A Bluecheck's Guide to Surviving NYC

I love how Chuds are terrified of cities

Like their brains are constantly going why would people live somewhere where you were constantly being mugged and stabbed? Why don't more people live where it's a thirty minute drive to the nearest gas station and your neighbor can ruin the water table for generations because he didn't take care of his septic tank?

And those places have the highest rates of murder and interpersonal violence! By a fairly large margin.

Never stop moving. Do not eat or drink unless you are also moving

i wish that i could fear and quake like a shark does
i'd go to the city
and i'd whine, cry, and piss, and shake
at the made up horrors
of course, i believe all the lies blue checks make

Puts on They Live sunglasses

I'm scared of black people

I moved to one of the lowest income areas in my city this year, and heard all the horror stories about it before and after the move from all the people who have never lived in here

This is one of the most peaceful places I've lived in, with the added benefit of not seeing middle class dipshits on my way to work or the grocery store

It's also one of the most left-leaning areas in every election, and the antifa and anarchist stickers everywhere make me feel at home

I'm thinking of making up more horror stories just to keep middle class libs away

Fire a blank every so often to keep your rent down.
- I'd actually consider that, but many of my neighbors are retirees and I don't want to scare them
  I'll have to settle on looking like a bum and spreading anti-cop stickers

New York City

San Francisco

            Freaking out centrists

It's funny how SF gets so much smoke when Oakland is right beside it and has infinitely more violent crimes, gang activity, and far left activism
- At least 30% of chuds probably don’t know that Oakland exists
  SF and Palo Alto/San Mateo area are where all the techbros live so that’s where the crime wave copaganda stories are aimed towards (techbros eat that shit up)
- Oakland has got to be one of my favorite cities in the USA. Tons of radicalism, great food, cool people, fun music scene, somewhat bikeable (public transit not bad by American standards, could still use a lot of love), open space pretty accessible. And just enough of a reputation for crime to keep our some of the worst tech, ngo etc types. Disclaimer: I have worked and visited the city extensively،but never lived there. This post is mostly aspirational, if I didn't live where I live, I would want to live in Oakland probably
- To be fair they probably just include Oakland as part of SF

I have fucking severe social anxiety and I'm not as pants-shittingly scared of large cities as this loser. I once walked home two miles through fucking skid row to get back to my car from a concert at 1 AM. A cop slowed down and told me I should get an Uber and I waved him off because I was too broke to afford one.

I mean, you survived an encounter with a violent thug
- They didn't even leave the car, for a second I thought they were gonna offer me a ride but they just rolled up the window and kept on driving
  Protect and serve lol

NYC actually has a lower homicide rate than the national average. It's literally one of the safest big cities in the US. But I guess chuds shit themselves because it's the biggest and most racially diverse?

I take the train there a few times a year because it's close, and my dad always swears I'm gonna get mugged and shot one day because he always sees horror stories on the news? Like no shit some stuff happens in a gigantic densely populated metropolis. There's around 400 annual murders in a city of 9 million people, I'm literally safer there than I am visiting him. No getting through to boomer brain

People can't wrap their head around per capita statistics and it's fucking maddening.
- Also, middle class people have this weird tendency of thinking some random poor person is just gonna impulsively mug and kill them in the streets. Meanwhile most violent crime (e.g. like 90% of murders) are perpetrated by someone you know
- It’s funny how when you call them out on this they revert to rhetoric they would normally call feels over reals/sjw speak in other contexts “stop trying to use numbers to ignore peoples lived experiences blah blah blah”
- Being able to take public transport instead of driving probably increases your expected lifespan by at least half a year statistically.
I’ve taken the train in nyc several times a week for years (outside of Manhattan) and I’m fine. I’ve seen “crazy” people but I’ve never felt like I was about to be attacked once. That doesn’t mean I don’t practice “street smarts” and I avoid looking like a mark but cmon these people are fucking cowards and it’s all about them being afraid of black people.
Of course even if I wasn’t fine that would still be a stupidly unreliable way to tell if something’s dangerous or not because anecdotes over data is their whole thing
- a ton of people (especially americans) immediately see someone they deem "crazy" (it can vary from someone actually having mental health problems to someone just simply acting differently from them) and immediately think they're in danger. i really don't understand this phenomena. i encounter tons of people acting strange in public and not once felt like my own life was in danger. people really need to learn to mind their own business, a lot of good can come of it.
- What does looking like a mark entail?

If you are spotted by a gang member, observe closely to try and identify the gang.
If they are a member of the Crips, spread your arms out to make yourself seem large, or bang pots and pans together. They will become confused and intimidated and wander off.
Do not attempt this with the Bloods. They cannot be intimidated. Slowly lay your wallet on the ground between you and back away while maintaining eye contact.
DO NOT turn your back to them, as they will see this as an invitation to play the Knockout Game.

My EDC now includes ultralight titanium gang pots and pans
What do these crackers think the Crips will think if they wore red? "Oh shit, the Bloods just hired IT Support!"

jesus christ, how are these "people" so scared of everything? so scared of having to interact with your community?

