Dawkins

Neil deGrasse Tyson: "Oh shit, that's good. Write that down!"

in a mirror, you can kiss yourself, but only on the lips
- Something tells me Neil may have actually performed that experiment himself. For science.
- Oh, suddenly self love is a problem?!?

It's actually even more unlikely that they would be able to learn how to talk. This guy's clearly not a very good scientist if he missed that.

I'd be questioning the unique selective pressures that caused the hundred acre wood to produce sentient stuffing filled animals.
- I mean, if it's the Red Forest, anything is possible
- Darwin's got his finches, Dawkins has his teddy, each instrumental to the modern understanding of natural selection.
Or he knows something we don't...

Unlike with Neil DeGrasse Tyson, with Dawkins, I would be quite surprised if he brought that up without being quite specifically asked about it…

It's probably from an hour long portrait interview, in which they cover a lot of ground including favourite English literary pieces, and the interviewer tries to tie it to the guest. They would probably ask David Beckham which Harry Potter character he'd have on his football team.
- Viktor Krum perhaps?
Dawkins would have shitposted on Twitter with the best of them if he'd been born later
- Well, he does, actually.

But, now hear me out, what if there was also a rabbit?

Why stop there? Owl! Tiger! Kangaroo!
- Tigger. There's a double-guh.
- It's morphin' time!

Yeah, not with that attitude, Richard.

This looks like something from Viz magazine. They'll regularly have big one page jokes about something and then have these little made up side bits in.

Whole thing was probably about illegal immigrants taking small boats to the hundred acre wood and then there's this little bit in the bottom.

Here's an example. The thoughts of the 1966 world cup winning squad on the disappearance of Lord Lucan
Just as an example here's the thoughts of the 1966 world cup winning squad on the disappearance of Lord Lucan

I mean, he's a Tigger, not a Tiger, so that's off.

Bruh you can't just drop the t-word like that
I have a feeling that A.A. Milne might just wanted to call a character the N-word, then first had a dream about how badly it aged, then in a second one how far racist gamers can go to say at least a "censored" version of it online.

I don’t think those animals would be stitched together with cloth and stuffed with cotton, either.

I came here looking to see if anyone would point out that they are toy animals, not real ones.
- they are toy animals, not real ones
  
  A couple of them were real animals, and this is reflected in the stories.
  
  The two characters are
  
  Owl and Rabbit.
  
  In one of the stories, one of them says to the other "You and I have brains, the others have fluff".

Someone take Dawkins to a zoo.

I mean, the dude studied zoology at Balliol College, Oxford, so he is an expert on the matter...

And yet his statement is missing the oxford comma
- How dare him not to say that!

Buzzkill

"Richard Dawkins confirms intelligent design mostly likely explanation"

If someone released a donkey in East India this would be very plausible. Kangaroos on the other hand…

Yeah there's no way that Kanga hasn't beaten the shit out of them all already for getting too close to Roo, especially Tigger and Pooh.
Well, they're all stuffed animals, so Kanga probably isn't too worried about predation.
No bears here
- https://www.naturesafariindia.com/types-of-bear-species-found-in-india/

I'm sure there's regions where people have pigs and donkeys and there are bears and tigers in the woods.

However, it would not end up well for the pig or the donkey if they hung out

I like this guy less and less every day.

It is unlikely that this transphobe will be remembered in a positive light in ten years.

Uh oh, what did he do?
- He claimed several times that transpeople were just the gender version of "Black Face", so much so they rescinded one of his humanism awards
- Disagreed slightly with someone
- Iirc, he had a stroke and then became Twitter friends with JK Rowling.

This guy's smart. Where do I send money?

A tiger? What is he talking about? The thousand acre woods has a Tigger, but no tigers.