Forking heck

I don't know why this is posted as a shitpost. This is just life wisdom. There is a single fork in my drawer that I refuse to use, it's basically like a salad fork, but it's not quiet big enough to be one, but it's too large to be used as a normal fork. I. Hate. That. Fork.

We can't shitpost about life now?
- I'm just joshin my dude. :)
- I'll allow it.
Me too but now I found a good use for it. I have a Kitchen utensils holder and I just put the bad fork there. It's great for tasting., helping ot just holding something while cutting
Just toss it man. You will not miss it.
- But my partner likes the fork. There's the wrinkle. She doesn't seem to have the same disdain for the fork as I do.

I have one fork with extra long tines. Dunno where it came from. But every time I grab it, I'm like "Yo, long boi! Youre not going to stab me this time are you?"

And the long fork does not assure me that its not going to stab me this time, because it does not like to lie.

The way OP highlighted the best fork of them all is absolutely wild and I'm never going to recover

Looks like the worst to me as well.
Different forks for different folks
People who think that is the best fork need to be investigated.
- Beautifully spaced prongs, sleek long handle, no random ridges or engraving to have dirt get caught in. Chef kiss, no notes.
Square handle bases are the worst!

Nope. We got a 12 seating set for our wedding and donated everything else. We've replaced lost/damaged pieces with same ever since, so we have an entirely matching set.

It must feel great to have your life figured out.

Sharp corners and edges, low quality stamping, hard to clean between the prongs and crevices. These are thr things thay make me throw out forks and spoons.

Its not just a fork.

I also have a spoon, a butter knife, and a steak knife, that I all hate for no reason, that I actively put back if I accidentally grab them to get something else.

I hate them so much that I will just skip eating if thats all in the drawer and I dont feel like doing dishes.

Maybe its time to let go
- Suicide is a bit of an overreaction

We have some forks which are made out of really thin tin you can bend them very easily. I hate those forks. No one uses them. I wish they would take the hint and fork off, instead they hang around trying to blend in with the better cutlery and get picked by accident.

Forkget about it

Yup

The good fork is thick and has fancy engravings. It came with the random shit in the house.

The bad fork has a scrape on the prong. You sometimes feel it's shameful failings across your tung. It makes the plastic disposables feel fancy.

Used to have a spoon like this, but I’ve since replaced all my silverware with matching pieces 😌 which is amazing btw

We did the same too. They're also black, which is awesome.

I love how almost everyone in this thread seems to not have a cutlery set. Including me! I can't be bothered with that shit, there's better uses for my time and money.

I love you hated fork

It's more fun that way.
I just checked Ikea's website and they have cutlery sets on clearance for <$2. Theres plenty at various price points, and only the most expensive get over $20.
I understand different people are in different situations. There have been times in my life when $20 was a big expense. I also don't like throwing out good stuff to buy new stuff. But to me the hassle of dealing with the one bad fork isn't worth messing around with - either toss it or put it in the junk drawer as a non-food instrument and buy new ones of you get low.
- Well, the thing is also that among the selection there's forks I love, it's a domestic adventure!

I'm this way with a spoon. I call it the dingus spoon. Hate it.

At age 35 you should be considering throwing out (well, donating) the misc silverware for a matching set, I think. This was more of an issue in my 20s when my silverware was all mismatching.

The tines are a changing
For some reason mismatched silverware always bothered me.
It is one of the first things I purchased when I moved out of my parents house, and I've had a complete set of matching silverware since.
...except for one spoon. I have one spoon my great grandmother gave me that I've held onto for over 40 years that doesn't match. That spoon is only used for eating ice cream.
- Yeah, it's funny, I've replaced almost all of my silverware but I still have a couple of spoons that are from the set my parents had when I was growing up. It's an oddly nostalgic thing.

Idk why I keep this fork that's slightly bent and I just sigh then use it.

Every time man, why are the edges so sharp

I hate all forks big enough not to pass for a salad fork

I'm in my mid 40s and many of my cutlery had names. I'm not kidding. There's Mack, the knife. Then there's "gitty", a fork from git. There's "Hulk", my favorite mother-of-Pearl egg spoon (from "spoony god", got it?!?), another fork named "cleetus", another knife called "Aragorn", a huge serving spoon called "Schaffer" (a German thing, from "schaffen", getting it done), an old knife called Emily (cause it's blunt), a fork called "Becki" from Bakelite, it's end of made from it (no dishwasher for Becki, ever), a 2 prong fork called "Chris", from Christopher Pike, the star Trek captain, "butters" the butter knife, "Ichi", the Japanese crazy Sharp straight knife, regularly sharpened on "Neil" and "Kappa", the diamond and the water stone and the list goes on and on. Don't ask about the other stuff, like "Wicket", the electric wok. E-wok. Right. That one. I guess, it became kind of a hobby.

