Weird kink though

It's just bdsm.

Bacon During Sexual Moments

... I have to apologize to my girlfriend.
- Dude......your girlfriend brought up bdsm and you said NO???
  Your girlfriend needs a new partner....

Jokes on her, Ive met my dad so now her life just seems extra sad.

Well, better that than the sink

Ah, the ol' throat sink.

Would

Her or the dad?
- Both seem fun.
- I've done worse for bacon
…suggestively open a bucket of lard making eye contact to her.

I became disappointed when I zoomed in to realize she had a wallet chain and not a sproingy yellow coiled lanyard thing that was somehow attached to her phone. (Sorry, Amazon link: One of these)
I don’t know why. I guess I just thought the idea was kind of cute and fun. This dad-fucking, bacon grease swilling, subway texter uses a cute little bouncy cord thing to keep her phone handy, amidst an otherwise austere getup - just a zany detail to contrast with the rest. Alas. Just a boring ass wallet chain.

👀 I'm sorry to say this, but I actually might be getting some version of these. It WOULD be cute, imo, and they (especially the brightly-colored ones) make me feel little nostalgic.
I lose my phone embarrassingly frequently. I have a wrist/necklace strap now, but I really don't enjoy walking around with my annoyingly heavy phone dangling from my neck/wrist all the time, so I rarely actually use them.
I'll probably be finding away to attach a keyring to my TV remote, too 🙄
- Don’t be sorry to say that! I think the idea is pretty darn cute. When everyone tells you how amazingly stylish, practical, and clever you are, remember me!
  (But take all the credit for the idea for yourself - unless some poor fashionless soul doesn’t like it, then definitely blame me for a bad suggestion.)
  My wife has one of the neck strap ones, and she doesn’t like wearing it for the same reason. My brain just assumed they took one of the mounting plates from one of those and hooked it to one of those sproingy straps.
  Remotes are tough. We have a dedicated holder that is just where each remote goes as soon as it is no longer touching a hand, because they otherwise do get lost. Despite that, I’ve even considered 3d printing an AirTag holder that I can glue to the remotes, although that would just mean pointing my phone at the couch while it tells me they’re somewhere ‘in there.’
What a fortnight!

is your dad... the greasy strangler!

for the blissfully ignorant:

https://youtu.be/k0sk7QsZF64?si=Vkd8NV2zXI-GKq-i

Even the trailer is completely demented.

It's worth watching if you like. really really weird shit, I can't say I've ever seen anything exactly like it before.

If you reversed the gender on this you'd the comment section would be a combination of roasting the hypothetical dude and complaining how trashy the shirt is.

I don't even think the double standard is related to sexism. I think you're all horny degenerates who are emotionally stunted to the point where any woman implying anything sexual breaks your mind.

I think you underestimate how gay lemmy is.
- Honestly fair. My bad for not factoring gay people in my consideration of how people on this site are sex starved horny degenerates.
I actually disagree with that, if I saw a larger gentleman wearing this I'd feel proud of him for owning his thing with self-depracating humour, and think it was funny, the same as I do here.
nah i'd be here supporting them 100%
Nah it's just a fatty with a weird excuse. The gender doesn't matter at all.

Clearly, our fathers are trying to give her a massive heart attack before our mothers hear about this lady's affairs.

Is that chain attached to a popsocket on her phone? That's hilarious

I think the chain is just to be pretty, attached to her pants on both sides.
- Yep. Looks like a hanging loop from behind to the front and back through the belt loops on her left side. Purely decorative.
I thought the same thing and I'm still not convinced that's not what's going on. I remember in the '90s so many people were putting chains to their wallets, you know wear your money is... Well your cell phone is probably attached to one of your accounts, so it's money. This weirdly makes sense to me.
- I think it makes perfect sense, and a cool retro throwback. Fashion is cyclical after all! But I think the other poster was correct and she just has it fed through 2 belt loops.

Is that a brag or a threat?

Yes
- Epic reddit moment

2edgy4me

Same!

