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Mental Health

  • Trans-Resources --This is part of our LGBTQ+ Pinned Post, but I wanted to make sure it's visible on its' own because it's a great site with local resources that you can search by location.
    trans-resources.info Home Page

    A directory of resources for trans, non-binary, and gender non-conforming people

    Trans-Resources aims to help transgender, non-binary, and other gender non-conforming people find resources where they live. Our goal is to be a directory of advocacy organizations, legal resources, support & social groups, and other resources that service the trans community.

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  • About Suicide and Suicide Safety Planning

    Hey folks. It's me, VubDapple. I'm a (not so active but still present) mod for this community and also a mental health professional. Recently there was some upset at this young community's rule about posts concerning suicide. I thought I'd offer a few thoughts about suicide and where things seem to stand right now. Sorry for the delay in my response; things have been rather busy in my life.

    Suicide is a super frightening topic for many people - with good reason. As such, it is difficult to figure out how to manage discussion of suicide in a public and anonymous volunteer forum so that everyone's needs are best met. A few issues come to mind that have to do with such balancing of needs:

    1. How to balance the needs of people who want to discuss their suicidal thoughts against the needs of other people who would be triggered by reading it and would really like to avoid it? Suicidal ideation is really common within groups of people who self-identify as having mental health issues, so on the one hand it is reasonable to discuss it. On the other hand, the very nature of the topic feels dangerous to many, sometimes because it might trigger one's own suicidal thoughts and at other times because there is concern that if not handled properly any discussion could make the issue worse rather than better.

    2. How to know what the risk is that someone who is suicidal might actually attempt suicide? Many people who are suicidal are not in imminent danger, but some really are. Because this judgement is difficult to make, and because no one here including moderators is able to take on an actual care-giving clinical role, it is reasonable for us to treat all suicidal discussion as potentially dangerous.

    3. How to best care for a suicidal person? This community is simply not able to provide any actual suicide prevention service! There is nothing like /r/suicidewatch here at this time! The community is not staffed to care for an acutely suicidal person.

    The recent rule adjustment (Rule #4) has been made to try to strike a balance between the competing needs of community members. Basically, it's okay to acknowledge the existence of suicidal thoughts or thoughts relating to self-harm but we want to discourage extended discussion of such topics, precisely because no one here is able to take on an extended care-giving role in the manner a professional caregiver would and because there is a reasonable chance or at least reasonable concern that extended discussion might make things worse than they already are. The best advice that can be given at this time would be to seek professional mental health care.

    I can shed some light on how to know when suicidal thoughts are considered acutely and immediately dangerous and when they are not by providing the following psycho-educational information.

    Mental health professionals divided the universe of suicidal thoughts into "active" and "passive" categories. I like to offer the metaphor of a "poison flower" to help people recognize how these categories work.

    Suicidal thoughts are a developmental process that starts small and grows to become a threat. Think of a flower seedling - it is very small at first - just a shoot coming out of the soil. As it grows it develops tiny leaves and the stem gets larger, the leaves get larger, etc. in a developmental process. Eventually a bud forms, that bud opens and then we have a flower. The universe of passive suicidal ideation is just like this flower during its developmental phase eg., before the flower blooms. The universe of active suicidal ideation is like the flower after it has bloomed. Active suicidality is much more dangerous than passive suicidal ideation.

    Passive ideation usually starts with a feeling of overwhelm; a sense that a person simply does not have what it will take to manage the situation they find themselves in. As it grows, the passively suicidal person becomes aware of the thought that they might be better off dead. Often this thought is frightening at first; the people who experience it do not want it there and see it as a sign that they aren't well. A further development of the suicidal process but still passive suicidality occurs when a person finds themselves fantasizing about how they might end their life. The thoughts may still be unwanted and at this phase of the developmental process there can be a sense of a growing struggle between the thoughts of dying and the desire to push those thoughts away. An even further development might occur when a person starts taking seriously the idea that they might actually kill themselves. At this late stage of passive suicidal ideation there may still not be what we call intent, but nevertheless the suicidal person may start researching how they would end their life.

    The turning point between passive and active suicidality comes when three criteria are met: 1) there is intent to harm one's self, 2) there is a plan for how the person will harm themselves, and 3) the person has access to the means to harm themselves. The term intent means that the person has come to regard the idea of suicide as something they will carry out. The term plan means only that the person has picked a method for how they will die. You don't need to have a "good" plan (eg., one likely to be lethal) in order for it to count that you have a plan; any plan will do. Finally having access to the means for committing suicide means having access to the tools and materials that the person would use to end their life. When all three of these criteria are met, we mental health professionals consider the person to be actively suicidal. When the criteria are not all met then we consider people to be more passively suicidal.

    Suicidal ideation is not a one-way process. People can move from not-suicidal to passively suicidal and then later to actively suicidal, but it is also true that actively suicidal people can exit their active suicidal status back usually to passively suicidal status, and then even later become not suicidal again. It's important to keep this in mind because of what some call the "suicidal trance" eg., the tendency, as a person becomes more and more actively suicidal, to believe that suicide is the only reasonable response to what appears to that person at the moment to be an endless and entirely hopeless set of life problems from which suicide is the only escape. Most of the time it isn't true that the person's life problems are actually endlessly hopeless, but it does tend to feel that way when you're in it.

    There is no hard and fast rule for assessing danger here, but the general idea is that passive suicidality is less acutely dangerous than active suicidality; mostly because with active suicidality by definition there is intent to die and the person's energies are marshaled in the direction of finding a way to make that happen in a manner that is simply not the case when a person is more passively suicidal. Passive suicidality is dangerous in that it may become active later on, but most of the time when someone is passively suicidal they are not going to go home and kill themselves any time soon. Active suicidality is a crisis. The actively suicidal person needs help and they need it as quickly as it can be found. A good way to gain that help if there is no other resource around would be to go to a hospital emergency room and tell the staff there that you are actively suicidal. Such action might help best in the short term because at least in the USA (where I am located) the healthcare system is broken and there easily might not be follow up care provided which would be needed, but it might be better than nothing.