I don't see how people can eat with broken, bent or sharpened tines.

I accidentally bite my food instruments enough that I don't need individual instruments to be unique.

Huh, I can't think of a single time I've accidentally bitten a fork or spoon. I can't even think of a way that it would happen. Now I'm curious if this happens to others?
- I've accidentally bitten a fork but very rarely, every few years maybe. It's not pleasant.
- Never
  Are these people trying to scrape the food off their forks using their teeth instead of lips?!!
- It's rare, but every time it's incredibly unpleasant. It's expecting to bite into a nice soft food, but instead chomping on a piece of metal, praying that you didn't just break a tooth.
  It happened to me a few times one year when I started getting neurological disorder. It stopped once I started paying attention to what I eat, cherishing every bite.

I have a drawer filled with two sets of silverware: a heavy,solid walmart set,and a cheap,thin dollar store set. The dollar store set you look at them funny and they're bent. The walmart set,tho,I believe you could commit homicide with one and it would still be fine. Nice and heavy,good feel in the hands. The dollar store set feels like a child's play set. I despise them but my wife won't let me throw them out. If I have to use the flimsy ones I too will skip a meal,or wash one of the good utensils.

I'm 31 going on 32 and I do have one fork I feel this way towards! Hooray, I'm adulting correctly (for once)!

yeah, if I get that fork by accident I go and get another 😆

Fork it!

Got rid of mine

Butter knives, I hate them all.

Just put it in the butter dish? Are people just not using butter dishes these days?

Besides the "kiddy forks", there's one. There's also one spoon that I always use. If it's dirty, I'll clean it first

My mom's house was like this. When we inherited my grandma's nicely molded and weighted set she just put them all in the drawer together with the cheap but decent set we already had. She then went and added a cheap amazon stamped sheet metal set, which was painted black so it didn't even match a little bit, on top of it all.

Drove me nuts until I could finally move out and buy a single cohesive set for my drawer.

When I moved in w my gf the only forks in the house were 2 forks of the same kind and I hated them, so I went to the dollar store and bought a fork that didn't suck, and when she asked me why I had to tell her of the loathing I carried for her utensils. She just shook her head but a few years later yet another fork appeared in the house (which I also don't like, but don't actively detest), so I can only conclude that she must've not thought too much of her forks in the first place. Plus she occasionally uses my dollar store fork. I may not have much in the way of taste but clearly I'm doing OK in the fork game.

all my forks are like that, I hate the smaller ones

I only like the smaller ones and hate the bigger ones
Really?? Wanna trade because I can't stand the big forks. Like why are they so large? I don't want to consume my entire meal in a single bite.

Mine is a knife from a different set than the others.

Forks where the back half is heavier then the front half give me so much rage. Why my fork keep falling off my plate???

But it becomes perfectly balanced when your holding food in it
- But when it has food on it, you hold the fork in your hand and thus can ignore imbalance

We have two kinds: long and narrow fork and a short and wide fork. I always swap the narrow for the wide.

I also have a thing with the plates. I really don't like using the ones that don't have a design on them. There's just something off about using a blank plate.

Then why not get rid of them?
- My wife can still use them. She's normal.
- Brain: No its still good.
  Me: But I hate it. I never use it. Im going to throw it away.
  Brain: No dont!

I feel seen!

Apart from the pleasant one on the left, they're all the worst. The 4th from the right is almost good, but then you notice the creepy-as-fuck centre tine-gap length.

This man forks

For me, I had two sets of silverware and then two stray forks that I'd no clue from whence they came. Once I had them, though, every fork from the actual sets became the one I didn't want to use.

There are some identical forks that I will wash one to eat with if I have to.

I have a spoon that's not weighted properly and it pisses me off.

Throw it in the garbage /lifehack

Chopsticks are superior anyways

It's much harder to cut a steak with chopsticks.
- You cross the chopsticks like an X and use it like scissors.
  But either way I wouldn't use just a fork, I'd use a knife too.
For sushi and literally nothing else
- For most Asian food, noodle dishes in particular.
- Eating chips/popcorn without getting dust on your fingers. For stabbing if it's something thick or you can cross them like an X to use them as makeshift scissors. They're just lightweight tongs and their precision allows for a range from a single grain of rice to an entire steak. It's just a matter of mastery.
  As a bonus they're wooden so they don't ruin my cookware when I scrape. You see wooden spoons but rarely wooden forks.