Straight up; we need better sex education so people can learn how to masturbate.
45 0 ReplyThe surgeon general that suggested that in the most vague way in the 90s got fired.
17 0 ReplyYou mean, watching American Pie is not enough?
14 0 Reply
Every single person with a penis has done this at least once but most of us don't write a book about it
EDIT: this is clearly a class divide and the bourgeoisie are showing their ass in the comments (it has a golden buttplug in it)
43 0 Replycant say ive done this
55 0 ReplyThis is because you are a coward
80 0 ReplyThat's right you can't say it.
49 0 Reply
You could not waterboard that information out of me.
49 0 ReplyTake it to your grave, comrade. We'll keep it in the dark.
34 0 Reply
Lmao y'all are a bunch of couch fuckers
36 0 ReplyI went to a reputable sex shop and bought a nice masturbation sleeve. It's hypoallergenic and since it's made from silicon it's easy to clean and sterilize, while being safe and comfortable for your skin.
26 0 ReplyNerd! I ran the garden hose til the earth was just soft enough and I fucked the muddy hole in the ground
23 0 ReplyBourgeois decadence
8 0 Reply
nah that's fucking weird
Death to America
18 0 ReplyBro my gock is for slicing and dicing not pounding a couch
18 0 ReplyNo…
15 0 ReplyHell naw 😂
10 0 Replyextremely loud incorrect buzzer
8 0 ReplyShoot me if I ever do this
5 0 ReplyI’m not ape brained enough to fuck my couch. Now, a pringles can on the other hand
4 0 Reply
Hold up, I thought you were supposed to use two dish sponges, a glove in the middle, and then rubber bands around the outside to hold the doohickey together. Furniture tends to have things like upholstery staples or zipper teeth where you least expect them.
38 0 ReplyUnder no circumstances should you use for this!
40 0 ReplyOr should you?
9 0 Reply
Two sponges, an empty pringles can, a few rubberbands and a condom was what I heard
25 0 Reply
COUNTRY GIRLS MAKE DO
37 0 ReplyWhat. the. fuck
14 0 Reply9 0 ReplyHello, volcel police?
8 0 ReplyGENTLEMEN, BEHOLD! CORN
5 0 ReplyUhh okay, I am pretty hungry. Thanks doc!
2 0 Reply
3 0 Reply
[1] Vance, J.D. (2016). "Hillbilly Elegy". pp. 179-181, ISBN 978-0-00822-109-6
34 0 Replypp
Heh heh
20 0 Reply
29 0 ReplyWhy turn it inside out
29 0 ReplyTo reuse it, duh
22 0 Reply
(it's made up btw lol)
26 0 Reply11 0 Reply
Implying Al Gore didn't do it
24 0 Replycan't say for sure
23 0 ReplyActually based
21 0 ReplyVice presinald Fifi
18 0 Replyhey, Trillbillies said he didn't mention his sexuality until page 209!
10 0 ReplyThat's why I'm voting for Vice President Portnoy
10 0 ReplyOh fuck. I misunderstood this for too long. I thought this meant he made some kind of dildo contraption with the glove, got on all fours, and got pounded by sofa cock
3 0 Reply