Dr 4Chan's Medical Advice

That's assuming you could somehow stop new microplastic from entering the body

I mean, there is the argument that if they bioaccumulate in the blood, it's worth removing periodically even if it doesn't stop new intake
- No because you're making blood from nutrients with microplastics mixed in. That's how it would hypothetically accumulate there in the first place. If it were being filtered out of the blood by another organ then I could see a case for scraping/removal but if it's the blood then it's coming directly from your food and drink and will be the same ratio even after bloodletting and/or regeneration.
Microplastic leeches.

Just donate blood. Skip the infection risk.

I'm not donating my blood plastic for free!
- Oh great, now I have to worry about DuPont and Dow coming to repo my blood.
- New money making idea: plasma centers that filter microplastics.
- What if we give you a donut for it?
They won't take my blood.
- Welp, better make an appt with the leech doctor then
It also works on forever chemicals. They studied levels of PFAS in the blood of firefighters (who are commonly exposed to high levels in the foam they use), and found a clear difference between those that regularly donated blood and those who didn’t

i mean, as part of my job, i routinely take area hospitals medical grade leeches. it's not like they ever stopped being used by doctors.

Why would you use a leech instead of a needle or something? What are they for
- Not OP, but apparently they're useful for when you want a continuous, slow drain of blood. The ones they breed for hospitals don't carry disease, so you can just kinda plonk it onto the spot that you want blood out of, and replace it when it gets full
- Wait until you find out what they still use maggots for...
- It's less about the blood they suck out and more about their saliva. It's a natural anticoagulant.
- Amputation sites I think? The suction attracts blood flow to the area and supports healing/retention of blood vessels... I think. Neither one of us clearly can be bothered googling but that's what I recall...
- For skin grafts after burns; the leeches' saliva has anticoagulants that helps blood flow through the microvasculature (tiny blood vessels) of the area. This helps promote growth of new blood vessels, as well as improve the health of the current blood vessels in the area.
  TLDR: Helps tiny blood vessels in skin grafts (and other procedures), reduces failure of said skin grafts
- Others have already mentioned limb reattachment and anticoagulants, but if you're interested in learning more, I highly recommend a book called Dark Banquet: Blood and the Curious Lives of Blood-Feeding Creatures. Leeches, mosquitoes, bedbugs, and vampire bats are fascinating!

Makes me genuinely wonder.. I've donated blood for like 15 times now -- does that make my current blood less saturated with microplastics than if I hadn't?

No, because you eat and drink more microplastics to replenish yourself.
- Donate 100% of blood, then fast. You'll be microplastic free for the rest of your life!
- Donation won't eliminate microplastics, but it will probably reduce their levels. (It has been shown to reduce levels of other harmful substances.)
- Actually, it does reduce levels of PFAS.
I was thinking that a kidney dialysis machine might be able to filter out that stuff from your blood. I think the way those work is your blood goes out a tube into the machine and it filters it before sending it back to you. So you'd need filters in there that are fine enough to catch the microplastics.
- I don't think any filtering happens in dialysis, unwanted stuff just diffuses to another solution
Probably not. Unless they build up in the body somewhere, the amount of microplastics in your blood is determined by how many you consume via inhaled dust, food, and drink compared with how many you flush put via urine and/or fecal material.
If they do build up in the body somewhere, it probably isn't the blood, because blood is already filtered regularly.
I've read that's true for PFAS... It depends on where the microplastics are stored by your body

Microplastics are the only guaranteed source of your daily dose of Vitamin P, as recommended by nobody and discouraged by the FDA.

Fake News: The FDA would never protect you from petrochem.
Good thing I only listen to the FDB

This is why we donate blood.

This would be a powerful Red Cross ad.
Lower your microplastics count. Donate blood so you can make more.
- I wonder if they actually filter the blood that people donate. I know they test it, but it would be cool if they filtered it as well for various crap.
Correct!

Can anybody tell me why this is a bad idea

The food you consume to produce the blood also has micro plastic. Nothing changes.
- Yeah buts it's fresh micro plastic and not this stall stuff I've had in me for years.
- That should depend on how the chemicals accumulate though. If all the plastic ends up in your blood and never gets naturally filtered out, it could make sense. Maybe it builds up in your fat/muscles instead though, or gets filtered over time and the amount in your system is the same as the amount in what you have recently eaten, idk
That’s animal cruelty. (Feeding plastic-laden blood to leaches)
- Somehow I don't think they'd mind too much, provided you give them a nice leech habitat.
  Until Socraleech comes along and they force him to suck hemlock.
It's random internet advice?
- And 4Chan, which is the worst form of internet advice.
It isn't. Blood donation reduces PFASs and iron buildup (too much iron in the blood is bad). And leeches are used in certain procedures, although I haven't heard of them being used to remove microplastics (yet).

Microplastic might be good for us for all we know, in still going to avoid them but it's something to think about we don't have any real idea of what the effect of them is.

https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-024-00650-3
No, we know. There are a lot more...
- We have some very limited ideas from correlation and limited lab testing that allows us to say easy things like putting junk in vital veins is bad (the nature article) but that's only a fraction of the types of microplastic and possible interactions - we know almost nothing about most of what's happening.
  And to be clear I said they might be good for us as hyperbole, it's of course possible but what's far more likely is a myriad of long lasting health effects causing serious damage in obscure and complex ways.
  In a century they might be saying 'those plastic brain gen alpha caused so many problems' just as how it's common to hear people talk about lead brain boomers... or maybe 'wow crazy micro plastic gave us superpowers, that was lucky'
Can it help my credit score?

this would fix me i think

Give in to the leech.
A lower amount of blood to my brain might help stop the speed of a downward spiral. That or I could get diagnosed with ghosts and prescribed cocaine. Old medicine truly worked wonders.