Thoughts and prayers for the one patient for whom it actually was a freak accident
Fun fact: If you actually fell and landed on something with enough force to make it's way inside of you the object would quite literally rip your asshole. When it's a true accident, it's very clear due to the blood loss and whatnot
Reminds me of the episode of Seinfeld when Frank gets a pasta statue stuck up his ass
Million-to-one shot, doc!
This sign is bullshit, I accidentally put my prostate massager in my butt all the time, sometimes twice in one day.
You should try doing it on purpose at least once
If i ever get something stuck up my ass while trying to pleasure myself and need medical help to remove it, I will absolutely try to come up with the most convoluted and ridiculous story for how it got there. Not out of embarrasment, but just to give the ER nurses a good laugh.
Again?
Daily
who tf putting a key up there?
Where else can you store them while swimming?
Ah the old prison wallet. Classic.
I work in a ER and can assure you people high on meth put all sorts of crazy shit in their butt.
I heard about a guy once, who was a POW, and his friend wanted him to keep a watch for his son so he shoved it way up there.
The reference for the younger among us.
This sign was made by someone who's never wiped with single-ply before.
...and I got news for you, if someone is trying to get you to pull marbles out their ass, then that's their fetish... Because no one is worried that small marble sized balls won't eventually come out naturally... They're looking to bring attention that they're up there (and possibly to get someone to try to get them out). People are weird.
Given US healthcare, that's gotta be more expensive than a leather fetish.
Speaking from experience? 🤔
Dude, if I have anything up my ass, I'm going to the hospital asap.
"it's going to come out anyway" sounds like Darwin-award last words
I mean, if you cannot pass marbles naturally, you might have other issues a doc should take a look at.
"Million to one shot, doc"
It was a fusilli Jerry
"We are discreet. But we also think it's funny."
I know from first hand experience you can't do it by accident as one time, hung over and showering in the dark in the early morning i got a little dizzy and sat down.
Perfectly meeting my starfish to the shampoo bottle on the floor. It could not have been more on target had i attempted this.
I shot up, seeing stars like for real for only the second time in my life. I wasnt dizzy, I was up and at em' baby. Wooo what a rush! Hurt a lot for a minute. Hard as i sat down I don't think that bottle tip made it a millimeter into my pooper.
So yeah, impossible
The sphincter is one of the few muscles that is contracted by default, and you have to consciously loose. So yeah, unless you have some medical condition, not very likely to get something in by accident
Its different right after anal sex, when your muscles are still relaxed.
... that sign ... they just kept it because it seemed funny after they retrieved it from a pacient.
Wait, why an apple?
Relatively smooth, round and 'filling', comes with a convenient stem to hold on to that definitely won't break on extraction
... I can only assume it's like peanut butter with dogs, but you know, for horses.
Especially if there is already a pizza there - people get rally mad
Exactly, I don't get the appeal.
Egg? What if it cracks?!
Fastest salmonella in the west.
It comes out the way it went in 😂
What if it's fertilized?
Scramble it.
My MMA trainer said it was actually more effective to boof raw eggs than drinking them.
South Park did an entire episode on it, so it must be true.
Missed the opportunity to put a golden watch on that picture.
I know a medical coder that works exclusively with an ER. Oh the stories I've heard...