HOLY FUCKING SHIT I NEED THIS

That just makes me sad for both of them.

Is being this large a genetic trait?

Depends on what ya mean by large, if ya mean for example broad shoulder with somewhat odd muscle distribution maybe. But no most folks are just overweight, I have both I am five foot five so its actually accentuated somewhat.

Seems like an approachable woman. Must be fun at parties. 🤔

she probably is cool as hell actually
- I guess if you're an angry Karen.
She's probably the type that calls others fatphobic because they looked at her .0001 seconds

Cringe.

She must have been fucking our dads every night for years.

Edit: Lol at the downvotes, if you want to wear an edgy shirt in public you're going to have to expect some edgy retorts and furthermore I think anything that attempts to normalise obesity is absolutely terrible. I know I have to accept that some people are fat, and good for her if she's happy at that size, but I don't have to accept edgy excuses for someone else's poor choices.

You didn't get any replies yet you decided to edit your comment to argue with an imaginary opponent. Mate, take a breath.
- I answered him one hour ahead of your reply :(
- 37 downvotes, yet no one brave enough to put their neck on the line and offer a counterpoint. So yh, I made an assumption and yet still no one has made a counterpoint which means I'm probably right 🤷🏼‍♂️
I think it's cool and our dads are lucky.
You do have to accept that you sometimes have bad takes like errybody else, and this is one of them.
It's not because you made a bad joke, its because you lack the emotional intelligence necessary to ask some things:
The likely continuous comments on her figure that caused her to wear this retort
The fact that if you werent gonna make a comment to her shes not talking to you
These 2 things are often conflated in folks who haven't trained their empathy up, and i suspect you feel like you took damage because even tho you're not in the room your acting like she's insulted you.
I know I have to accept that some people are fat
You don't, you have to accept your humanity, which means you're the same ugly mess of hair and stink and poo as the rest of us. It means you are an unfit judge. Somebody thinks you're ugly. Someone out there thinks you're a piece of shit. I think you're just young. You need to understand your place, and you straight up fuckin' dont.
To be a bit unfair youre probably a little too full of yourself, you'll get over it if you put in work.
- I was probably just downvoted by fat people, my dad must've been putting in overtime.
your retort sucks because you're trying to own her by saying something she already acknowledges. weak af.
"I'm fat because I fucked your dad"
"oh yeah? well you're fat!"
...
"I bet you fucked my dad a lot!"
genius insults
For what it’s worth, I think you dished out a sick burn. Well done.
- Lemmy is full of socially maladapted terminally online autists who literally do not understand how humor works.
anything that attempts to normalise obesity is absolutely terrible
Boy have you missed the boat on that one. By several decades.
At least she's acknowledging her weight is due to overeating.
- People seem to love to jump to this assumption without acknowledging any fallibility, when in reality you don't know from just looking at someone. Even if it's a likely reason, it's not the only one. I'm going to at least hope you aren't a doctor based on this single sentence.

Trashy fatty. Imagine a group of kids reading her shirt.

People seem to think children will get brain damage if they see anything sexual even in writing.
- But not gore...
  I remember reading about the show Hannibal where there was a scene that was originally shot where you could see a butt crack gasp! so to make it more suitable for the children they filled the crack with viscera from the dude who was torn open...
- Last thing I need is parenting opinions from childless kids barely out of high school
Have you ever been on the average Call of Duty lobby? Kids have read and said far worse than this. Kids are going to learn curse words regardless of what you do.
- And according to those lobbies they've had way more sex than most of us. They seem to really like mothers.
Fuck you
- Careful, she’s after your retirement grease!
Agree it's trashy but also fuck them kids
- Finally, someone in this thread gets it.
Imagine going around shaming everything that you don't like — not realizing that some find this to be their fetish.
That life seems miserable.
- Wearing trashy shirts on public transit is a fetish? So what if I wear a shirt that says "you're a fat ass cause you won't stop eating" is that free speech or?