Basic American etiquette

The gun is on the correct side of the plate for a right hand shooter, but should be laying on it's left side so that it can be picked up from above with the right hand. </s>

This picture is distinctly lacking in ultraprocessed sugary cereal and/or shelf-stable pastries.

One egg!? I'm sorry is this the USSR?

There's not nearly enough butter on that toast, not enough eggs, and where's the sausage? In Florida the breakfast gun goes on the dominant side with the grip out. Once alcohol is served the slide will be locked back. In particularly liberal circles the magazines will also be popped out. We aren't savages.

It used to be, but at this point in history, that's like $300 worth of bacon.

The Breakfast Gun goes on whichever side the diner's firing hand is.

Edits below!

After some discussion and reflection, I agree with @Zachariah@lemmy.world that the Breakfast Gun would indeed go on the left, "to show you plan for a peaceful meal."

Furthermore, presentation of Firearms depends on the level of dining:

At a polite table, guests are expected to lay their Meal Arms down holstered, so as not to soil the table linens. Placing a Meal Arm directly on the tablecloth is a sign of disrespect.

At a formal table, a Firearm Napkin will be provided for each diner. This allows diners to display their Meal Arms openly without soiling the linens.

At a "high table," Meal Arms will be provided by the host. These Arms, while fully functional, are adorned with many engravings and flourishes, as a demonstration of the host's status, and the diner's status as a guest at the table.

Wait … I worry what you heard was, 'Give me a lot of bacon and eggs. ' What I said was, give me all the bacon and eggs you have ~ Ron Swanson

Ok, first off....I usually have two eggs.

Second, it is with my Sig p365

So...checkmate!

Fork goes on the left; each has four letters.

Spoon and knife go on the right; each has five letters.

Gun goes... on top?

At the conclusion of a satisfying meal, Americans are expected to fire their Breakfast Guns into the air in the parking lot. It's considered courteous, and it signals to others where a good breakfast can be found.

It goes on whichever side your dominant hand is. Also, in the picture it's flipped the wrong way: Handle goes out so you can pick it up easily for when you need to dispense freedom seeds.

Also^2, the coffee should be black.

That's the ceremonical gun, the actual one is under the belt pointing at the owner's testicles.

Close. I keep a little league aluminum baseball bat handy for those rude individuals that like to interrupt my peaceful breakfast.

No donut?

Where is the fucking cheese and Coca Cola?

Uh... Why is there only one egg?

No cheese

No sausages

No ketchup

I prefer to have my bacon mountain on top of my pancake tower. Also, needs more eggs and jelly for my toast, but where.the.fuck. is my glass of OJ?

I just imagine they eat a huge bowl of that candy which they xall cereal.

Everything should be coated in maple syrup too.

Wtf is BREAD doing there?! You don’t have VEGETABLES at BREAKFAST this is AMERICA

Lol. We don’t use separate plates unless we are served them at a restaurant.

False. Gun too small, and no ammo on the table.

EDIT: And no cheap shit beer? This is nonsense.

If you’re a politician, you get a free side of blatant corruption too

American breakfast is the same as English breakfast except we don't have beans or blood sausage. The beans are replaced with fruit, the blood sausage is replaced with regular sausage, and the gun is just a centerpiece, not actually part of the meal.