pretty similar
  For anime: releases pulled from sneedex when possible. When not AB/nyaa remux preferred, then fall back on BR rip hevc from either those trackers or Usenet via AT.
  Regex to also filter for things like I prefer Dolby vision and atmos audio with my setup whenever possible. I filter for English releases unless it’s a foreign film or anime (refuse dubs, yuck). With anime I filter for common fansub groups like subsplease, commie, etc to ensure a release has subs.
  And jellyseer so that my family and friends don’t have to deal with any of the above and can just type in “movie name”
  It’s not perfect of course mainly because sometimes people upload stuff with bad tagging and file names, but it works well the overwhelming majority of the time and I am able to grab media extremely quickly on gigabit internet. A 4k remux movie downloads in 6-10 mins usually because I have the connection throttled a bit so that my other computers in the house don’t all choke just because a movie started downloading
  Then there’s the other benefits: a komga server with all my books, sheet music, and manga that can be served to my ereader/phones/laptop via mihon or any of the Tachiyomi forks. No need to bother with mangadex or bato, my manga all loads extremely fast, ad free, no watermarks/credit pages and is the highest possible quality.
  I have a navidrome setup for all my music and finamp (I use jellyfin, fuck plex and their snitching). I have a dns server so I can adblock everything in the house, I don’t have to worry about installing extensions and can run adblock on devices that typically can’t run extensions like smart TVs.
  I also now have a significant amount of network storage, over 100tb. My computers all back up to that and the server is archived to tape once a month. I don’t need to bother with google, apple, dropbox, amazon, etc. having copies of my files.
  This all took about 2 days to setup and runs on hardware that’s worth about $150 (minus the drives but you don’t need to start with that much storage). You just need some e waste pc from 2015 or so and the know how, which isn’t that hard to gain. This is all well documented online. The trash guides will get your sonarr/radarr setup 85% of the way there. if you’re like me you’ll diverge from their decisions pretty quickly, but that’s just a matter of modifying the regex a bit and their discord is very active and helpful with questions if you don’t understand something. Plus there are thousands of reddit posts, youtube videos, etc.
  All the software is free (unless you use something like unraid or the premium plex) and a Usenet subscription is dirt cheap if you wait for a major sale like Black Friday, I pay $40/yr for unlimited
- Sure you need those too (except maybe the frontend). Not like it's hard work. And once setup it runs basically forever without tinkering.
  So far rarely had bad luck with inconsistent releases. And considering with how warez were when i started doing warez (before the interwebz), it's super consistent.
  What is yout point even? You seem to use the same?
I wish? That's not my experience, anything that's not superpopular is hard to find. Are you using private trackers?
- It definitely depends on your trackers and how smart sonarr/radarr are with picking a useable torrent. I think 80-90% of the time I don't have to think about it, but there are some shows I've had to really dig for. Private trackers make it way easier
- Rarely use torrents at all. Usenet. Screw upload ratio and that shit. I'm too old for that and i download a tb a month or so 😁
Doesn't this solution require downloading the file, reencoding and then it's available to watch? How do you only need one minute to start watching?
- Doesn't sound to me like they actually understand what they're talking about. Sonarr and Radarr both use trackers to download files from either torrents or usenet. Emby is a media server that displays the downloaded files (like netflix). You don't typically have to reencode what you download.
- reencoding is not required in advance, it happens on the fly if needed.
  download still needs to be completed first usually, but you can save a lot of time if you compromise in quality.
- Sure it needs to download. But i got 10 fibers á 1gbit bundled and a 10gb home network and a good and fast server. So after hitting "search" it'll take around a minute til it's leeched, unpacked, sorted and imported into emby. The last part actually take the longest.
  But speed isn't really the point, it's hit-search-wait-watch. The wait part depends on you.

Switch to streaming and use ad blockers. It will be 720/ 1080p max, though. Most people won't notice. There's a guide/ wiki on a specific lemmy community.

Also, be honest. Your partner might be tech savvy and not be able to afford entertainment as well. Go for it. That's how I found my partner.

