I feel you, green guy.

i thought about having kids, but decided i'm too busy doing whatever i feel like with all my spare time and money
- Insane flex
  
  I don't really think it is. I have a kid, but we felt that way for much of our 20s and into our early 30s.
  People shouldn't have a child until/unless they really want a one. If you never want a child, you should never have one. One of many reasons abortion should always be legal.
  Children should never be abused or neglected.
  
  I didn't think about having kids, I'm asexual and don't like people.
- Kids are absolutely post main story content. You better have your life in order and your aspirations met because you're about to do some serious compromising when you throw a kid in the mix. I think one of the best decisions of my life was to fulfill my needs before having children.
  
  What if you don't have any aspirations?
- Kids? In this climate? No thanks!
  
  Hey, never say never! The climate is changing after all...
- all my spare time and money
  Do you guys have spare time and money :( ?

I can be a backpack while you run
- Seagulls! Stop it now.

Sick of your shit have I become.
- Embrace death, I will.

As a kid, I had a book about a kid always asking "why?" and at some point, aliens came to conquer the earth. While everybody was freaked out, the kid just continued asking "why?". "To exploit earth's resources" "to conquer other words" "to exploit their resources too" "to conquer other galaxies" "to further our rule" "to conquer... well I see now that it's all meaningless and we go home now."
This is a story every child should read and don't ask me why, it just is.
- why?
  
  Allow me to explain it to you in Billy Joel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwSWEJmQgkE
  
  Because people who always ask "why" don't achieve anything. Did you get nothing out of the story above?
- What's the name of the story?
  
  Why are you asking?

Classic parenting trick.
"What? I have to raise a couple of problematic force-sensitive twins as a single mother under a tyrannical dictatorship? Sorry but no. Too sad to live"🤷‍♀️
- I can't imagine how shit life would be having been part of an absolutely useless Jedi Republic which did nothing to stop fascism, and then having to live in a swamp to raise a hero who will actually end up not really being very good at it, long-term.
  Poor Yoda had a shit life, put-upon and thankless.
- The same thing, from the Silmarillion:
  The love of Finwë and Míriel was great and glad, for it began in the Blessed Realm in the Days of Bliss. But in the bearing of her son Míriel was consumed in spirit and body; and after his birth she yearned for release from the labour of living. And when she had named him, she said to Finwë: ‘Never again shall I bear child; for strength that would have nourished the life of many has gone forth into Fëanor.’
  [They try to heal her and even the gods fail at it]
  ‘It is indeed unhappy,’ said Míriel, ‘and I would weep, if I were not so weary. But hold me blameless in this, and in all that may come after.’
  She went then to the gardens of Lórien and lay down to sleep; but though she seemed to sleep, her spirit indeed departed from her body, and passed in silence to the halls of Mandos.
  Translation: This little shit has sucked the life from my soul, peace out.

A puppet I am, Luke. When goes to pee operator does, die I will.

Damn this absolutely hits home. He looks so peaceful. I'm jealous.

Why?
- Go ask your mother.
  
  Why?

that's funny, but trying to answer a kid's questions is both humbling and educational. they ask about things you take for granted, and even as an inquisitive person you might accept some things "just are" without thinking about them until a kid asks you what that's all about.
sometimes you know the answer and it's satisfying.
sometimes you don't and thanks to technology now you can research it together in a way maybe you couldn't when you were a kid and once wondered about it but never learned and maybe you forgot to ask again later.
sometimes you think you know but once you try to explain it you realize that there's lots of holes in your understanding.
sometimes they just tell you something you didn't know because they watch educational kids shows and no one told you that sloths are pretty impressive swimmers.
there's a monologue by a character called Eve in the Love Death and Robots episode Pop Squad that lives rent free in my head. if you're not gonna watch it:
!Ive been alive for 218 years. I've seen... too much. But she makes everything new. I love seeing things through her little eyes. They're so bright. They're so full of life. Not Dead. Like Yours.!<
- Yes, but why?
- And sometimes kids aren't interested in the answers, they just want to annoy you.
  
  I'm not that cynical about little kids. Maybe they sometimes do things that annoy you because they find it funny, not because it's specifically annoying. Surely not annoying to them anyway. idk I find it weird to ascribe malice to a 3-5 year old. in any case, I'm a big guy, I can handle a little kid even if they want to annoy me.

I miss answering my kid’s questions. Teenagers know everything.
- My 14-year-old still asks me lots of questions. Unlike the joke in the meme, I'm actually fine answering them.

- It's a little late for that.
  
  It's never too late to go out for smokes.