    What sort of care does a suicidal person benefit from? If you know of someone who is suicidal and the right solution is not immediate hospitalization to contain a crisis that will unfold very very shortly if urgent measures are not taken, then what is the right solution? It used to be the case that mental health professionals were trained to ask suicidal people to "sign a no-suicide contract" whether actually or metaphorically. It turns out that this doesn't help much. These days, in addition to whatever therapy they may provide mental health professionals are trained to help passively suicidal clients by helping them complete a Suicide Safety Plan.

    The Suicide Safety Plan is simply a list of resources that the suicidal person can think about when they are tempted by the possibility of harming themselves. It is designed to help a suicidal person to maintain perspective about their larger situation even as the "suicidal trance" beckons them to die, and to remind the suicidal person of the techniques they can use or the resources they can call upon if they are feeling especially tempted.

    Anyone can make a Suicide Safety Plan by answering the following questions:

    1. What are the warning signs in your behavior that signal that you are becoming increasingly suicidal?

    2. What are the ways you have available to calm or sooth yourself that might lessen your need to suicide?

    3. What can you do to make the environment safer for you (like getting rid of the means of harming yourself)?

    4. What are reasons for living? Often this one boils down to "Who would be harmed if you were to die?"

    5. Who in your personal life can you talk to about how bad things are?

    6. Who are the healthcare professionals you can call on if things get really bad?

    I know what you might be thinking! A lot of people looking at these questions have told me that they can't see it coming, they don't know how to sooth themselves, there are no valid reasons for living, they have no friends or people who care about them and that they can't access healthcare because it is too expensive (which is often true in the profit-obsessed USA unfortunately). Even so, it is worth trying to engage with these questions so as to write out methods and names and resources as well as you can. Even a little bit of hope and a little bit of planning in advance can become critical in a crisis, making the difference between life and death.

    A final word about reasons for living. Many times suicidal people have told me that even though they have children or loved ones, that their children will be better off without them alive. Such is the warping influence of the suicidal trance which commonly argues that the suicidal person is and can only be a burden and that children or loved ones will be better off without them. This simply isn't true. Children get FUCKED UP when their parents commit suicide. Loved ones get FUCKED UP when their loved ones commit suicide. Particularly for children who lose their parents to suicide, the effect is to traumatize them rather permanently for the rest of their lives. I have seen it up close and personal. Nothing I might say can make the influence of the suicidal trance less strong, but at least hear me in that this part of what that trance says is a lie. Nothing good comes of suicide except maybe that your own personal pain is discharged. The others around you will suffer. If you don't want to contribute to the suffering of others, please consider looking for another way. That other way might be very hard to find or very expensive to access, but when it is life or death, it's a good investment to make.

    General Suicide Information

    https://www.cdc.gov/suicide/index.html

    Suicide Helplines In the USA: call or text 988

    https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp

    https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines/

    Suicide Safety Planning:

    https://www.verywellmind.com/suicide-safety-plan-1067524

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-recovery-coach/202306/how-to-develop-a-safety-plan-to-manage-a-suicidal-crisis

    0
  • How do I blend in more?

    Hello, so I am someone who meets facet 2&3 of the psychopathic spectrum and my psychiatrist at least agreed I’m ether a psychopath or have heavy ASPD. Though we were never able to get far due to insurance issues though I have done extensive research with college professors and learning from specialized psychiatrist. Now please before you keep on reading understand this will get rather gruesome so if you wish to click away. I’d do so now.

    So the first signs I remember as a child that should’ve thrown red flags across the board for my parents was I would step and kill birds to watch their life drain from their eyes. This includes the sound of death and blood would sexually arouse me at 4 years old. Moving onto 6th grade. My English teacher was afraid of me, as I would constantly talk about fire arms and killing. Moving up to recently, I seriously didn’t mean to kill the squirrel as I was just wondering what may happen. Though I microwaved a squirrel and it exploded. I told this story in my 12th grade English class.

    See by that time I really stopped harming animals but I got a really psychotic moment and had that thought. I do deeply regret doing it but I still have random psychotic ideas. Like I recently found a roadkill beaver that was well preserved and decided to skin it. Then when walking back into my house with the skinning knife I had a very horrible idea to capture a bird and slit its throat just to watch its blood leak. I do have an understanding of laws and morals I taught myself/learned off a show character who honestly raised me a bit as my father was never around.

    The thing is though I do feel emotion, normally I can’t at all feel happiness or very distant. Though I feel a void normally calm but when I get stressed or sad. It’s like an overwhelming sense of dread. Though the only true happiness I feel in this life is loving and caring for others or trying to protect the innocent.

    Though I don’t know how to fit in, how to seem a bit more normal and I believe it’s affecting my life in general. Please any advice helps.

    Addition to this: I have DID with 6 alternate personalities. One an aging younger version while the others are adults. I don’t have nearly any memory of my childhood besides psychotic things I did. I also have hallucinations when someone makes me mad of bad things happening to them which I’ve never had the intent of following them as normally they disturb me and I don’t want those things to happen. For example seeing my brother and mother’s face peal off. I also don’t feel empathy 60% of the time unless I’m romantically attracted or they’re really good people.

    8
  • The amazingly useful role of Why in self healing.

    This information is purposefully condensed. It's my goal to get my ideas out in the most clear, concise way possible.

    ...I'm still working on it, lol. Think of it as a list of "Bullet Paragraphs."

    That being said; Please try to take it at face value and let me know if it resonates with you.

    Would love to hear from anyone who disagrees, too!

    ---

    tl;dr

    Ask Why. Often. If you need to, start with answers you know. Be willing to admit when you get it wrong, Be willing to learn from it. Work on staying rational when emotions rise, While also giving them the space they deserve.

    Why is very helpful in relationships, too, Just be mindful of boundaries.

    ---

    Why isn't a question, it's a path. It can be overgrown and hard to see sometimes, but as long as you remember to come back and check now and then, you'll always find it again. And whenever it feels like you've reached the end, there's probably a little more still ahead.

