2y ago

What's the funniest comment you've seen on Hexbear (or other instances) recently?

My handlers are asking me to tell you not to link/tag the comment or post, to prevent accusations of brigading obviously, but there have been a ton that should be added as new taglines for the site.

The one that prompted this post:

I'm fine with interacting with people of different ideologies and cultures, but I feel like the hexbears mostly just want to harass us "tankies".
Huh? Do you mean "liberals"? Hexbears are the ones liberals and leftcoms call "tankies"
From what I can tell, which so far is decidedly little, everyone is calling everyone tankies.

100 comments

- im so proud to have inspired this quote. all i did was post abt the current status of the Ukrainian counteroffensive. it was a long ass post and there was only ONE part that could remotely be interpreted as “pro-Russia”. it was heavily factual reporting from MoA in which mostly western sources are cited. that didnt stop it from turning into a >400 comment lib struggle session, reality is too real for them
  
  and I dumped the screenshot into the slop trough
  this is teamwork
Is it narcissistic to post my own?
Lib: Basically, every thing wrong with the ccp, every evil, is just western propaganda. They deny the Ughur genocide, tiananmen square, they deny everything and call it western propaganda.
Me: Wow, they really deny that stuff? Do you have any good sources I can throw at them next time I see that?
Lib: Nothing really, they just call it western propoganda. Theres no point.
Me: Maybe some would listen if we showed them strong enough evidence, I mean all that stuff is pretty well documented, right? Aren't there like, pictures or something? At the very least, if we force them to deny strong, reputable sources, it'd make the pitch to defederate stronger.
Lib: It is well documented, they have been shown sources, and they do not care. I really hope they defed from hexbear soon.
Me: I know, I'm just asking you to share them with me so I can use them too next time.
- Please bro there are sources bro you gotta believe me bro
  
  I have a source but she goes to a different school in Canada you wouldn't know her
- Could you include usernames so it’s easier to follow along?
  
  I edited it, does that work?
- That one had me laughing like a maniac on my break at work
- I love that they followed up with a "uh yeah I figured out you were trolling" and then provided WIKIPEDIA as the only source
  
  That was actually another Hexbear playing along with the bit
- Definitely not narcissistic that was a good bit, ~~and not just because it happened in the thread of my comment~~
Communism killed 100 million in Europe alone and 300-400 million in China. Count other parts of the world and the number easily reaches a billion.
This one was a real knee slapper.
- When your fascist anti-communist propaganda does not go far enough and you simply have to out do it.
  
  Vibes based politics at its finest
- communism killed every chinese person
  
  And somehow life expectancy still went up
- Just keep counting, you will eventually hit a trillion.
- Holy shit that 400 million number is literally just the number of births projected to have been prevented by the one-child policy.
That's a good bit we should just start calling everyone tankies
- I usually disagree with tankies, but Marjorie Taylor Greene has a point.
  
  This is the one that got me.
- We'll just use "tankie" the way most use "man", "woman", or "person".
  Examples:
  The firetankies put out the fire in the building.
  The policetankie arrested that guy for a little weed.
  The chairtankie of Lockheed Martin announced record profits.
  
  The Avengers:
  Spider-Tankie
  Bat-Tankie
  Super-Tankie
  Iron-Tankie
  Tankie America
  The Incredible Tankie
  Thor
  Aqua-Tankie
  Hawk-Tankie
  And of course, The Green Tankie.
  
  I think it should be like Smurf where it can be interchanged with any part of a sentence.
  Also, I think TankieSmurf should overthrow PapaSmurf in the next shitty blue troll movie.
  
  semantic satiation but with tankies
  
  The army are tanktankies
- Tankie
  
  Yewelcome
- Tankie is the new gender neutral "dude"
  
  excuse me i'm not a tankie i'm a tankette
- I really want to start calling people "dronies" but I feel like you need to start on hard Obama liberals then spread out from there.
I remember when someone posted the Jordan Peterson fetish tweet, someone just responded with
- There was a recent thread about Hurricane Hilary and one of the comments was just
  
  and I thought it was hilarious.
  
  what the fuck is that hillary emote
easily the funniest comment I've seen on this site in ages
- I knew some of them blahaj.zone people could post.
  Shame about their staff.
  