Not able to afford?
If there was a reasonably-priced ad-free service you could pay for to get complete shows, many would do it.
But this is a joke: https://www.pokemon.com/us/animation/where-to-watch-pokemon-episodes-movies
- If there was a reasonably-priced ad-free service
  Then I'd still not buy because typical services won't fool me a third time. Reasonably priced ad free were called cable TV and Netflix. Then, each put ads in and hiked prices. The enshitification of Netflix is now common example of the commodification of an IT product or service.
  We created atypical services for reasonably priced ad free content. It now costs me about $120/yr for whatever typical domestic or foreign programming, without ads. For $60/yr it's domestic programming and few hours instead of a few minutes to grab a program. I also donate directly for some streaming content I enjoy, such as agadmator chess, then watch with an ad blocker. Both are reasonably priced and ad free.

Just rename Jellyfin into DisneyFlix++ or whatever.

Or use Kodi with that Netflix skin.

Or just share screen from your phone on TV.
\ You phone is always on VPN to home network, right?

I'll either watch pirated content or nothing at all. Having a bunch of streaming services that you pay out the ass for is a turn off for me because it suggests a lack of financial responsibility. Deal with it.

You do realize there's a middleground there, right?
I buy the content I want and rip it to my NAS to stream to my TV. My total cost is less than streaming services (I don't watch a lot), but I do pay for the content. So the only complication on my network is if my NAS turns off, in which case I'll just walk over and powercycle it and we're good. One great part is that if my internet dies (it seems to go out like once/month), I can still stream whatever, so my setup is better IMO than streaming services.
Subscriptions are for suckers, but that doesn't mean piracy is the only alternative. I only pirate stuff I can't get legally at a reasonable price (e.g. old movies/shows, streaming service exclusives, etc).
Exactly. Couple years ago when everything was on netflix I gladly gave them money but now it feels like every season of every somewhat good show is on a different platform.
- Yup. That's why I cancelled my Disney+ sub (just bought the 3-4 shows my kids watch) and I'm pushing my wife to cancel Netflix. We'd rather not pirate, but I'm not going to keep paying for a sub that either has ads (screw that) or isn't worth the price of content.
  I've been a Netflix sub for ~10 years, and now I'm trying to cancel because their value prop has fallen off a cliff.
Having a bunch of streaming services that you pay out the ass for is a turn off for me because it suggests a lack of financial responsibility
I don't have a problem with people paying for things. I just don't know why people pay for things when they don't actually get freedom from that service in return. It's all DRM-encumbered crap

Anon's gf is a normie

My wife has learned the way of stremio and loves it, there is hope!

Setup Servarr and get all the women

Yeah, I'm poor. Deal with it.

Manual torrenting? Fucking hell, that's some weak ass shit, i have all my shit on my plex/jellyfin server

I've had a lot of different setups over the years on my TV to see if my family (all "what's a computer?" level of computer illiterate) could get the hang of it, and the one that clicked for all of them was Stremio+torrentio. Pop in a debrid service to avoid downtime/buffering issues and they've never complained since.

50 tabs? She dodged a bullet.

Rookie numbers. Real chads have >100.

Similar to a Yellow Canary program based on logic principles

Anon should just get Popcornflix. Or torrent ahead of time.

Anon doesn't know about streaming sites.

One site, no torrents, legally good(so far), and all you need is basic ad-blocks to enjoy a Netflix like experience with a better interface.

She deserved a pirate Chad, and she knew it, he has spaghetti falling out his pockets like a soyjack.

Torrents tend to be more reliable quality; around here, they're both equal in legality/illegality, and you don't have to think about your Internet connection.
The actual trick is having done it earlier, not trying on the couch right beforehand.
- In many places there is a big legal distinction between consuming and distributing copyrighted content, when torrenting you are doing both.
- My favourite has always been Stremio + Real-Debrid
- Torrent is more reliable than paid a services like Prime Video. My wife got pissed watching one of her shows on Prime. It kept on buffering and quality was trash. I torrented the entire season, put up a JellyFin server. She was so happy.
  Tldr: Prime video is trash.