Uuuh, zero traffic deaths makes me so mad

I'll walk out in front of traffic to own the woke moralists

inshallah

Wokeness is when people aren't getting hit by cars

Jordan Peterson would really OWN all of us if he stepped in front of an F350 going 93 mph
- Come on Jordan prove you aren't woke and do it
The longer that a car doesn't annihilate your torso, the woker you are.

getting run over by ford 150 to prove that i'm a real man and not woke

they're not pedestrians, they're temporarily embarrassed monster truck drivers.
- Listen I'm as anti car as they come, but you offer me a monster truck and I will switch sides for as long as I have it

He sure talks like a supervillain a lot.

With his benzo habit, I’m looking forward to him becoming an anti woke SoundCloud rapper with a supervillain Schtick. He can team up with the cosplayer who designed captain ancap.
- JP becoming right wing MF Doom is both so stupid it couldn't ever happen and so stupid it's the only thing that could happen next.
- Who thought the name Captain Ancap was any good in the first place? Say that out out. It's a syllabic palindrome and just feels bad to say and sounds worse. Which is appropriate but like Ancapman. NAPtain Ancap would be at least sorta clever and give him a characteristic.
- "Captain Ancap and Doctor Benzo" would be a good capeshit franchise.

What is the woke death? The fascist progrom?

He just wants truck-kun to send him back to the isekai he thought he was in during the coma

He is lucid dreaming about that cum milking contraption
- Soon.

Car parked on the side of the road will be getting a Netflix stand up special soon

He's more benzo than man now.

"Woke death" sound so much more elegant using the French term: "la petit mort"

Why do so many people like this guy, again?

He gives people really simple, fortune cookie level advice, but he sandwiches it in a bunch of fancy big "academic" words and parables. So his audience likes him because he gives them simple solutions to complex problems and makes them feel smart for thinking that cleaning their room will magically fix all of their issues. He gives people faux confidence, which is why is audience is so rabid and loyal, like any good con artist, he has his audience addicted.
- I've met a casual fan of his IRL and he was a Joe Rogan talker. As in he spoke like he was Joe Rogan doing his podcast IRL, a loooooot of bro dudes do this.
They have very messy rooms.
He told me I was a very strong lobster.
There's a theory that fascists have severely stunted paychosexual development, so they need a strong daddy figure to tell them what to do. Jordan Peterson fulfils the role of surrogate father for some internet losers.

Capitalism is so innovative that it managed to create the world's only fascist mode of transportation - the car.

folks, is it woke to live

Given how the dude put himself into a coma, that technically checks, I guess.
- It's woke to be awake

"Damn people being so Woke! It's not fair! They're far too alert for me to run them over"

JP has been an oil shill for years now. It’s no surprise he’s also big into the pro-car conspiracy theories

Ohhhh the woke death

+
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Bro is definitely still on the good stuff.

Amazon is recommending this dog brain as a “top educational podcast”

What's he even mad at here? Limiting street parking is woke? Why? How? I genuinely don't understand this. It's like seeing a story about changing sewer layout design or something and getting upset about it.

Cars = freedom
Woke = not freedom
Limiting parking = limiting cars = limiting freedom
Limiting freedom = woke
- Unironically this is the reason IMHO
It’s like seeing a story about changing sewer layout design or something and getting upset about it.
In 1900, some shitheads in Poland, with significant help of tsarist okhrana, spun the planned building of sewers in Warsaw (sorely needed as it was almost 700k people city without one) into Jewish conspiracy - title says "Sewers of the city of Warsaw as Judaism and charlatanerie tool to destruction of Polish agriculture and extermination of Slavic population along the Vistula river"
- Fantastic anecdote, thanks.

Not getting killed by cars is woke, and so is reporting on pepple not being killed by cars. But the woke death will soon visit them? So if you don't get killed by cars, you'll die from woke? This is obviously the smartest man ever