I thought this was satire at first π
I thought this was satire at first π
I thought this was satire at first π
I never understood the Cadillac coffin. Can't you just put me in a plywood box and call it a day?
Can't you just put me in a plywood box and call it a day?
they do make cardboard coffins - but they're also expensive (Titan, the company shown in the OP for example, sells one that is $500)
You might as well just try to die in a state that allows natural burials and just dig a hole in advance lol. The real racket is though that most states that do allow green/natural burials, you still have to purchase a plot in some sort of cemetery. I should be able to just bury myself in the woods surrounding the public park
For a couple hundred more dollars, you could get a new refrigerator and bury yourself in the box it came in
I can't afford to purchase a plot to live on AND a plot to die in. Can I just buy the cemetery plot now, and live there until I die? No funeral costs that way too.
In the running for best review I've read, ever...and it's for that casket: "***** My mother, who normally complains about everything, had no complaints and my father said it was the best purchase he ever made." Brilliant execution, layered comedy. Top notch stuff, Peter
Are American gravesites really never reused?
Around here the norm is that gravesites are rented. Usually families will pay to keep the plot for as long as the people who knew the deceased are alive and able to tend to the plot. After that it is allowed to expire and be used for new burials.
Just throw my body out into the woods and give me a stick to beat away the wild animals
I think you may misunderstand funerals quite dramatically
Guarantee you I could build myself a coffin for less than $200
My dad always says to just roll him into a ditch.
see this is why I have instructed my family to use my body in a prank. For example dump me on a train with false identification and a letter incriminating a sitting politician for murdering me
now that's a funeral plan
π€© role model
drumpf is finished
their caskets cost $1200-2000 and probably even more, what an incredible racket
when I go just tie me to a rocket and fire it at tel aviv
I want a viking funeral. By that I mean light my body on fire and yeet it onto a billionaire's yacht.
Just throw me into a ditch.
Bit Idea: Deathbed conversion to Zoroastrianism so they have to feed me to the vultures.
Wait, that's a zoroastrian thing? I can force them to let me get eaten?
Yeah, Zoroastrians practice sky burials, where the bodies are placed on platforms for vultures, who are thought to be messengers from heaven. Joking aside, I think it's a pretty cool and ecologically conscious way to go and I wish it was more common.
If I could a sky burial is how I'd like to be disposed of, but unfortunately both the law and my family are opposed to this idea and I'll be too dead to argue with them. Next best thing would be a natural burial with a tree planted over me, I can't think of a better grave marker than that
When I die, it'll be of something hypertension-related from living in the suburbs. Cremate me and throw my ashes on a car-brained urban planner.
a taken on an old tradition I guess
Ok but Buy now die later is a great slogan
Enshitification is happening faster than anyone couldβve ever imagined
i think charnel houses and ossuaries are fine if you're that sensitive about keeping bones around but coffins are just ridiculous decadence. why the fuck they gotta be so big when when they're going to contain 1/10 of the mass in so many years?
What really irks me about American coffins is how they're made of non-biodegradable materials. Those metal rails are going to stay in the ground forever.
And I don't even know how American-style coffins works in crematoria. They must be removing the deceased and burning them which doesn't seem very dignified. And what are they doing with the coffin afterwards?
And what are they doing with the coffin afterwards?
resale, baby! just kidding you dont purchase a coffin for a cremation, if the corpse is on display beforehand i guess you could rent one
but they dont care about biodegradability that spot is supposed to be the forever trash bin for their corpse till the end times, not for growing things or building over it or nothing
If just 200 of us chip in, we can get $90 coffins from China
Fuckin' Six Feet Under looking ass grift
Was searching for 'walnuts' the other day on Costco's website and it pulled up caskets for sale.
Throw my body into the fire
I need an office chair that looks as comfy as that casket.
Hahaha its someone cleverly using the timing create a product on top of the sub memes and not a real actual company right?
clicks on YT link
This is a ponzi scheme for caskets?
Just make me into Soylent Green (I'll even make it vegan, I consent to my soylent ass to be eaten)
Who says no one pays attention to covid anymore?
The entire funeral industry is incredibly predatory, there are so many scumbags who have no problem trying to upsell grieving families on more expensive caskets, arrangements, services, etc. My family almost fell victim to one of these scummy funeral homes, they had a flashy presentation and everything that always presented the most expensive options first. I'm so thankful that my parents got in touch with a non-profit funeral home that's partnered with their church, they charged a fraction what these profit seeking parasites wanted to and were way more caring and compassionate.
Fuck for profit funeral homes, nothing but parasites that take advantage of people during some of the worst moments of their lives.
I found a YouTube link in your post. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
coffins are reactionary. "ohhh but i need my body for resurrection in the end times." slow down bozo. god can rebuild your body like dr. manhattan.
through god all things are possible, so jot that downgive me the mushroom suit or shoot me out of a cannon
Pull your brains out of your nose with a hook, put all your important organs in some jars full of salt, and stuff your empty chest cavity with natron, THEN I'll start taking that claim of yours half seriously
I just don't understand that reasoning they know coffins rot right? It's like when people refuse to donate organs it's either saving someones life or feeding a worm but someone's getting them off you
asked my pastor about this back in the 90s and he pointed me to some weird scriptures that he interpreted as meaning that bodies got remade into their healthiest state as they were called up to heaven, but they had no blood
Idk what the significance was of "no blood," but I remember that was very important.
(Maybe he thought Jesus was the only person with blood in heaven?)
I wanna get cremated, then have my ashes pressed into a haunted gem
i'm on my yummy soul gem arc
I want a "green burial". No embalming, no coffin, only shroud.