I live in Australia
The homicide rate here is 0.86 deaths per 100k people per year
Of those, approx 66% are male.
The suicide rate is 12.3 deaths per 100k per year.
Of those, 75% are male.
The statistics are similar in most Western countries.
Pause for a second and think about the last time that you heard that mentioned either in casual conversation or in the news media.
It is not spoken about.
There was an article in my country in the news recently about men needing help too. The comments were ghastly. That women need it more and it was because of men, etc. Only one person in those comments stood up and addressed that actually men do need help too and that part of the problem could be to help men to cope and offering support because they don't have as many options as other groups.
I see an article about it, every now and then. But it's definitely not something that's being addressed with a sense of urgency. I guess the attitude that men just need to endure in silence, which I grew up with, is still pervasive. Close relationships with men, where you can talk about emotions, were discouraged, because that's gay and gay is bad. I know how idiotic and toxic that is, but I also notice how deeply ingrained this is for me. When I see men show emotions, I instinctively think of them as weak. Then I have to make a conscious effort to think how dumb that is. As I think I'm not the only one who was taught this fucked up shit, the only way forward seems to be a generational effort. Each generation tries to bring up their children a little less fucked up until we end up with a somewhat sane attitude two or three generations from now.
You have mountains of work to do if you want societies to realize that men suffer mentally too..
Can't I just have a molehill of work. I've already got a lot on my plate with no outlet.
Yes you can, any help is appreciated and welcomed 🫶
🫂
I'm rather convinced that society knows - it just does not care.
Perhaps.... but I don't wanna lose hope in humanity, so I'll blame ignorance
It doesn't matter if a lot of people care about something if they don't fight for these things to happen "society" ie the beaurcratic powers that be in different institutions will not automatically feature your issue. Inertia is more efficient for them. The reason so many minority initiatives have worked is because small but dedicated groups worked extraordinarily hard to pressure "society" to change. It's Pride month, look at that situation. The LGBTQIA is a small fraction of society, smaller back at it's Pride origins by far because a lot of people were scared out of their minds to come forward.
I understand that the instinct is to mope, to treat these problems as too big to change but that isn't healthy. What people need to remember is that just wishing or creating reasons not to try doesn't make things so. It is an unfortunate issue with straight cis men that they are not primed to organized guerilla social action. In part I think it is because there's this toxic internal expectation that someone else should be doing that work for you on your behalf. There isn't. If men want this to happen the movement has to start with men. Other people will join you and help you but they aren't going to do the basic work for you. That whole "elevate ( ____ ) voices" thing? Men could fill that space but that's the thing you have to put the work in to create the movement that treats your word as the authentic voice of the concern. Your voice needs to start that snowball effect and you need to make and start executing the plan.
Venting isn't all that useful on it's own mental health wise. Get it out of your system but add a second step. Ask yourself what you are going to do about it. Then find people in your area and organize. Be a leader of the movement or support one.
Sure, but it's well worth doing, and can be done by many.
After all, one aspect of all this is realizing you don't have to do everything yourself!
Yes. I'm one of the women other women resent-and usually the men who are suffering, too - because I do point it out. I'd love it if we can all come together and work towards healing our community. Or another one. You can't force people to heal.
One thing I think should definitely be put out there more loudly is that Alexithymia(emotional blindness) is likely very common among dudes. I'm mostly going off personal experience, and how I've had issues identifying my emotions, and how I've heard some dudes I've talked to straight up just say they think they don't feel things. I suspect potentially most dudes don't understand how to detect emotions outside of very intense sadness, anger, etc. and I think that they need that communicated and a path they can maybe follow.
100% agreed. Bottling things up creates exploiters of those who would show emotions.
I hope you realise that now you're fighting the patriarchy. They want us to believe that men have their shit together and women are all runny eye-makeup and hysteria. It's a big fight to pick.
My highschool has a club that is basically just group therapy for guys only. As a regular attendee, it kicks ass.
OMG it's so good to hear that this is changing. Twenty years ago, in college, I responded to flyers around campus about a support group forming. The therapist refused because obviously the support group was only for women. No mention on the flyers. She was surprised I tried to sign up and said I'd make everyone uncomfortable.
I know we have a ways to go but I'm glad there's even a thought that maaaaaybe men need and can benefit from support, too?
I think the recent lack of male only spaces causes a huge amount of problem for men.
Its about stopping issued not fixing them once they are a problem.
All the male spaces I have been in have had guys opening up and getting support.
But when women are around they just seem to judge men for opening up, or belittle their issues as a joke/ insignificant to women's, or sometimes they shut it down and blame to patriarchy for not allowing men to open up when they are the ones stopping men from opening up.
To everyone who believes men's feeling don't matter the only thing I can say is if my feelings don't matter then why should yours
Agreed
I read that as "love and cake" -- but yes, that too.
I read it as "men weed" which is nice
Finally someone says a dam thing about our mental health
Men's mental health is certainly important, I would change one thing about this image: 'Men feel things' should be changed to 'Men feel emotions'. Beyond that, I have no disagreements with this post!
Yeah you go guys, it’s all super important no matter the gender and ethnocultural background. Suffering alone has no meaning. death stranding incredible track about this
Men feel things not feelings.
As a man, this makes me feel like you need to be slapped upside the head.
Bruh hold on he promised me I could feel his thing
As a man, your comment makes me believe that you're feeling some frustration and should probably try to express it through words and not physical violence.
Yeah, because abusing abusers and unwell always works. That's why bombing countries that have terrorists in them have eradicated terrorism (not saying the human being you replied to is a terrorist, went to an extreme example for illustrative purposes).
In all seriousness, that reply right there shows healing is needed.
I feel the need to point out that this guy is basically just pointing out the specific message posted here on the image
(When I read the images I was thinking: "things? What kind of things? Sensations? Diarrhea? The need for respect? Motherfucker just say FEELINGS)
as a way for us to call attention to it and reflect on it instead of the misrepresentation of an slight or derogatory meaning.
Y'all need to calm the fuck down
i feel with my fingers