I went as a fat cracker australian tourist and it was this easy:

land domestic flight
catch train to brooklyn, ride train like normal person while literally carrying suitcases and backpack
stumble into random building in darkness to find accomodation
wake up, google closest atm/bank
withdraw literally hundreds of dollars on the street because you need to carry cash in your shithole country
put cash in wallet like a normal person
buy bagel
get drunk
wear small day backpack for 5 days straight to carry water and snax
buy deli sandwich
buy the guy next to me a beer at WWE raw in MSG because he was cool and didn't smell (particularly notable for wrestling fans)
get drunk
ride subway a few more times
give unhoused dude a 20 because i was actually forced to carry cash
leave

ezpz, get good chinless chuds lmao

jesus christ, how are these "people" so scared of everything?
- As a Jew, I can confirm this. While I was smart enough to keep quiet about my Jewish heritage growing up, I was still very much an outcast in high school and I remember talking with an uncle's neighbor about how I would love to live in NYC and he mentioned that cities are for "freaks and elitists" (Not only am I smart enough to know 'elitst' is codword for something else, but you're NOT being an elitist by looking down on nonconformists) and "we'll teach you how to be a real man here in the country."
  One of these days I'm going to GTFO and live somewhere with my fellow weirdos, and I don't care if I'm broke in the process.
Never been to NYC but my experience in USA is that there is 0 sense of community anymore on the streets/public transit. Even Canada is much better
So many people think like the tweet where even if you try, they'll think you're a scammer or some nutcase and just look at you weird/ignore you
- I've visited New York and Long Island before, but outside of Hawai'i. In my experience, the sense of community there is as good as it gets in the US.
  It's a shame property values are so high there, because I would have gotten myself a 1-bedroom apartment there the NANOSECOND I graduated college instead of wasting half of my 20s rotting in a conservative rural/suburban shithole.
I like your style

I’ll be honest, I despise New York City, not because I’m scared of crime (it felt incredibly safe to me), but because large parts of it aren’t a city, but are instead a series of obscene temples of capitalism

Now, full admission this was as a tourist so I had a very distorted exposure to the city. But like, everything was insanely expensive, everyone I met was some rich boomer or millennials who were mostly cool but clearly squeezed into a constantly hustling lifestyle just to stay afloat. I have a really strong memory of waiting in a line behind some older women bitching about “that asshole” (talking about trump), but then ending with “he’s been great for my investments though” and it just really exemplified American liberalism to me

I can see why one would think that visiting, and yes, there are large parts of Manhattan especially that are exactly what you're describing, but it's still a very small part of what goes on there. It's expensive, but it's also very diverse and working class.
- Oh I totally believe that, I was only there for a very short time and did stereotypical tourist stuff which gives a super skewed experience. I will say the museums were great, and food options were amazing and totally possible to find affordable options if you were even slightly adventurous.
  The wealth disparity was shocking though, and it was strange to me to see such an established city that still fully depended on migrant labour for its basic functioning if that makes sense?
  Also Times Square is a portal to hell and no one should go there. We were warned by a local but went anyway and it was worse than I imagined

the 24 hour news cycle has been incredibly corrosive. One murder will convince people that society is collapsing in to barbarism and the purge is real, meanwhile the murder rate is at it's lowest in decades.

this isn't just bluecheck, it's the author of those over-saturated conservative comics

These people will see a poor person or a black person and say they survived a gang war. They shit their pants from seeing any poverty at all, but not in the good way where they wanna do something about it. They want little bubble lived

I remember someone saying on twitter, I think, that americans think america is the greatest country on earth while simultaneously believing that cities are literal war zones filled with berserker zombies out for blood.

It's easy for them to reconcile their contradictions by justifying those places as not "real" America.
Double think is their baseline for everything. Hilary was a senile old fool who had no idea how to send emails AND a ruthless crime boss who'd killed dozens of people. Obama was a lazy fool AND worked 24-7 to destroy America. Immigrants are on welfare AND stealing jobs.

Isn't New York one of the richest and safest cities in the world? Like wtf is this tweet going on about?

I think it's racism mostly. Libs and chuds can't fathom a city where white people aren't the majority being safe. Even though it objectively is.
The safest large cities in the world (at least in terms of random stochastic crime) are probably all in East Asia. In many places in Japan and China (idk about Korea) it's pretty common to leave phones and other valuables at cafe tables unattended while the owner uses the toilet or gets their drink.
- NYC is a controlled risk, like going ziplining. You know you're unlikely to face real danger but the imagined risk is what makes it thrilling to the tourists.

Terminal local news brain

My only observation about NYC was just walk at a decent pace. Don't amble. People got places to be. I enjoyed my visit immensely.

eyyyy im walkin hea

honestly new york city is one of the richest places in the world so this is hilarious. if anything it's sort of why NYC sucks now it's basically just all of the most annoying suburban upper middle class losers from everyone's high school living on top of eachother. I don't see the appeal it has for people other than "look pretty"

Mass transit
- meh, philly and chicago basically have a similar amount of transit coverage per capita (im not being super scientific here but you get what I mean) and have real people living in them and not just software engineers that are too snubby for LA
literal center of the universe
- for people that want to spend 30$ on bespoke chicken sandwiches
Metropolitan aesthetic

Literally the “homer goes to NYC” episode of The Simpsons

Skill issue TBH

As someone who hopes one day to live in a relatively blue city, I fully welcome these lot in spreading horror stories to scare away the CHUDs.

Last thing these (relatively) safe havens need is even HIGHER property values....because even normies can't stand other normies and seem to be attracted by the culture of the very people they chase out of the suburbs.

rule 1: go back to ohio!!!!

Brennan has the correct take on New York

He never misses

Reminds me of this yt short i saw yesterday https://youtube.com/shorts/rX3buvqJfNA

mercedes hood ornament that he makes sure to film
Confused why a convenience store is located somewhere convenient
Scared of the poors #dangerous #crime #13%
beautiful, perfect distilled privileged american
white people when there is a 7/11 in a somewhat low income looking neighborhood
#dangerous #crime
There’s only 2 people in the entire video and they’re both just standing at a 7/11. This is the most American video I’ve ever seen.