We'd like to welcome our newest Student to Hogwarts, Hun-Gary Mc'Spud.

Frenchy McPistols

Cause I'm American but my ancestors are from France

But I'm trans so I'm sure there would be a dick joke or she could be slightly tasteful and give me the middle name Elagabalus

There wouldn't be a dick joke. You'd be a disgusting monster, preying on children and murdering people, and you'd be portrayed as the ugliest and fattest human ever. Wearing a beret and eating baguette, to subtly hint at your frenchiness. Because J.D. Rowingboat hates trans people so much, she's willing to enter alliances with self proclaimed fascists.
- Yeah, why do the brits equate fat with evil so damn much?

I'm your average white american so Teddy Gunsight

At first I missread this as Teddy Gunshit und feel that ain't half bad 😎

cracker bongcloud

Asian Invasion.

Nia Nubia

I'm a little embarrassed about how many of these, if not for the thread, sound like believable names to me. Mayhaps I'm not as cultured as I would like to think.

I'm white northern European ancestry and born in the States but based on my orientation it would probably be Freddy McCocksucker or something.

I'm white so she wouldn't base my name on ethnicity, she'd probably go with Tr*nny Girlman

Her trans character in Hogwarts Legacy was Sirona Ryan so you’re not that far off.
- literally came to comments to say Sirona Ryan, lol
- I don’t get it
she actually did that for the "trans" character in the Hogwarts game.
Sirona Ryan. I shit you not.
- I'm not native English and I don't know enough gay lingo. What's wrong with Sirona Ryan? Need answers so I can laugh with you guys
Tranny Girlman the abused and hated house elf, that everyone thinks is weird and creepy because (and this is always mentioned when Rolling writes about T.G.) HE wears a dress and makes everyone uncomfortable.
A little on the nose like Ron Weasly's dirt.
Trinny sounds like a cool name though
Or Amanda Richardson
😂😂😂

Paddy McCarbombing

From the POOREST family in the entire land and always dirty

Tequitaco Sanchez

Ching Chong

Pretty sure that is already a Harry Potter character.
i mean she wasn't far off when she named the Asian character. Cho Chang if you didn't know (yeah it doesn't even make sense). clearly named so only because she knew they would never publish that name.
- I never associated Cho with a ching Chong China man.

Fuckterfs Fuckrowling

Here son, drink this, it'll help. A potion of mother's milk.

Jean Luc Baguette

Captain of the starship Frenchie
- Frencherprise

Harald Töpfer.

Adalbert Taumeltor

Crooknose Goldhorde the goblin

You'd be a banker at gringots i suppose?
- Are you suggesting that she coded the greedy, big-nosed subhuman bankers based on antisemitic stereotypes?
i almost choked on my food reading this

Y'all out here propagating some covert data mining

That's pretty clever, but luckily for me it's just a shit post
- That's what a fed would say! And someone that's not a fed would say!

Gunther Eagleman

That ones good, your wand is a Smith & Wesson Governor. Good luck young wizard!

Klaus Schnitzel

Though later someone will mention he changed his name from Hitler

Are you by any chance related to the Düsseldorf Schnitzelnazis? If so, how's aunt Frieda?

Kimchi Chong

Cuntious Goonbag

Giovanni Espresso

Or this https://youtu.be/5MS_Fczs_98

Tory Whiteman

Red Eaglefeather. Obvs

Eagel Redman or Red Firewater xD

Heinrich Himmler? I don't know, I don't like J.B. Bowlingball

Adie Goosestep
- Göring Rolling

Whitey McCracker

Miguel Ibáñez de todos Los Santos.

When he’s not sleeping cause siesta, he is playing in a flamenco band.

Rakija Drinković. And they would constantly be drunk.

Wow, what a fun way to give a data point about yourself to attach to a public profile already connected to your IP address and potentially your email as well. Cool!

User name does not check out.
- It's not out of fear, it's a conscientious objection. To the normalisation of the erasure of privacy and personal agency in an online space that exists to control our behaviour brokered by algorithms incentivised to expand human suffering for profit.
  Or, you know some other gay shit....
Also this guy: "I'm Canadian"
- Am I?

Andrew Redskin

Tina Cracker.

Vladimir Vodkovich

Zulu Safari

Hirohito Kawasaki

Panda Li Chien

Fernandez Fiesta

This guy collecting ethnicities like it's bingo.

Stroopwaffel van Klompmill.

Pasta Italianman

Or Italia Pastaman

Maybe Peppino Mafiera

Peppino Mafiera
In going to start using this as my Rusty Shakleford

Hans Wurst

Wait until you see Hans Best!
I love this, because a "Hans worst" in dutch is someone incompetent and useless.
- Same in German (that's the joke ;)

Downvote away, but fuck this bitch and even invoking her name in any way but to call for her removal from (take your pick)

Okay Lezzy Splitlove (tried to think of what she'd call you in another dumb drunk tweet)

Wyatt Yankstrash

Johnny Canuck

Fun game. Hmm. Poutine van der Windmill.

Nobody does anti Dutch racism quite like the English. Comes of them being conquered by William of Orange back in the day.

sorry but that has to be Win der Mill
- Have to capture the Dutch-Canadian.
There are two things in the world I can't stand: people who are intolerant of other people's cultures... and the Dutch.
Nobody does anti Dutch racism quite like the English.
Really? I don't know many Brits who have a bad opinion of the Dutch. I certainly don't; I've never met a Dutch person I didn't like.
Comes of them being conquered by William of Orange back in the day.
Billy the who now?
- The Anglo-Dutch wars. William of Orange landed troops in London in 1688 and took the throne with Mary II. It's more complicated than that, but it was a whole Thing. Charles II died, leaving James II in charge, but Catholicism was on the way out, and conveniently, William of Orange, a Protestant, was married to Mary II.
  The undercurrent of anti-Dutch sentiment started back then still has remnants in the language. See "going Dutch" "Dutch courage" "Dutch treat" "Dutch uncle". :)
  I'm mostly teasing. It's more funny than serious.