    Sometimes, you'll come to an answer that feels right, and later find out you're wrong. If you're able to admit it, you'll still learn from it. Be willing to update your worldview, or maybe just your place in it.

    If you don't know where where to start or what to ask, just start with going through the Why that you already know. Journaling is a huge help with this part, but just mentally working through it is great, too.

    You might ask something like "Why do I get sad so quickly?" or "Why do I feel lonely?" Keep going until it feels like time to stop, or when you get stuck. Set it down for now, so you can come back later.

    If you are able to rationalize and accept why things happened while accepting and feeling the emotional pain when it rises, you can work to heal wounds while staying more emotionally regulated.

    The trick here is learning to give the pain the space it deserves, while leaving your rational mind in control to "sort the baggage." It may be difficult at first, but it comes with practice.

    Why is amazing when aimed inward, but it can be just as helpful aimed outward: When those close to you are struggling, trying to really understand Why can be a great help to them and may strengthen the relationship as long as boundaries are respected.

    This can be applied to many other mental health related situations, too, not just trauma.

    0
  • A guide to claiming, or reclaiming your autonomy and using it to heal

    [Disclaimer: I am not a licened anything, except a class D Driver, and definitelty not a mental health professional.

    The information below involves a theory that could be considered "Brainhacking."

    It's a very powerful tool and should be used with informed intent. If you're able, using this method with the advice of a licenced therapist is highly recommended.

    If you are not able to do that, you can and should teach yourself about mental emotional health as you engage with this theory, and be willing to update your beliefs.

    Self help is popular at the moment and there are a lot of free resources out there. Social media can actually be really helpful with this, but you have to vet your sources.

    I can't tell you how to vet, because I don't know. I'm self taught. I can give some recommendations, though, if anyone asks.

    The more you learn, the more BS you'll be able to smell.

    Just dig.]

    With that said... It's possible to build your sense of autonomy by building up your ability to make informed, intentional decisions.

    Most people already do this, I know.

    This is about how to build it from scratch if you need to, or strengthen what you already have.

    If you share this information anywhere, I ask that you share it in it's entirety. Full context is very important.

    And lastly; This is a first draft. Feedback and constructive criticism is encouraged.

    ---

    This guide came out of a reply to a comment on my post about Doomer Nihilists.

    The post: https://lemmy.world/post/14522935

    Which I also posted here: https://lemmy.world/post/14522932

    The comment: >I hope you're never able to understand. Depression changes not just how you feel but the ways you can feel. The people you're frustrated with literally can't be positive in the same way you can.

    ---

    My reply:

    I'm certain that I won't.

    That being said... I've been suffering from Chronic Depression from the age of 12. I'm in my 40's now.

    I'll spare you the life story, but after a particularly turbulent ~4 years between 2016 and 2020 (completely unrelated to politics, oddly enough given the range.), I "Woke up" and started to examine the world around me as if I was new here.

    During the pandemic, I began to realize that I had to understand the division and rise of authoritarianism going on in the world right now to get over pretty severe cognitive dissonance. It led me to realizing how someone can live in their own reality bubble, and understanding how that bubble gets created.

    When you can present someone a black and white fact, and they deny or evade, at a base level in their mind, it is a conscious choice. A choice between evade, deny, and accept. The part of your brain that makes that choice is essentially a root level decision maker.

    By utilizing that same part of the mind purposefully and rationally, you can greatly increase your sense of autononomy.

    In the context of depression...

    Taking back your autonomy aside from but along with healing your depression is possible.

    It seems impossible because the depression is taking so much of your mental energy, you haven't been able to really use this part of your mind, and it has likely atrophied.

    As you build it back up it will help you take more purposeful steps toward healing.

    And to your last statement... Yeah... you can. I promise. Not instantly, but incrementally. It literally starts with making one decision. One decision over and over until it sticks. After that you move on to the next, and the next, and so on.

    If you still think it's impossible, ask yourself this question and be honest with the answer:

    "Am I ready to heal -yet?-"

    If the answer is no, nothing can help. You gotta flip that switch. -You- gotta figure that one out.

    It never fully heals, and it may wax and wane, but better is possible.

    --- [My reply ends there, but I will continue here with the hypothetical question...]

    "Okaysohowthefuckamisupposedtodothis??" ---

    You have two separate and distinct minds in your head.

    [CGP Grey - You Are Two] ~5m

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfYbgdo8e-8

    And you can learn to use them separately.

    This is one place where it's different for everyone. I imagine it will be easier for some and harder for others, but I'll do my best to get it started:

    If you've ever had a gut feeling or heard you conscious, that's your left brain. It's the logical voice on your shoulder when a devil's on the other.

    Start using that side of your brain to make decisions. Maybe purposefully choose to do something outside your routine or comfort zone. Small things first, like choosing a different flavor, or making a different turn. Use those to identify and and "isolate" your left brain's decision maker and start practicing.

    It is a mental muscle. Very useful in mental gymnastics. ;P

    It takes time and effort, but as it grows so does your willpower. And once it gets going it slowly starts to feed itself, and you can work more on keeping momentem rather than building it.

    A couple notes:

    Sometimes your left brain can be a cynical asshole, so your right brain has to step in and say "Okay listen up motherfucker. You and I both know damn good and well that this cynical take is bullshit." Or vice versa. Pay attention to and foster that.

    Also, if you wanted to, you could even let each half believe in opposing ideas, as long as the rational side gets at least 51%. This is how I hold all of my spiritual beliefs.

    --- "Will doing this fully heal my depression?" ---

    No. Nothing can do that. The depression will never be gone, but with the right understanding to make the right decisions, this will help you to process most of, if not all of what can be healed.

    You will have to feel all of your pain before it's gone, and that part is probably gonna suck.

    When you are able; sit with your pain. Understand it, hold it, and when you're ready or when you need to, set it down. It will come back later, where you'll go through this process again.

    On that topic; Journaling is a great way to process, as well. Most people seem to get the the best results by physically journaling with pen and paper. I feel like typing on a physical, mechanical keyboard works best for me. (But my phone works in a pinch, too!)

