Immediately kill myself as quick as possible. That's genuinely one of my worst fears is being entered by a bug. I have an obsessive habit of wiping the inside/underneath the lip of the toilet every time I use it just in case there could be a spider. There has never been a spider. Yet I'm compelled to do it every single time.
Im always that guy but i would go to some kind of official or something so they csn investigate it because thats some freaky shit. Also to not ruin the whole fucking ecosystem of earth id guess theres a range on it? Thats what i would try to figure out so i can keep em out. Of course if i dont act in time and/or fail to accomplish my mission to keep em out of my ass i would just violently fucking kill myself. Its not worth it to live with fucking bugs in your ass.
Station my chameleon by my booty and prepare to shoot myself in the face.
Imagine every insect that can walk, crawl, or fly bombarding your dwelling. Fuck it, throw arachnids in there as well. They will find a way in, you will be covered head-to-toe in swarming insects of 1,000 varieties.
Depending on where you live, you got a hour, maybe a whole day. But they'll eventually break the windows and doors. At that time, your ass will belong to them.
In other news, I'm considering a new horror short.
A great deal of what we'd call insects outside of the scientific community are so small you can either barely see them or can't see them at all unaided. The larger bugs would be getting sloppy seconds.
First, I save this meme to my phone.
Second, I attempt to legally enter the US.
Third, I have all my rights revoked and get kidnapped by ICE.
Fourth, I wait and watch as the insects all get eaten before they can get to me.
See, being detained by Trump and his lizard people doesn't have to be all bad.