The real reason men grow beards

How about "it's easier then shaving everyday"?

8 years later - yup. Look at this thick, manly symbol of my lack of fucks.
- You can tell a good developer/sysadmin by the length of their beard. If they don't have to shave to get a job that means they're 1337
Yea. You can go 3 weeks without trimming and it just looks kinda full. You can go one day before a clean shave looks like you don't care about it.
It still ends up being more work than I’d hoped for (which was 0), but certainly less than staying clean shaven. That and my wife really likes it are my two biggest reasons.
Exactly. My lazy ass shaves every 2 to 3 weeks when it starts itching. In the summertime more often since a beard sucks when you try to wipe your sweat off....
- this is me. would keep in summer but it just gets uncomfortable. have a lot of stubble through the summer.

Appealing to prospective partners is not why I have a beard. Improving my standing with other men is not why I have a beard.

I have a beard because....I like it. It's for me. I was clean shaven for a year for a job and hated it so much I quit.

If you don't mind my asking, why do you think you hated it so much? Just hate the way it looks on you specifically?
- It made me look 10 years younger and I'd prefer to look my age
  Shaving is annoying. Occasional razor burn and cuts aside, it's an "all or nothing" style. If you miss a spot, it sticks out against the smooth skin
  Having to do it daily sucks especially for people like me who get 10am shadows. Post-shave stubble looks bad. Post-#1 trimmer stubble looks the same
  It's relaxing to scratch a beard and it doesn't feel good to scratch a freshly-shaven face.
  I trim my beard once a week and I can do it half asleep. it stays relatively nice and if I miss a spot, it mostly blends in. Sometimes during the week I will trim the couple of hairs that grow a little higher on my cheeks but even if I don't, it doesn't look too bad.
There can be other, individual reasons especially for "like", but that and "beauty" have a strong link to evolution. For example, a wolf wouldn't find a bowl of fruits beautiful.
What do you think exists "like" and "beauty" for?

It's not about hiding a weak jaw line? Jokes aside, it is interesting that a lot of the masculine activities we may have naively agreed were intended to attract women, are to repel other men and avoid competition.

Well what does my mustache say? That I'm sad the craft beer bubble burst?

Wait the craft beer bubble burst?
- The spirit is willing, but the hazy IPA is weak
Aren't we all?

Then it grew on the dog. It grew on the couch. It grew on the house and the neighborhoid block. It grew on the town, the county, the state. It grew on the Earth, the sun, all the way to Oort cloud. When it grew on Sagittarius A* we stopped keeping track.
- With a little more ridiculous imagery, that could've been a Shel Silverstein poem.
  Well, except he didn't write it...
- Aggressive growth...
My wife originally hated my beard, and now she doesn't like me clean shaven. I guess she got so used to it that any time I shave she says she prefers me with facial hair.
- Some people do look better with beard. Not that' it is a bad thing, me too. Well, "beard", 5mm.

When I shaved my cats wouldn't let me pet them. I couldn't deal with that kind of rejection.

Lol, you looked like someone else to them? Don't cats identify via nose too?
- It would probably even more upsetting to have someone smell like your ~~servant~~ owner without looking like him.
  Imagine if someone spoke to you sounding exactly like your mother but looking nothing like her

I have a beard because my fiancé says I have to keep it. I'd have a stubble face (clippers only, no razors) every day if I could.

Wtf

BBC still asks users to follow them on google+ ...

This article is from 2016.

There have been a lot of articles about men's beards since hipsters started rocking full beards in the last couple of decades, and they're often loaded with opinions against it. It's usually not more scientifically interesting than asking "why animals grow hair". They do, and nobody really cares enough to ask "why".

I'd rather like to know "the real reason men shave". That's somewhat more interesting, because it's something humans have created and there ought to be a reason why.

Also, shaving hurts.

WHAT? You're definitely doing it wrong if it hurts.
As in the occasional cuts or like actual constant pain? Not judging or anything just mildly concerned.
- General razor burn. I have pretty sensitive skin, drawing sharp metal over it repeatedly irritates it.
And expensive.
Its easier to just maintain beard with a pair of scissors.
- Expensive? My friend, buy a safety razor and you'll spend $6 on 25 blades that'll last you 7 months, if you're shaving every day and changing the blade once a week.
  These are the blades I use:
  https://vanderhagen.com/product/25-ct-razor-pack/
  And the razor I use:
  https://vanderhagen.com/product/85mm-chrome-basics-safety-razor/

Beards are makeup for men, change my mind.

Do nothing, and voilà! No makeup.
Do nothing, and voilà! Beard.
Beards take effort to remove, not to grow, and exist completely independently from human fashion and technology
- Beards do take effort if you don't wanna look like Robinson Crusoe.