    Talking to someone is great, too, but talking about emotional issues too often can possibly do more harm then good. Pay attention to how you feel after to know if it's helpful. Ex.: "Do I feel more relieved or more anxious?" Identify the feelings.

    There are tons: Creating Art, Exercise, Being Outdoors, and so on. You'll have to find what works for you. Just don't be afraid to feel understand the pain as you do it. Sometimes you might even try to feel it intentionally. But always remember; When you're done, set it down and let it come back later.

    ---

    If all of -this- seems impossible to you: Did you evade or deny? What would change if you accepted it?

    ---

    Uhm... That's it, in a nutshell. This was kinda spur of the moment, and I have plans to write more of the "How" out in greater detail, at some point. But for now... Thank you for coming to my TedTalk?

    0
  • I was the poster girl for OCD. Then I began to question everything I’d been told about mental illness
    www.theguardian.com I was the poster girl for OCD. Then I began to question everything I’d been told about mental illness

    When I sought help for crippling invasive thoughts, I was told I had a disease like any other. But I wasn’t able to recover until I understood the fallacy at the heart of mental healthcare

    I was the poster girl for OCD. Then I began to question everything I’d been told about mental illness
    4
  • Does anyone else have a personality type that's just incompatible with everyone

    I feel like everyone eventually gets annoyed with me, and I just always end up alone. I loose all my friends, and Ive never really had a healthy loving partnership. I just feel hopeless

    8
  • I've (M) had 2 close (F) friends since almost 10 years ago, and now suddenly they say they don't want to be friends with me anymore.

    Title says it, apparently i've been "too much" for them to handle (and i recognize i was quite the bag of rocks in 2021).

    But these last two years everything had been just fine (i apologized for my misbehavior, i finally got a job), everything was going great.

    But now they suddenly felt they've "changed and matured" (their words, not mine) and that somehow does not allow us to be friends any longer.

    Any advice?

    I feel i'm losing my head over this.

    8
  • Bernard Stiegler’s philosophy on how technology shapes our world | Aeon Essays

    >>Technological development can destroy our sense of ourselves as rational, coherent subjects, leading to widespread suffering and destruction. But tools can also provide us with a new sense of what it means to be human, leading to new modes of expression and cultural practices. > > >Technology, for better or worse, affects every aspect of our lives. Our very sense of who we are is shaped and reshaped by the tools we have at our disposal. > > >The problem, for Stiegler, is that when we pay too much attention to our tools, rather than how they are developed and deployed, we fail to understand our reality. We become trapped, merely describing the technological world on its own terms and making it even harder to untangle the effects of digital technologies and our everyday experiences. > > >By encouraging us to pay closer attention to this world-making capacity, with its potential to harm and heal, Stiegler is showing us what else is possible. > > > archive.org > > ghostarchive.org > > archive.today

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  • Not sure if it will help others, but wanted to share what is helping me a bit

    ;tldr

    Find something you enjoy and try and capture it in a way that you can look at it and appreciate what you do, I mean you might not appreciate it but it can be something that gets all that built thoughts out into the open so it is easy to see with one's own eyes.

    I know and understand it will not work for everyone but I still hope it can be a positive contribution from my own experiences and I can only hope it can be useful for someone

    End tldr;

    So I have posted a lot and it felt a bit selfish always using the service but not really contributing.

    I don't know how long I can keep it up, but over the past 2 weeks I have been trying to blog a video game article every day on my personal blog. I mean I should space things out so that I don't burn out of course, but so far just doing the writing has helped me not be overwhelmed with thought.

    Perhaps it is a distraction, but I do feel less social anxiety as I am branching out more on Lemmy and try to engage with people more and I think for that is good thing.

    I don't know if it is good advice or not, but for me it feels being able to express something one really enjoys in what ever way that one is most comfortable with and then being able to reflect on it - in my case writing and then going over it and then being able to say I completed something when I publish it - has created to me a, I can only assume, a postive feedback loop.

    I write this as I am someone that enjoys being social but is incredibly socially insular, and in writing the video games blogs it is making me feel more comfortable trying to branch out as I "empty my head" so to speak.

    I made contact with the friends I felt ashamed of being a detriment to the group and explained my situation, stating I would communicate every now then via posting but be unable to communicate via voice

    I even made a Mastodon account, and although I spent most of the day trying to figure out how to write and learn about correct # usage while stil building up the courage to use because I have never been big on social media before, I finally got around to post to share my blog online and I built that courage by myself, which I however small is an achievement to me considering I have always felt I cannot do things without someone else's help.

    The help I did get from going to a blogging group is to just not care what other people say and write for myself, create something I want and over time I can make it better and refine. Just so long as I am doing something that is a good thing. If nothing else writing can be for its own benefit and that has a reassuring comfort for someone like me that is incredibly harsh on myself as well.

    There is probably a name for this, but I guess in absence of other choices, this is almost like therapy for me in a sense. I still do strongly recommend that those that can should seek professional help though

    7
  • Felt like sharing and have been not sure where to really share it otherwise

    Tldr:

    Seeing lemmy posts about Disco Elysium reminded me of something that resonanted with me and its been bubbling wanting to get out and the other topic feeling lonely and isolated from friends due to hardware failure and a growing sense of low self worth and loneliness with some introspection.

    : End tldr

    First off I want to preface that I am going to be using a game and I guess how it emotionally resonated with me when I tried empathasing with the main character.

    The game in question being Disco Elysium.

    Although I myself cannot directly place myself in the shoes of the protaganist the game did catch me in a lot of moments where I am in a situation and just think "damn, that sounds like me" at times.

    From the commentary of being a "Sorry Cop", that I have tried to move past in my life ( being someone that used to say "sorry" a lot)

    To the many different examples of falling into a line of thought or idealogy and being exposed to the idea that maybe I might be inclined to ideas because I have been hurt and in that hurt I have lashed out mentally clawed onto these ideas less from thinking clearly to maybe it just makes me feel better to identify with something to try forget about the pain.

    A part in particullar resonanted with me in the first run through the game where the protaganist talks to their ex-wife, it resonated with me from a moment in my life where I mentally fell blindly in love, was rejected and come to the realisation I was being used.

