If I had less to lose, dude. (I'm already on a list, I'm not worried)

nah dude 30 feet of water that'll flood everest and shit

they don't make em like they used to

good thing too, but those were fun to drive

if the internet has taught me anything and it hasn't, you can't properly contain bamboo

You can't secure a spaceship against a cat; they can walk through walls.

dude tell your uncle to stop fucking toasters

I had a cat name Snowball Garfield, she died! She died!

did it drink the other one?

Why is there only one wolf

Bouncy bouncy

Write the robbery note on the sock, then go nuts after showing it to the teller?

Why don't Americans simply not have a larger toddler eat this trigger happy rugrat?

I just want mariachi band to play Y Los Cielos on the other side of the door when I'm trying to squeeze out a really tough one, but that would be rude to them and those years are past.

If they bring a mariachi band I'm sold

That's it momma and I are going for a long train ride

Theoden: "You could have gotten a mule."

This isn't the bong you're looking for

Wife swap

Hm. I cast the seventh level spell Inflammatory Bowel Disease

And he has a beard you could have gotten lost in if it hadn't been wrapped around a tree