  I think they made an account here just in case we defed
- @Erika2rsis@lemmy.blahaj.zone pinging you to let you know that your effort is being explicitly recognized, top tier post
  
  @Erika2rsis@lemmy.blahaj.zone
  
  I don't think that she can see your comment?
- holy shit
  
  I support their desire to unleash anthropomorphized communist hyenas upon the world
- That is beautiful posting.
- That part is from the Gianni Cowboy Bebop video “I love the kind of woman that will actually just kill me.” The rest of it seemed original or the reference isn’t familiar.
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sMQpWCNTQw
- I think
  Alright, look at me, deer comrade. Look. at. me.
  ["NY Rush" starts playing out of nowhere]
  Could very easily be an amazing tagline
- my
  is to immortalize this in the site taglines
- @Erika2rsis@lemmy.blahaj.zone pinging you to let you know that your effort is being explicitly recognized, top tier post
  (posted this with my grad account, meant to post this with my hexbear account originally and forgot)
  
  I'm here all day, comrade ❤️
the "people of NATO" thing is still pretty funny
- It really sounds like a slur
- Excuse me we prefer to be called "the NATO'd class"
Someone accused us of downvote brigading and brigading Lemmy dot world.
We do not have downvotes, and we have never been federated with Lemmy dot world
I also hope it's not narcissistic to post my own
in relation to freedom in America vs freedom in "authoritarian countries":
people get arrested during strikes and protests all the time in America. of course, you would justify it as "actually they were breaking Clause 8 of Section 9A so it was against the law and they shouldn't have done it!" without questioning if that law might possibly have been drawn up specifically to punish those people because the government couldn't do it legally before. no, all laws in America come straight out of the Founding Father's dick as a glorious bukkake for us all to share freely, while in tyrannical states like Russia and China, all laws are to be questioned and/or drawn up by the supreme ruler himself because he was really extra totalitarian that day
never try idealism kids, it turns you into this
- bruh you're by far the most valuable poster on hexbear, you've earned the right to quote yourself a little, as a treat
  Death to America
- Issa good un
someone did a copypasta of the liberal saying where soviet soldiers would pick up guns off of dead bodies cause they had none, but with keyboards and hexbear users
too lazy to find, i was cry laughing
- there was also another that was: "a second hexagonal bear has just flown into the blahaj zone"
The one site tagline about someone's so drawing them getting hit by a car driven by their fursona is funny.
There's a new site tagline of a response to UlyssesT that made me actually laugh out loud. Probably because I remember the conversation too, and good ol' Ulysses had me just as
as the person who responded to him. Something about Oppenheimer and booba and I don't know what. Just totally impenetrable posting
- I remember that. They called Karen Oppenheimer 'Booba Waifu' for some reason.
  
  Lol, so good
- I had no idea my comment was a tagline haha
  
  It's a level of accomplishment to which I can only aspire
Ugh. When I was back on Reddit comments like those would always be downvoted to hell.
tank-on-tank violence is at historical lows
I think the other comment has been removed (looks like the dork has been banned), but I laughed uncontrollably at one where the user referenced this and was clearly traumatized by it.
Any variation of the libs reacting in horror when first encountering PPB
man it would be crazy if a link to that comment managed to land in my inbox, it sounds hilarious and I want to look at their account
edit: damn the link really did manage to popup in my inbox, not sure how that happened...
No more half measures walter
Today is your lucky day. Since I'm in a good mood, let's see if you'll put your money where your mouth is.
I will reveal my real name, my PhD thesis, with a link to the university linking to my thesis. Here's the bet: if I can prove it (that I have a PhD in particle physics from a prestigious university of top 10), you pay me one whole fucking bitcoin. If not, I'll pay you one bitcoin.
We'll find a betting platform (of your choice if you wish) where we deposit these bitcoins into a multisig address with a referee. One of us wins based on the bet.
Are you gonna put your money where your mouth is? Or a dick where you learn not to open your mouth next time?
What do you say?
- Every comment this guy made was hilarious, but this was gold
  