    It isn't an exact situation from any stretch but the emotion of wanting someone and wanting to get an answer and seeing that he felt he was not good enough, really hit home in a different way from how I usually have ruminated - mainly because I expressed but never had anyone to empathise with being felt betrayed and abandoned.

    In a weird way, I could empathise with the longing the character had and how painful it coukd feel, at the anger I have carried in me and how I could feel that anger in the character. It was like "I know this, and I know how you feel" and the game explores this with the destructive( and the potentially destructive) behaviour the character goes through in the game.

    When I played it a second time I really went pretty hard into the worst emotions I felt during those times and it was I guess eye-opening to see the self-destructive behaviour from the outside where the character was a philosophical mess embracing many different philosophies falling in with facists and communists, the uncomfortableness of almost making a little girl cry, catching that in myself in that moment and really feeling bad exposing a child to the ugliness of the world when they express a world view with their child-like innocence.

    And what really sealed the deal in making take a step back and think on things is when the protagonist has genuine heart to heart with other broken people and then just hitting right through to a root cause that

    "Hey, that person really messed you up didn't they. It's okay and maybe your life is a mess because you cannot forgive yourself and you doing all these wild things, believing all these ideologies because you feel hurt and you do all these things to try replace that pain with something, anything that can make you feel better"

    It just hit differently feeling personally called out but not in the way that they reprimand and ridicule you but just in a way that says "hey the world is fucked up, people will do fucked up things, things will not always work out and we all carry baggage."

    Isolating yourself and trying to carry the weight of the perceived world on your shoulders can lead to self destruction and ruin, but when people genuinely listen and, even though their situation can be similar or worse, listen with sympathy and understanding that one can start to take steps to heal oneself.

    I guess seeing news of Disco Elysium around Lemmy sparked the memory, but yeah even though things are not great for me and I feel myself falling back into my isolation as events that was planned to improve fell through and my personal situation not getting better with things I also planned to use breaking down as well.

    In regards to the breaking down of things was my computer which one could argue was the thing that was keeping my sanity in check somewhat probably in the same vein I suppose an addict uses substances to deal with issues if I try be honest with myself.

    On the other hand it was a lot easier to communicate with people but when it died, I tried communicating with the mobile device and unfortunately the earpieces are kind of trash with it having degraded audio or static while communicating also on top of the charger cable breaking and having to playing round robin in the household with a single working charger.

    With the events just piling on in a negative momentum, I think I feel incredibly lonely and low value because that is how I feel around my peers when I cannot engage with them when I feel I bring nothing to the table and feel like I actually make the experience worse

    When the pc was working I attempted to make videos, however every time I tried I would be bitterly disappointed with my own voice and it would demotivate me from further editing and attempting to create.

    I suppose with the forceful break from it I guess deep down I really just wanted to make videos to be recognised and acknowledged, however I hated the content I was trying to make because it felt lifeless and phoned in. I guess I was so focussed on trying to be "perfect" that I just made myself more unhappy when I couldn't do something I really do enjoy doing but feel incompetent in trying to get that across.

    This was all very loaded again, but it has been building up inside of me for awhile and I really needed to just write something otherwise I feel I would stubble down into the "madness" pit.

    4
  • FOLLOWUP: I've lost it all and I don't know how to handle it

    To all who previously replied thank you - your encouragement and letting me know I'm not alone meant a lot.

    I would also like to mention one individual offered to send a few dollars my way, and that's more than I could've ever hoped for. It helped me get some groceries and gas, so THANK YOU.

    In reference to applying at 2000+ jobs and not being employed, I didn't mean to indicate I had NO response. I had many false starts, jobs where I went through multiple interview rounds, or jobs that just weren't feasible (i.e 100+ miles away on-site). Particularly, I keep finding situations where I'm contacted by a company, asked to do a phone interview, then when I reply (usually within a few hours if not immediately) to schedule a time they just ghost me.

    I did take up the offers to look over my resume via DM, but no one replied funny enough.

    On to mental health - I'm better than I was. I still feel utterly hopeless, but maybe a bit less so ya know? My thoughts are... Difficult at times, but I keep moving forward as best I can.

    All this to say thank you. I got more response than I ever expected, and I appreciated every one and I read them all. I hope you all have a good day, and keep pushing forward.

    8
  • What is the best way to succinctly describe this symptom?

    I have been taking Cymbalta 60mg and I have noticed its benefits wearing off both physically and mentally. It used to be that when I missed a dose, I would feel "fuzzy," almost like lightheadedness but without the headache, more like a rush of blood that makes me feel that way. Now even when I take the proper dosage, I feel this way. Is there a better term for this symptom than "fuzzy?" In more detail, I will have this kind of rushing heaviness for only a second; it goes through my whole body, mostly my head down through my torso. I will have times when I experience microscopic blackouts, where I will very briefly not remember what happened merely a couple of minutes ago. Thank you for cooperating with this very vague description.

    5
  • What "wanting something" is. My thoughts and my journey

    Hey Everybody. I am using capital letters For Titles In case you want to skip something.

    A LITTLE INTRODUCTION OF ME:

    I started feeling depressed 13 years ago, I was underaged with [difficult] parents so I didn't receive any help. Now I am an adult and for the last year and a half I am going to therapy. I tried lots of different therapists until I found the one I work with carently, she is really good and has helped me a lot plus I found the strength to leave everyone behind and start over (actually I live with my brother and I still have contact with my best friend, but my brother has changed a lot and my best friend was always an angel).

    I can't say that I am not depressed anymore. I know better than that. BUT I can say that I am dramatically better and that I have large periods of time between my episodes.

    I WOULD LIKE TO TELL YOU SOME THINGS I HAVE REALIZED IN MY JOURNEY:

    Things seemed to start to get better when my environment got better. But I still was deep in my depression.

    Things seemed to start to really get better when I felt that my environment was safe and supportive.

    I had a terrible childhood so I needed to feel safe so I could start thinking straight.

