3y ago

What treat class are you?

Treat Defender:

"Let people enjoy things"
Just wants to shut brain off and relax
Shit taste

Treat Assassin:

Powerful crit(icism)s
Appears out of nowhere and identifies flaws and weaknesses you never would've noticed but now can never ignore again
Mysteriously fades into shadows when their own treats come under attack

Treat Mage:

Nuanced, insightful analysis, can find positive/negative aspects in just about anything
Flexible offensive and defensive options
Susceptible to bullying, avoids direct confrontation

Treat Paladin:

Likes good things
Doesn't like bad things
Simple as
Nobody wants to hang with them because they feel threatened by their moral superiority and obviously correct takes

Treat Cleric:

Long list of rules for not engaging with things that others find frustrating and arbitrary
Has one specific domain of treat they enjoy
Wouldn't watch a Miyazaki movie because it's anime
Somehow keeps being right about stuff

Treat Warlock:

"So bad it's good," cult classics
Will happily explain how their favorite treat is problematic in ways you never would've considered
Lack of practical effects their third biggest issue with capitalism
Nobody told them irony is dead

TYS, add your own

31 comments

Treat Druid:
Can explain in detail the mechanisms of capitalism that make their favorite treat a crime against humanity
Smokes too much weed to forget about it all
Clinically depressed
Only really gets serotonin from the natural world and Cuban progressivism
Spends too much time watching the treat warlock explain things
Treat Orc:
Is happy eating slop
Doesn't care about anything or anyone's treat so long as I have my own
Will fight you if you try to talk trash about my slop
Expensive treats are gross to me, can't understand them
- :gigachad:
- You should be in my party
Treat Monk:
Only consumes obscure and esoteric media.
Sounds cool in principle, but ends up with utterly insufferable takes on just about everything.
Brings up completely random comparisons which almost work, but not quite.
Never wins an argument. Just keeps going until everyone else gets bored and leaves.
- Oh man I just remembered that white buddhist Monk guy that joined the chapo discord and got totally shit on for being a weird chauvinist who moved to Myanmar and didn't even bother to learn the language.
  
  i wonder where they are now after the military takeover :thonk:
I wanna be a treat bard
loudly sing the praises of my favorite treat, even if it's something popular
get people excited to share the love of my treat
pretends my treat is more intellectual/refined/tasteful than it actually is
annoying/useless
- just liek garfield
  
  :garf-troll:
- that's lawful evil treat bards I wanna be chaotic neutral
Treat Barbarian.
• fuck you and fuck your treats.
• Holy shit bubbles are awsome. We are going to play with bubbles now.
• I found a stick
Treat Blood Mage:
can articulate what treats and behaviors are associated with characteristics (BP) and bloodwork results (triglycerides, cortisol)
affects all party members with Doom status
after heavy intake of sodium, has precognitive and remote viewing clairvoyance during Salt Dreams
encyclopedic knowledge of action/adventure movies from 1980-1999
Treat Thief, I exclusively consume pirated media.
- Reminder (if you're in a hellhole where a VPN is needed for torrenting) to bind your network adapter in qbittorrent to your VPN so that in the event your VPN drops it doesn't automatically fail over into the host ("real") network interface and expose your ip for copyright claims.
  This is found under settings -> advanced -> network Interface.
  Also reminder that any game that you definitely legally own that only uses steamdrm can be played offline by using the Goldberg Steam emulator. Check the readme on that project page for more information/instructions.
  
  I just use private trackers, never bothered with a VPN and I've been torrenting since it was a thing.
- My first thought was that a M1 Abrams could easily break any toy, but that would describe Treat Barbarian.
I'm a treat berserker - I consume them uncontrollably and then become disproportionately angry with myself about it
I vibe with treat cleric so hard but I'm gonna go with...
Treat Druid
thinks if they make their own versions of treats, the treats won't be categorized as treats
fridge full of Mystery Jars(tm). Is it a propagated yeast culture for home brew? Is it a variant of simple syrup? Is it bokashi serum? Try it and find out!
starting to suspect they're an unironic posadist
constantly trying to get you to start growing your own weed
often shares the dubious products of making their own treats
Treat Cleric
get that proprietary code away from me :bern-disgust:
We should have these next to our pronoun flairs
- TheLepidopterists - he/him treat assassin
I was thinking that none of these come even close to describe my complex relationship with treats but then I read Treat Warlock and I realized :stuff:
Necromancer: i will never stop restarting the Tolkein struggle session :sicko-pig:
- treat necromancer could also be like someone obsessed with penny dreadfuls or 1920s pulp magazines but in an even weirder non-ironic way
  "yo, you have gotta watch my favorite movie. It's from 1913, it's called The Lovely Horse Gallop."
Treat Elf
Deep analysis of my treats via multiple theoretical frameworks
Appreciation for a wide variety of treats, not just the ones I like the most
Understanding of the full context and history of treats
Haven't watched or listened to a new treat in at least a decade

31 comments

Treat Barbarian.