Subscribe now for more clicks!

They missed so many opportunities to make it actually a nightmare. Adding these should help...

Standard plan:

2 DPI settings. (50, 32000)

Premium plan:

3 DPI settings! (50, 100, 32000)
Ad Free!

Pro-gamer plan ($45/mo)

Mouse acceleration toggle
1 customizable DPI settings (more available @ $5/mo each)
Middle mouse click functionality unlocked! (Bound to backspace. Customizable binding @ $2/mo)
AI tooltips to suggest when/where to click next. ($5/Mo to disable)
Cloud backup*

*Requires Internet connection. Mouse falls back to standard plan and settings when not connected. Requires device reboot to re-enable subscription after disconnect.

Edit: formatting

Thanks Satan
This hurts to read.
How long could a mouse take to reboot, Michael? An hour?
No, you can't disable AI, because "people want that" ™
At least this provider gives unlimited free scrolling!
And it will anti cheat a little on the cheap tier when you play games.

This is close enough to reality that I'm irritated.

Close enough? Ma dude, Logitech really wanted to do this shit, but has to backpedal after getting massive flak.
- I didn't believe you so I googled it and you are correct. For fuck sake...
- Quickest way to make me DIY my own mouse.
It's reminding me of the 3rd party utility apps on the Apple Store.
They seem to have ditched "limited features for free" in favour of "nothing at all until you subscribe, first 7 days free"

Do not read aloud from a book that summons demons. Not even as a joke.

Hrm.

Logitech has an idea for a “forever mouse” that requires a subscription

Logitech confirms subscription-based “forever mouse” isn’t happening following backlash

Well, that's the dumbest thing I've read in a while. I have a Trackman from 2004 that's still plugging along, no subscription software updates required. If your stuff isn't shit, it lasts forever anyways.
- I remember back when Logitech was a brand that was known for quality.
- I have a mouse that plugs into a COM port as my 286 doesn't have USB or PS/2. I'm not entirely sure how old it is, but I'd be surprised if it post dates 1990
  Anyway, good luck making a forever mouse when the main cause for replacing mouses is their connector being out dated
My current led mouse has been going for 10 years with no signs of slowing down, so take that sub and stuff it
You know what, I'd be all behind a subscription mouse so long as it includes periodic hardware upgrades and unlimited warranty replacements no questions asked so long as the subscription is paid.
Admittedly, I'd be trying to figure out the most interesting ways to actively destroy mice to make them rue the day they thought a mouse subscription was a good idea, but that's beside the point. Why no, I can't return the damaged mouse, it's at the bottom of a hole in the woods no human has been down since the civil war. Just like it was none of your business how I found out that the mouse isn't resistant to hydrofluoric acid.

It's all fun and games, until it becomes real and people buy it, then all competitors align and it's the new norm.

It’s a meme now. Give it a few years and it’ll be more than a meme.

One man's meme is another monster's inspiration
- Drink a can of Monster to continue clicking
It's not a meme.
- WELP. Can’t say I’m surprised.

your red pixel clicking cartridge has run out. you wont be able to click on any other pixels until you refill your red pixel clicking cartridge.

☹️ but i cant click to subscribe.

You can, but it's 10 cents a click!
Just buy a second mouse. C'mon dude, it's like you're not even trying to pay!
- puts dollar near CD drive
  it actually takes it
  Holy shit.
  I have a CD drive!
You can only click after watching 3 5 11 ads.
Data pack work like that, the page to order the data pack doesn't cost anything to reach.
I would assume that the app would have click working

Oh god oh no I used my last click now I can’t select a plan

Yes you can! Only $0.10 per additional click!
- And how will I click that? Oh, it's automatic! For our convenience!

It's a good thing that market is so saturated that there'd always be a cheap uncomplicated mouse with all your features, unless you're some sort of MMO mouse person.

That said, a company can probably still sell this to the government with enough lobbying. Those chumps love wasting cash on subscriptions they don't need (looking at you, Adobe Cloud).

That's why they'll make it so Windows requires your mouse to have official Microsoft drivers for compatibility.
- Hahaha, Windows, lol.

I can navigate with keyboard shortcuts.

I'm sorry, you are out of keyboard clicks.
- I'll just use my graphics tablet.

Business idea: The mouse manufacturers play the middle man in the click economy. Users can add an extra "click safety" package for $3,99/month, which prevents them from clicking on ads/misleading content. "Good" and "ethical" advertisers can get in touch with the "business communication" office of the mouse manufacturers to buy exception deals, because "their ads are okay"

Living in 2024, I'm not even sure if this is a joke or not. I wouldn't be surprised if there's a subscription for damn oxygen soon. Oh, wait, that's taxes!

It's only partially a joke. I can't remember who but some company was bragging about their subscription based mouse they had in the works.
Edit
- This reads like an onion article. Who's constantly buying new mice? And they're trying to target consumers who "don't have both a mouse and keyboard" by trying to sell them a $200 mouse...
  I've been using the same razer chroma I bought 15 years ago and it's still perfectly fine.
Unless you pay a carbon tax or pay taxes that pay for CCS, taxes aren't supplying air.

idk I've been thinking about getting the standard plan. 10k clicks isn't much, but If i quit Leauge, then I think i can get by. And I can't stand the ad supported basic tier anymore. I can't take one more ad for that crypto exchange

It is often fun choosing to read "clicks" as "dicks" due to how similar they look. Imagin' you getting 10,000's of dicks via LoL every month.
- 10,000 dicks a month from lol is rookie numbers, honestly.