    Things fell in place when I started rebuilding from the start. I realized nothing I ever had done was for me. I never had the chance to think what I liked. All my childhood I was hearing that my dreams are stupid and not sustainable so at some time I stopped dreaming, thinking and feeling all at once. So when I started searching what I wanted, life just clicked, okey I admit that's a little dramatic, let me explain it better.

    At first I couldn't understand the meaning of the phrase "what you want" and why my answers was wrong. When I finally understood, I started to wonder what "I wanted" (I haven't found out yet, but I am learning a lot of things in the process).

    Now I can understand that when I understood what "I Want" meant there was a huge step for my mental health, from then and going forwards I am making lots of progress. It took me about a year to understand what "I Want" means and in the next 6 months I have worked on at least 8 different things.

    I read a lot of stories from others with depression and I am starting to feel like they may not know what "wanting something" really means. I hope the knowledge I got from my experience help someone get through this easier and faster.

    For whoever needs it! HOW I UNDERSTOOD WHAT THE PHRASE "WHAT I WANT" MEANS:

    1. I asked as many people as I could what they thought it meant.

    2. I processed the answers (did they make sense to me?)

    The answers that kind of made sense for me was:

    My best friend told me "It's something you think of regularly and makes you feel good"

    Someone else said "It's something you do without thinking of the outcome, for example you want to paint cause you like the process not because you want to have a painting to hang on your wall"

    My brother told me "do you want chocolate? Why?"

    1. I made my own definition

    Which is " Wanting something means to constantly think of it with a positive feeling that doesn't involve the expectation of an outcome" (I am not sure it makes lots of sense in English)

    0
  • I don't consider myself depressed necessarily, just sometimes I have an overwhelmingly crippling sense of ennui.

    Let me preface this with, yes, I probably am depressive, I have been diagnosed with depression when I was very young and while things have been okay since then, it's probably important to recognize that. I consider myself in a very good state of mind in my life at this moment.

    So what do I mean? Well, I don't feel like I'm depressed, not the way that I understand depression. I do however have these very intense moments of ennui; dissatisfaction from lack of interest. This is basically I find life very unfulfilling because I don't see much point in anything, things don't seem fun. This isn't my normal state, but certain triggers will intensely put me in this state of mind for an hour or more.

    I also have episodes where I feel very melancholic for a certain vibe, there's a certain type of music where if I listen to it, I get very very sad because I imagine a life I used to want to live but never was able, even though I'm only 29. My girlfriend says I should stop listening to this music but it's a very bittersweet feeling for me and I get enjoyment out of this specific flavor of sadness.

    Sometimes these states are influenced by stress, other times by boredom. They almost always only last an hour and cause me no real concern. I don't really know what to think of them, I think the only reason I'm mentioning it is I feel introspective. What do you guys think?

    11
  • jjust a thought, .. that why have i always been very sensitive to crying.

    haventgotten answers from doctors or any ever, but i cry to like any inconvenience, nearly any small insult, being even moderately spooked, sm1 not liking me; even if i just slightly feel like one dislikes me a little. i did try medication.. but it made me feel like a zombie and i didn't like it :c didn't feel right. like, even if im extremely happy and all, i may suddenly just start to cry about someeven if i feel long-term happiness during it.

    7
  • I've lost it all and I don't know how to handle it

    Let me start. I previously resided in a north eastern US state, I had a good job, a good partner, a nice place to live. I thought I'd made it.

    I started having medical problems, discovered I carry certain genes and such. Was having trouble getting them diagnosed, but such is life.

    Then my good partner left me, I lost my job of a year and a half, and I thought a fresh start near family would be good. I decided to move cross country. Which I regret, I want to leave but now I don't have the resources so here I am.

    I just can't seem to get a job, I've applied at over 2000 jobs in the last 6 months. My previous job was managing the entire technology infrastructure for an IT company. The one before that was the IT Manager for a small company. I have the experience, but I can't get a job.

    Last night I swerved to avoid deer in the road, got stuck in the mud and had to get towed out. I'm flat broke, I can't get a job, I have nothing. I lost everything. And I don't see myself ever recovering it. I have the experience and skill to do at least mid and some high level IT work.

    I desperately want a remote job because my car is not reliable, my partner got the good car sadly. I've certainly made mistakes, I've certainly failed. But I don't think I deserve this much pain and suffering. I have nothing, I've lost it all. I can't find a job. I don't dare look for a partner while I'm a dead broke loser, so I have no one to share with.

    Anyways, I apologize for whining and crying, I know we're all going through things. But I have nowhere to vent and it just keeps getting worse and I honestly don't think I'll ever get out.

    Love you all. Thanks for reading. Please think of me when you get a chance and send good vibes my way.

    38
  • Loneliness and suicide mitigation for students using GPT3-enabled chatbots
    www.nature.com Loneliness and suicide mitigation for students using GPT3-enabled chatbots - npj Mental Health Research

    Mental health is a crisis for learners globally, and digital support is increasingly seen as a critical resource. Concurrently, Intelligent Social Agents receive exponentially more engagement than other conversational systems, but their use in digital therapy provision is nascent. A survey of 1006 s...

    Loneliness and suicide mitigation for students using GPT3-enabled chatbots - npj Mental Health Research

    Mental health is a crisis for learners globally, and digital support is increasingly seen as a critical resource. Concurrently, Intelligent Social Agents receive exponentially more engagement than other conversational systems, but their use in digital therapy provision is nascent. A survey of 1006 student users of the Intelligent Social Agent, Replika, investigated participants’ loneliness, perceived social support, use patterns, and beliefs about Replika. We found participants were more lonely than typical student populations but still perceived high social support. Many used Replika in multiple, overlapping ways—as a friend, a therapist, and an intellectual mirror. Many also held overlapping and often conflicting beliefs about Replika—calling it a machine, an intelligence, and a human. Critically, 3% reported that Replika halted their suicidal ideation. A comparative analysis of this group with the wider participant population is provided.

    3
  • "The status quo, preoccupied with biomedical interventions... is no longer defensible"

    I looked at this blog post and it mentions a UN report which seems to be quite critical of modern psychiatry.

