Time to redraw America's borders in a way that finally makes sense.

Flower petal distribution.

Like a voronoi grid with limited colors, each color a state. Every state would have a bit of everything.

If Dr Suess was in charge of naming the states:

Residents of Floxas notice no change.

I was about to say—we lost the panhandle, and nobody realistically knows what lives there anyway.
I think it becomes the most populous state

You should sort them in alphabetical order, my European brain won't be able to remember them otherwise

And put them all to a catchy jingle
You just gotta remember the mnemonic for them!
Many Wild Owls In Winter Never Make Unusual Noises, Always Calm and Focused
But that's just taught to us in class as little kids so I forget it's not second nature for the rest of the world!

One line would be enough: to divide North from South.

I think we tried that once.
- At that time only the South wanted independence, now it might be that both parts would rather live on their own.
bible belt and sane people
- Insular, gossipy, ugly, unintelligible, poorly dressed crazy religious dumbfucks and normal humans who actually have empathy and can accept their town gaining new residents without throwing a redneck tantrum about it every day while said new resident occupies free real estate in their moldy swamp brains.
You need 4 lines. North East, South West, Wastelands.

Split it along the time zones instead. Less states and simpler administration. Washington DC can be its own time zone just to mess with people.

I feel like idiota would be overcrowded

Floxas made me lol

Fuck that. The Northeast created this country and we're not gonna be erased.

you also created new jersey, take some fuckin responsibility for your sins
- Fine, New Jersey is taking its Unix and going home then
So a track record of treachery and treason?

I like how the map shows the curvature of the north border (49th parallel), meaning all these lines bulge north in the middle.

Utucky

No u.

Alascanada?

Hawacuba?

Americans are so dumb when it comes to timezones we could just assign Maintana to GMT+5, Washconsin GMT+6 and so on downwards. It wouldn't make any difference to them and it'd be a lot more fun for the rest of us.

True story: "The meeting is at 1500 EDT". "Your state is currently on EST so if I turn up at the specified time I'll be an hour late. Are you sure it's 1500 EDT and not 1500 EST?" "Yes, definitely 1500 EDT". /me turns up at 1500 EDT to find the meeting has already finished.

I misread IDOTA as IDIOTA.

no that's floxas

I especially like IDiOTA

Also

America's borders

USA borders.

“America” is a shortened name for “United States of America,” in addition to the name of the continent. It can be both, you know.
- Just saying USA has less syllables and letters.
- But we don't have to like it
  Edit: fine, I guess we're obligated to like it.
Believe it or not, those two terms are used interchangably and somehow no one gets confused. A continent AND a country can both have the same name without the world ending.
- Let me point you to this handy little guide:
  https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/36440098
I think “America” implies a hierarchy, dominance, and soothes their egos though
- Yup. They misappropriated a continent's name to feel more important. Otherwise they would feel smaller than Australia presumably.

Fixed.

"Where you from?"
"Middle"
as an Oregonian I 100% accpt the decision to merge us with Warshington

There's precedence in Connecticut history

https://medium.com/@andyvillanueva_maps/long-long-connecticut-a6e014c52261

Maintana most beautiful state

As a resident of Floxus, I propose we make the creeping phlox our state flower.

(It smells like rotting skunk.)

isn't that the shit that Trump smells like?
- Flopsweat and diaper rash cream

Bullshit. I just moved from Oklahoma to California to escape the hell hole that is that backwards ass state and I'm not reincorporating.

You have ascended to heaven. If you ever feel stressed, just remember that the people you left behind are still playing in the mud and catching exotic third world diseases.
Is that why you hate the internet?
- The Internet would be great if it wasn't for all the other computers attached to it.

Floxas gonna absolutely kill at college football

But the target of basically all the hurricanes

I feel for Louisiana getting lumped into Floxas, run by the mutant abomination AbbSantis.

this unironically looks like how some colonies used ro be divvied up. fitting for a colonial empire.

It's not actually all that differently stupid.

Now I want to see this cross referenced to a population map and overlay major cities and show us the population of each new state and what cities would be in each.

Which sports team am I supposed to root for with this map? Do you expect me to make a careful analysis of team history and current lineup? Or do I pick the one in the state I was born in like a normal person?

Sounds more like a new line up of pharmaceuticals for the treatment of those suffering from delusions of grandeur and acute narcissism

What's the timezone in Missorado and also historians will debate if that was eldorado just so you know.

Could they at least be an alphabetical order!