the creature washed up on a beach near Hyannis Port, Massachusetts, she said: “[He] ran down to the beach with a chainsaw, cut off the whale’s head and then bungee-corded it to the roof of the family minivan for the five-hour haul back to Mount Kisco, New York.
We might need a different giphy to express further WTF-iness surprise for the subsequent matter of whale blood oozing in through the car windows during the five-hour drive. But I'm not good at picking out memes.
That said if we’re talking less about how awful he is, and more about how absurd his awfulness is, then nothing screams “divorced from the reality of normal people” quite like this quote from his own daughter:
He ran down to the beach with a chainsaw, cut off the whale’s head and then bungee-corded it to the roof of the family minivan for the five-hour haul back to Mount Kisco, New York.
Every time we accelerated on the highway, whale juice would pour into the windows of the car, and it was the rankest thing on the planet. We all had plastic bags over our heads with mouth holes cut out, and people on the highway were giving us the finger, but that was just normal day to day stuff for us.
If even a little of this were true….<insert the words I don’t have to describe my feelings here>
The parasites in his brain create an irresistible urge to capture and devour more parasites in roadkill. I’m not sure how that translates to a legal defense, but I’m betting he can afford lawyers who can figure it out.
“[He] ran down to the beach with a chainsaw, cut off the whale’s head and then bungee-corded it to the roof of the family minivan for the five-hour haul back to Mount Kisco, New York.
“Every time we accelerated on the highway, whale juice would pour into the windows of the car, and it was the rankest thing on the planet. We all had plastic bags over our heads with mouth holes cut out, and people on the highway were giving us the finger, but that was just normal day to day stuff for us.”
That would probably be a waste of taxpayer money, if the fed investigation is even a true claim. The whale was already dead, and it happened years ago.