    The doctor who made the report seems to be saying that drugging people is not a great approach, and really we should recognise that poor mental health is a result of social and psychological pressures:

    >Public policies continue to neglect the importance of the preconditions of poor mental health, such as violence, disempowerment, social exclusion and isolation and the breakdown of communities, systemic socioeconomic disadvantage and harmful conditions at work and in schools... Reductive biomedical approaches to treatment that do not adequately address contexts and relationships can no longer be considered compliant with the right to health.

    Thoughts on this? Is the medical model of psychiatry just created by money-hungry pharma companies? Of course some people think they cannot function without their meds, and I sympathise with that view. But perhaps this belief is reinforced by strong withdrawal effects of these drugs, which are well-known. So somebody who has been on the drug for a while tries coming off, they have strong withdrawal symptoms, and they think "I can't cope without this drug, I must go back on it". Perhaps this is where tapering can help, because it helps people come off drugs (if they choose to do so) while reducing withdrawal effects.

    Edit: The report was from 2017 but I still find it interesting. More info about it can be seen here: https://www.ohchr.org/en/documents/thematic-reports/ahrc3521-report-special-rapporteur-right-everyone-enjoyment-highest

    8
  • What Helped—and What Didn’t Help—My Recovery

    I found this article interesting.

    The website is known for its critical view of psychiatry, which I think is good. Any field with as much power as psychiatry (being allowed to lock people up and drug them) should be approached from a critical perspective.

    Psychiatrists would argue that their methods are well-intentioned, but are their methods helpful? The author of the article thinks some of the methods are not helpful.

    2
  • Why anxiety makes you notice more negative things
    piped.video Piped

    An alternative privacy-friendly YouTube frontend which is efficient by design.

    Piped

    I haven’t watched the other videos in the series, but I found this one pretty interesting about anxiety and trauma / adverse experiences can lead to “only seeing the bad things.”

    Let me know what you all think of it.

    5
  • Traumatic memories are processed differently in PTSD
    www.livescience.com Traumatic memories are processed differently in PTSD

    People with PTSD feel like they're reliving past experiences in the present. This may be tied to how the brain processes memories of those experiences.

    Traumatic memories are processed differently in PTSD
    0
  • Violence and Mental Illness: Disseminating Fact and Dispelling Fiction
    thereflectiveequilibrium.blogspot.com Violence and Mental Illness: Disseminating Fact and Dispelling Fiction

    Table of Contents: Introduction What is Serious Mental Illness? Is there a Link between Serious Mental Illness and Violence? Psychosocial ...

    Violence and Mental Illness: Disseminating Fact and Dispelling Fiction

    I've gotten so fed up arguing about mental illness and violence, I wrote a blog post setting the record straight.

    I have ads turned off and I am not benefitting in any way from my blog. Just want to compile and share information.

    TL;DR: Only 3-5% of violent acts can be attributed to those with SMI [20], co-occurring substance use plays the most pivotal role [24], many psychosocial contextual factors influence violent acts [11], and while individuals with SMI are potentially 2.1% more likely than those without a mental illness to be violent [4], they are 10 times more likely to be victims of violence themselves. [20]

    There does not exist a strong association between severe mental illness and violent behavior in general. ...the notion that mentally ill individuals are violent is a harmful myth that only serves to further stigmatize an already disadvantaged population.

    This behavior is detrimental to the 26% of our (U.S.) population suffering from a diagnosed mental illness. [10] The false claims that individuals with SMI are dangerous and responsible for mass shootings and acts of extremism need to be called out for the harmful lies that they are.

    2
  • The longer I'm stuck in this world the more I understand why villains in movies want to destroy it.

    It's been almost 8 months since I graduated Uni. No one wants to hire a student with no experience. Been living in my parents basement for all that time. Been working nearly every single day trying to better myself for a job to no avail. Been drowning in debt for nearly 10 years. Mom hasn't been able to work due to health problems. Dad just diagnosed with the worst possible disease you can think about so he can't work. It all falls to me to work. Family had to resort to a social assistance to pay the basics requirement for bills. Owe Sister and aunts money. All my friends have moved away or too busy to talk or do anything. Last meaningful relationship, which entails just talking and doing nothing more, was about 5 years ago. And no matter what I do, who I turn to for help, how much I kill myself trying to get a job, how much I try to better this situation, it all ends up with another rejection email, another message left on read, another email with no response, and more debt that I can never repay back.

    Yeah, I get why villains want to destroy the world in movies. The world sucks, everyone sucks, there's no good people in this world. Miracles don't exist, dreams are just imaginary, everyone doesn't care about you or what you're going through.

    And like everything else I've tried doing to help, this won't get any attention. It seems like the universe forgot I existed or just made me to torment me. Because it just seems that I'm just a shadow in a dark place.

    Forgotten and alone.

    13
  • Inside the rising ‘muscle dysmorphia crisis’ among young men
    www.dazeddigital.com Inside the rising ‘muscle dysmorphia crisis’ among young men

    Defined as a preoccupation with one’s perceived lack of muscularity, muscle dysmorphia is becoming increasingly prevalent, causing what experts are calling a ‘silent crisis’ in men’s mental health

    Inside the rising ‘muscle dysmorphia crisis’ among young men

    Defined as a preoccupation with one’s perceived lack of muscularity, muscle dysmorphia is becoming increasingly prevalent, causing what experts are calling a ‘silent crisis’ in men’s mental health

    48
  • Today undid a lot

    Today I learned that my ex has been stalking me online.

    It's not worth going into any details beyond that she dug out some old post of mine on the fediverse. She's not someone I would expect to come here, but she went looking anyway and used it as an excuse to try and hurt me yet again.

    I'm terrified that I'm going to have to file for an intervention order, I honestly thought she would be the one person who would respect being blocked but she made the effort to contact me regardless. It terrifies my that I don't know this person anymore, I have no idea what she's capable of and I have no idea where I'm safe anymore.

    The one silver lining has been me finally learning to trust my friends, I've had so much support in such a short time that I feel truely blessed.

