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chapotraphouse @hexbear.net

pooh [she/her, love/loves] @hexbear.net

1y ago

What in the fuck

55 comments

Straight up; we need better sex education so people can learn how to masturbate.
- The surgeon general that suggested that in the most vague way in the 90s got fired.
- You mean, watching American Pie is not enough?
Every single person with a penis has done this at least once but most of us don't write a book about it
EDIT: this is clearly a class divide and the bourgeoisie are showing their ass in the comments (it has a golden buttplug in it)
- cant say ive done this
  
  This is because you are a coward
  
  That's right you can't say it.
- You could not waterboard that information out of me.
  
  Take it to your grave, comrade. We'll keep it in the dark.
- Lmao y'all are a bunch of couch fuckers
- I went to a reputable sex shop and bought a nice masturbation sleeve. It's hypoallergenic and since it's made from silicon it's easy to clean and sterilize, while being safe and comfortable for your skin.
  
  Nerd! I ran the garden hose til the earth was just soft enough and I fucked the muddy hole in the ground
  
  Bourgeois decadence
- nah that's fucking weird
  Death to America
- Bro my gock is for slicing and dicing not pounding a couch
- No…
- Hell naw 😂
- extremely loud incorrect buzzer
- Shoot me if I ever do this
- I’m not ape brained enough to fuck my couch. Now, a pringles can on the other hand
Hold up, I thought you were supposed to use two dish sponges, a glove in the middle, and then rubber bands around the outside to hold the doohickey together. Furniture tends to have things like upholstery staples or zipper teeth where you least expect them.
- Under no circumstances should you use
  for this!
  
  Or should you?
- Two sponges, an empty pringles can, a few rubberbands and a condom was what I heard
COUNTRY GIRLS MAKE DO
[1] Vance, J.D. (2016). "Hillbilly Elegy". pp. 179-181, ISBN 978-0-00822-109-6
- pp
  Heh heh
Why turn it inside out
- To reuse it, duh
Link to tweet
(it's made up btw lol)
Implying Al Gore didn't do it
can't say for sure
Actually based
Vice presinald Fifi
hey, Trillbillies said he didn't mention his sexuality until page 209!
That's why I'm voting for Vice President Portnoy

55 comments