Programmer Humor @programming.dev masimatutu @nerdica.net 11 mo. ago

It's that time of the year again!

files.mastodon.social/media_at…

59 comments

No closing semicolon, anyone got any extras to throw on this thing?
- ; found this in the back for you should still work though
  
  Can confirm.
- At the very least I'd try to clean up that fuzzy condition on behavior to anticipate any bad or inconsistent data entry.
  
  WHERE UPPER(TRIM(behavior)) = 'NICE'
  
  Depending on the possible values in behavior, adding a wildcard or two might be useful but would need to know more about that field to be certain. Personally I'd rather see if there was a methodology using code values or existing indicators instead of a string, but that's often just wishful thinking.
  
  Edit: Also, why dafuq we doing a select all? What is this, intro to compsci? List out the values you need, ya heathen ;)
  
  (This is my favorite Xmas meme lol)
  
  behavior is an ENUM.
  
  That’s a table scan, right there. Naughty.
- Need to normalize the database. I would add a join to a BehaviorTypes table.
  
  Edit: or, if the only options are naughty or nice, make it a boolean.
- Honest question, which ones wouldn't it work with? Most add a semicolon to the end automatically or have libraries and interfaces saved me a million times?
  
  Other reply s accurate but it's always a good practice to include the semicolon else you can get
  
  "Bobby tables'ed" look that xkcd comic up
  
  Usually with libraries like jdbc or whatever and prepared statements you don’t need the semicolon.
- You need semicolons if it is a script with multiple commands to separate them. It is not needed for a single statement, like you would use in most language libraries.
  
  If you don't use a semicolon directly in MySQL it won't do anything until you add it.
- Can we get a SIMILARITY?
That SELECT and WHERE are all caps, but from is not is bugging me.

I don't care if you choose to uppercase keywords or lowercase, but consistency please.

Also, great, love it.
- it also implies that naughty or nice is an either or thing and not a weighted thing from an incidents table. the good place lied to us.
  
  It could be a materialized view that is generated off of a weighting where you are nice until you have a certain number of incidents.
Guess that settles the debate, we got to pronounce it "sequel" then to optimally match syllables
- Uuugghhh noooo! Ess Kyoo Ell!! ESS KYOO ELL!!! brandishes flaming pitchfork!
- Squirrel works too though.
  
  The Australian pronunciation works… “squi-rell”. Common American one is somehow just one syllable, “Skwurl”
  
  Yes but he serves a different community
- "Squill"
- Sequel to what?
- The only people I know who actually call it ess queue ell are either too new to know the "sequel" pronunciation, or the type of person you generally smell before you see.
  
  I say ess cue ell for the sake of uniformity because it's not Mysequel nor Postgresequel and the language changed from Sequel to the acronym SQL in the 70s so not really in the "too new" ballpark anymore.
  
  Here in Germany everyone I know pronounces the letters individually – as German letters that is, which means the Q is pronounced "coo" rather than "cue". I don't mind it, it's not quite as clunky as in English.
  
  I do say sequel when speaking English though.
  
  I'm neither, I refuse to pronounce acronyms if it doesn't make sense to do so.
  
  Same thing with 'gooey' for GUI, except I hate that even more because that straight up elicits feelings of disgust, I don't want anything gooey anywhere near any electronics
wait until it hits little bobby tables...

https://xkcd.com/327/
- He drops when you are sleeping. He drops when you’re awake.
  
  Come they told me, pa rum pum pum pum A new born King to see, pa rum pum pum pum Our finest gifts we bring, pa rum pum pum pum To lay before the King, pa rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,
  
  So to honor Him, pa rum pum pum pum, When we come.
  
  Little Bobby, pa rum pum pum pum I am a poor boy too, pa rum pum pum pum I have no gift to bring, pa rum pum pum pum That's fit to give the King, pa rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,
  
  Shall I play for you, pa rum pum pum pum, On my unsanitized database inputs?
  
  ...
dammit bobby tables is on the naughty list again
I can't be the only one disappointed by the lack of an order by clause after being told the list was being sorted (twice!)...
Can anyone recommend a cheap receipt printer that takes pictures from a pc or phone? I want to print mtg tokens on the fly.
- Permanently Deleted
  
  Weird that we never consider that for retail workers though…
- Pencil
- Gameboy Pocket. Gameboy Camera. Gameboy Printer.
  
  Both the perfect balance of “nostalgia” and “ridiculous”.
- do you have a paper and pencil ?
  
  you could do pseudo-tokens
Query OK, 0 rows affected
He sees you when you’re bashing

He’s hacked your VPN
- He knows you're not in the sudoers file
  
  So he'll report your ass again
  
  Permanently Deleted
I was reading that to the tune of the chorus of The Distance by Cake. It worked until the last line.
- Lol that actually works so well
The beginning maps perfectly to "The Distance" by Cake and I was singing along to that tune as I read.
- Cut to Mrs Claus baking a spice cake:
  
  She's all alone, all alone, in her time of spice
Love it keep em coming
I started this in my head sounding like the singer from Cake.

You've viewed 59 comments.