    I'd just managed to put the last of my anxiety to rest a few short weeks ago, and now this. I know I'll get better again, but a setback like this has me scared that I'm going backwards again.

    9
  • A single dose of IV ketamine reduces suicidal thoughts within one day and for up to one week
    ajp.psychiatryonline.org The Effect of a Single Dose of Intravenous Ketamine on Suicidal Ideation: A Systematic Review and Individual Participant Data Meta-Analysis

    Objective: Suicide is a public health crisis with limited treatment options. The authors conducted a systematic review and individual participant data meta-analysis examining the effects of a single dose of ketamine on suicidal ideation. Method: Individual participant data were obtained from 10 of 1...

    The Effect of a Single Dose of Intravenous Ketamine on Suicidal Ideation: A Systematic Review and Individual Participant Data Meta-Analysis

    cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/8180477

    > Why this is significant: There is no currently known treatment to stop suicidal thoughts when they happen. Antidepressants take 4-6 weeks to start working, and they don't work for everyone. Therapy also takes time. Our best option for acutely suicidal people is to lock them up in a psychiatric facility until they are no longer a threat to themselves. > > Intravenous ketamine offers a glimpse of hope. A single dose appears able to alleviate suicidal ideation immediately after administration and for up to a week afterwards.

    21
  • How can I stop feeling guilty about the past?

    I've worked really hard getting a certification and landed an excellent part time job. I'm in college and my grades are the best they've ever been despite my increased workload but I can't stop constantly thinking about the past. There isn't a moment in time where I don't feel anxious, as if I don't deserve this relative success I'm having. I feel like a fraud. I don't know if I'm making any sense.

    11
  • How close do you think we are to the end of human civilization?

    When will it be over? When can we start to breathe again?

    17
  • Just booked a week-long trip to Puerto Rico for Thanksgiving!

    So my last post here was a tad bit on the negative side, so this post will balance that out with some positive news. As terrifying as it is right now to me, I just booked myself a week-long vacation to Puerto Rico. Solo. By myself. I'm certainly thrilled as well as terrified. But, I feel like this is the kind of move I need to make to help lament my new-found independence since I'm getting divorced; that, and it beats putzing around my apartment by myself. At least this way, I can make my mark and some memories.

    By the way, if anybody has any traveling tips, I'm all eyes.

    5
  • Alzheimer's Breakthrough: Revolutionary Blood Biomarker Discovery
    buyutter.com Alzheimer's Breakthrough: Revolutionary Blood Biomarker Discovery | BuyUtter

    Alzheimer's breakthrough: Pittsburgh researchers discover blood biomarkers' link to astrocyte activation and amyloid burden.

    Alzheimer's Breakthrough: Revolutionary Blood Biomarker Discovery | BuyUtter

    Cutting-Edge Research Challenges Prevailing Amyloid Theory The University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine has made a groundbreaking ceremony uncovering the field of Alzheimer’s disease.

    0
  • RANT: out of gas

    I'm fucking tired of explaining to business ghouls that I AM FUCKING DESPERATE. I'M INTERVIEWING WITH YOU BECAUSE I WANT TO SURVIVE. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT MY DREAMS OR WHETHER THIS JOB OR YOUR COMPANY LINES UP WITH MY CAREER GOALS. WE ARE HOLY-SHIT PAST THE POINT WHERE I'M ABLE TO BE CHOOSY. ALL YOU FUCKING NEED TO DO IS READ THE FUCKING RESUMÉ THAT'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR GOD-DAMNED EYES, ASK ABOUT MY QUALIFICATIONS, AND TELL ME WHETHER OR NOT I'M A GOOD FIT.

    NO, your company isn't special to me, and it isn't special to ANYONE but you and your business-ghoul friends. Your company is merely the LABEL that will decorate my paycheck and LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE, AND I'M SICK OF PRETENDING OTHERWISE.

    And WHY the FUCK are you calling me to literally REPEAT SHIT YOU'RE TOO FUCKING IGNORANT TO READ ON THE GOD-DAMNED FUCKING RESUMÉ?

    I've applied for at least 200 engineering jobs (I recounted the ones on job sites; but even that's nowhere near all of them) this year and gotten zero offers. This job search is LITERALLY DRIVING ME INSANE, because I can no longer fucking afford antidepressants and I'm on the verge of blowing up in people's faces all the goddamn fucking time. I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE.

    > Try [insert nearby industry here]

    Funny story: turns out, there are people who studied for degrees in those nearby industries. No I can't land a software developer, data scientist, IT, etc., job, because (1) I've applied for all those several times and not even gotten an interview and (2) my school produces students who actually studied those topics as a major!

    So thank you genuinely to the dozens of people who have recommended that, I really do appreciate the help ... but that only works if you're an appealing candidate in general.

    > Why are you unhirable?

    Bad GPA (~2.8; many firms have hard cutoff > 3 or 3.1), no experience/internships, no support/professional network, recent downward trajectory on transcript, autistic, mentally ill getting more unstable by the day, terrible attitude that's impossible to fully hide, no charisma to accommodate for my deficiencies, no access to a time machine. I KNOW how I got here, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

    At least when I worked in food delivery I managed to make non-trivial money. AT LEAST I WAS HAPPY while being exploited. Now I'm thousands of dollars in debt, literally a hundred pounds heavier, psychologically and emotionally BROKEN, and no closer to getting a real job than I was before.

    30
  • Do you ever feel like people hold you at arm's length?

    I'm someone who craves (and thrives) on intimacy and closeness. I'm never been afraid to be vulnerable (I'd actually had to learn that I shouldn't be vulnerable with everyone). I love it when someone is really passionate about something, even if that thing bores me to tears. I love hearing about peoples' hopes, fears, dreams, opinions...

    But I often feel like people hold me at arm's length. Like they say, "OP, I like you, you're interesting, but stay right there."

    And it doesn't seem like it's a matter of following the "relationship journey" either. It seems like eventually I hit a wall of someone not wanting me to come any closer. And it hurts.

    Being neuroatypical I do realize I have an intense personality so people may not know how to interact with me. That may be part of it.

    Anyone else experience this? How do you cope?

    11
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