Vim users: entirely unaffected

They won't even see the ad because they can't get out of Vim.
- “I can get out anytime I want, I just like it here” - vim user

How do I click an option when my clicks are already used up? 🤔

Tab over to it and hit Enter
- hits TAB
  New window appears saying I am out of key presses and to select a payment option
The mouse works only in upgrade windows
You need to buy another mouse to achieve it of course.

Is it HP mouse?

The image is of a Logitech MX master. But yes the meme is very HP coded.
- https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2024/07/logitech-has-an-idea-for-a-forever-mouse-thatrequires-a-subscription/
  It's based off a very real Logitech statement.
- The worst thing about this image is that it literally took one of the best mice on the market. Albeit this is a version 1, and no longer being sold.

What will Premium Plus get for me?

is Logitech known for this? Not this exactly, I get that it's a meme, but enshitification in general? I have a Logitech mouse and haven't experienced anything that's particularly money hungry other than the initial pricing and I think a twitch popup or something stupid

Logitech "floated" the idea of subscription mouses (aka: tried to see how bad the market resistance would be). They want to do it so bad.
- the mere process of presenting such an idea to the internet was enough to make me never buy logi-junk again
https://gizmodo.com/logitech-ceo-wants-to-sell-you-a-subscription-based-forever-mouse-2000480678
https://appleinsider.com/articles/24/07/31/logitech-wants-to-sell-you-a-subscription-mouse-some-day/amp/
https://www.tomsguide.com/computing/peripherals/we-need-to-talk-about-logitechs-idea-for-a-computer-mouse-with-a-subscription-fee
https://www.cnet.com/tech/computing/is-the-world-ready-for-a-subscription-based-mouse-logitech-ceo-floats-possibility/
Yeah this was a thing until we "learned" that it was was just a big miss understanding...that Miss was big. To my understanding, they leaked something said during a management meeting where they say it was a hilarious joke... But we all agree it wasn't.

This is why you do what I do and use a trackball.

I've had mine since 2004. I've replaced the cord 3 times, and designed a 3D printed replacement scroll wheel for it. It's still going strong.
- That's some dedication. Respect

move those decimals over one.

Add a free tier and base it around gacha mechanics.

Every now and then there'd be a duck hunt bird flying over your windows and it would stop turning only if clicked. This is accumulative, meaning you being AFK gives you two, three ducks flying over your desktop, up to the arbitrary limit of 255.
- Ah yes and once you've reached max duck you get a 90 second ad for essential oils or you're free to click all the ducks.

Don't give them ideas

Lol Logitech has already tried.
- Wat

I'd just get a mouse that doesn't have this bullshit before paying for this. I'll buy used if needed. I'm not subscribing to a fucking mouse.

I've managed to pay under $20 for all I can click mice. They last more than a year typically. Even with tariffs, I'm getting a chinese mouse, and y'all can f the f off.

I see you're getting a subpar keyboard rate
That honestly sounds like a bad deal. Before recently replacing it, I had a $35 dollar mouse that lasted through 12 years of heavy gaming. Either you are inhumanly rough on your mice, or you might want to spend a little bit more for something quality.

It's not real right???

It was almost a reality https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2024/07/logitech-has-an-idea-for-a-forever-mouse-thatrequires-a-subscription/
- Capitalism breeds innovation right? That's what we're being spoon fed?

I want to know what priority support looks like for a mouse.

Like what questions would you ask? How would they troubleshoot before sending you to tier 3 support?

Enhanced clicks use AI to help predict where you want to move the mouse and pre-clicks it, saving some time and effort .
The elite plan allows game cheats in selected games developed by trusted partners .
Not at all responsible for wrong clicks.
Support helps when there is a noticeable pattern of wrong clicks and refers you to training
the Logitech mouse can change loadouts depending on the game you're playing but it doesn't work for all games (really annoying) so that would be my guess

Nah, I already got the 24,99 family plan that includes 500 premium clicks every month. I just hope they don't follow through with their crackdown on account sharing.

What do those premium clicks do?
- When you click a button it's actually two events, a button down and a button up. That is how you are able to grab something and move it, by clicking and holding and then later releasing.
  Premium clicks include both the button down and button up events. Non-premium clicks are button down only.

I'd like to unironically place this popup on public office laptops in order for users to collect themselves and stop being afraid of touchpads and keyboard commands.

Touchpads are the devil.
- Old ones were absolute cheeks, modern ones are much better, a mouse will always be preferred. Bonus points if it's wired.

Is scrolling extra?

Your post truly disgusted me. I like that.

10000 clicks a month? Man I might do that in a day or 2

Looks like someone is getting the unlimited plan!

Laughs hysterically in XMonad

thats a good deal

We need to reverse engineer this software so it can be used.

The lack of close button makes me believe this is not true.

If the Corsair harpoon was a subscription service. I'd pay for it.