Cant tell how sincere this is but lol

Metal Gear Rising really is the funniest one on this list. The game's main antagonist is Dick Cheney with nanomachines who verbatim says he wants to "Make America Great Again" a full two years before the Trump campaign starts. You kill an insane amount of cops. One of the bosses, who is shown to be nothing more than a psychopath who enjoys war, wants the world to go back to "the good old days after 9/11" when arms manufacturers could do anything they wanted. It portrays a world where war is nothing but a vehicle for profit, and the main characters realises he wants nothing to do with this, leaves his PMC outfit, and fights for himself against these evil corporations. It's not subtle, in the slightest. I have no idea how you can read this game as conservative.

essential commiecore:

• spider solitaire
• harvest moon ds
• purble place
• morphman
• hyrule warriors definitive edition
• battle tetris
• bloons tower defence 5
• banjo-kazooie: grunty's revenge
• hotel dusk
• cartoon network's summer resort, episode 3

Darktide

DoA Xtreme

Nobody ever actually played those

Fallout 3, CoD4, and MGRR

The bad guys are literally the US government lmao

These games are all either a handful of explicitly NOT conservative games, military shooters, a couple games that sexualize women, and then just "games I like".

DoA: Xtreme Beach Volleyball

Zelda OOC

Fuck offfffffff

So the core of their ideology is "I LIKE KILLING THE OTHERFIED LESSERS. I IGNORE EVERYTHING ELSE SAID BECAUSE KILLING THE LESSERS IS THAT EXCITING." I already knew that, but they're helpfully pointing it out.

Can you really call this the "conservative essentials" without gems like Custer's Revenge and Hatred?

The basic rimworld colony is basically anarcho communist, what the hell.

Ah yes, Silent Hill 3, where you play as a woman and perform an abortion on a god, where all the religious people are depicted as murderous lunatics and the most powerful deity in the game is a disabled woman.

The funniest part is that the original tweet that triggered the chud was this

I would say a third of those games make sense.

Anything WW2, Shooters, and anything 40K related would be my assumptions. I would also throw in Madden. Top of the chud pile would be Call of Duty.

Oddly enough BioShock still has Ayn Rand fans despite the story. Naturally they can't understand that it is a deconstruction of Ayn Rand. They also say the only reason Rapture failed was because Ryan abandoned his ideals...

HE DID BECAUSE HE FUCKING HAD TO BECAUSE HE WAS LOSING UNDER HIS IDEALS. That is the entire point of that story. It's a self contradicting society.

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ocarina of time

Are they not offended by Sheik?

These games are really old.

They forgot Hogwarts

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but you kill Nazis in Sniper Elite and we've all seen that Republicans won't even denounce Nazis, let alone kill them.

What sort of fucked up reading of Silent Hill 3 do you have to have to make it a conservative game?

So I just checked the source, and I think this person is serious

Parasite Eve is the funniest one on there.

Mitochondria are definitely fascist.

Did they play Persona 4 and pick the wrong suspect at the end? That game is not sympathetic to their ideology lmao.

As you can see, Doom II isn't on the list because you can shoot Nazis in that game.

touhou

Fucking Mega Man Zero as Conserva core, my god this is beyond idiotic and I didn't even give it a good look :data-laughing:

Lmao I love how many of these I've played and yet I'm posting here

I would say anyone partaking in anime or video games is a degenerate and completely incompatible with conservative tradlife.

(Edit: I'm pro degenerate btw don't wanna get shit twisted.)

There is no time for games you should be getting wifed up and poping out kids and working 18/hr a day every day except Sunday where you go to church. Video games are the devil after all.

So no, there are no "conservative video games".

Which route do you think conservatives take in Three Houses? And who do they ship?

Actually, you should play squad but only as the PLA so you can dome imperialists.

Red Alert 1 is essentially anti-communist propaganda. Red Dawn but set in Europe and also an RTS.

my take is all video games are conservative and video games that are about killing people are fascist

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I wouldn't call Stalker or Metro conservative either

yeah i read theory

Silent Hill 3?!

I need to know the Silent Hill 3 explanation. Like what's the bit or what's the reason, one of the two

For anyone confused just remember that a "conservative gamer" is good ng to be kind of a dumbass and be almost entirely media illiterate.

Everything on here will be there because of

• played it when they were a kid and liked it a lot
• aesthetics
• presence of cultural signifiers

My favorite conservative bideo gaems, Parasite Eve and Dino Crisis.

NOT MY FIRE EMBLEM 3 HOUSES IT BASICALLY HAS A COMMUNIST REVOLUTION TO OVERTHROW THE LANDLORD CLASS

Horror can be reactionary but it cannot be conservative. As a genre, horror is defined by its subversive elements. Remove those from a horror game and all that you're left with is a poorly lit walking simulator.

So lets see, we have:

Literal CIA funded military shooters,

games like Fallout, Space Marine and Bioshock that are satires making fun of conservatives,

Games like Zelda whose story is just an excuse to go dungeon crawling,

Persona 4 checks out though, conservatives love games where they get the option to groom underage girls,

Mega Man?!

Morrowind? I played Morrowind as an Argonian and spent a good chunk of the game freeing slaves and killing slave owners. Not exactly conservative unless you play the most boring character.

Hmm they seem to enjoy FPS games but Wolfenstein is suspiciously missing

Great list of games for sure