  He was a real life Sheldon Cooper. Couldn't believe it
The chain of slurp juice explanation copy pastas that just kept getting longer and increasingly verbose.
i mostly just laugh at the intentionally funny stuff you guys post
lumalo's fucking fash emote just fucking kills me every time
The 'Show me your dick' that was submitted as a (mock?) ban appeal for a lib from another instance that got banned pretty recently was gold, if only in context.
- Yeah yeah lol
Honestly the one that came to mind involves the same user from the same thread which is unfortunately buried in a morass of text block. But a comrade was explaining to them why they disagree with common mischaracterizations of Stalin, and the lemm.ee person responded approvingly, saying they appreciated the nuance in the comrade's representation of Stalin.
I lol'd when comrade replied that it was jarring too hear a self-declared conservative approve of their explanation of Stalin's legacy.
Also, other comrades did great work in politely suggesting further reading, and the .ee poster was open to it and thankful.
I keep thinking about how "Lib" r/cth was back when it started. How the struggle sessions and the desire for learning led us to refine our understandings, filtering out the nonsense, and how long this took, how many of us straight left the community, some to return and some not. It was and can be painful to have your held beliefs challenged and to be negatively implicated in harboring reactionary tendencies. I read another user from on of the defederated instances talking about how the comments that they received from hexbear pushing back against their received wisdom obsessed their thoughts for days (relatable) before they moved on (no you didn't). It's easy and advisable to "not get mad online" but I would be lying if I said I hadn't. I have grown from the uncomfortable interactions I have had in this community over the years (uncomfortable in the sense of challenging my preconceived notions and reflecting poorly on my thinking) even though I have been overwhelmed at times by the intensity the community can sometimes operate on during tumult and struggle sessions, but I come back because we have the best posters, the most caring online community I have encountered (our mutual aid community speaks volumes), and we are by and large willing to challenge our own thinking. The growth of the community (in the intellectual, political, "spiritual" sense) is obvious when you look how far we've come from like 2016 or whatever (I joined r/cth mid 2017). That growth has been hard fought, and while the culture is still that of the "overly online irony poisoned" variety, little remains of the political tenor that characterized r/cth. If the posters from r/cth were transported here by time machine, they would be dunked on as succ dems by their future selves or something. If anything, hexbear seems a closer cousin to r/cth2, which was itself controversial among some users of the original sub.
I am rambling, but it is funny that we went to an online hidey hole and emerged this striking figure which is unfathomable and highly foreign to the reddit brain after only 3 years of breaking away. Reddit cut off the potential of r/cth and it appears what they were thinking about our presence there and it's effect on the broader community were at least partially true. Our engagement was a threat to the western anglosphere thinking that dominates the site, and when they took the sub away many of us fled and stopped posting there. Since r/cth was nuked I have commented only a few times, and it's for stuff like "how do you do this in minecraft?" or something. When the sub was alive I was all over the site engaging with others in political discussions etc. The sub being nuked left a rhetorical and philosophical void, the fallout of which we are now seeing as we attempt to reintegrate.
These other instances have not gone through the same kind of community building and education that defines ours, and I hope that federation is at least successful enough too see the lemmy verse grow, and to have our presence a relevant force in that space as new users are exposed to new ideas. I can already see fellow travelers from other instances who were unaware of our existence previous to federation cautiously dipping their toes in and I for one am here for it.
When @President_Obama@hexbear.net posted ::: spoiler this response
I like it when a cute guy gets a boner and has to try and hide it from me, getting all flustered and embarrassed :top-use-words: and I don't think it counts as sexual attraction E: oh this is c/music
::: when @corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net asked for music hot takes
What a great post, taken down by our tankie mods 😔
- Uhhh, let me be clear. I don't think it counts as sexual attraction because I'd hate this IRL - I'm asexual and aromantic. For some reason thinking about cute, flustered, boys makes me smile. Best of both worlds really, I get to think gay thoughts and don't have to bother with relationships.
- Lmao, back when different thread titles would come up mid-post. So like, 2 months ago.
Huh? Do you mean "liberals"? Hexbears are the ones liberals and leftcoms call "tankies"
If a leftcom ever uses the term 'tankie' unironically I'm going to revoke their armchair

100 comments