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chapotraphouse @hexbear.net

gay_king_prince_charles [she/her, he/him] @hexbear.net

1mo ago

Damn, Iran has started Sepiroth posting

Crazy

82 comments

They're gonna kill Spongebob aren't they?
- An Iranian cleric, Shahab Moradi, said Iran would struggle to hit back against the US by striking a parallel figure to Maj. Gen. Qassem Soleimani because the US has only "fictional" heroes.
  https://www.businessinsider.com/soleimani-death-spiderman-spongebob-only-us-heroes-iran-cleric-2020-1
  after 5 years of research, they've finally figured out how to do it...
  
  The fictional hero Iran has decided to kill was Israel
  
  They're going to settle it in smash!
- Rip Peter spiderman
- mr spongebob sir your fired
Khamenei is going to create a Hexbear account
- Gets banned for excessive benis posting
  
  And Ahmadinejad gets banned for posting Pro-Ukraine comments. Meanwhile Assad keeps defending himself from mean comments.
- Do we have any Iranian hexbears?
  
  Sup.
  
  at least a few
They are going to release the real Epstein file
- They'll be like "behold! All your leaders are PEDOPHILES!" and we'd be like
  and they'd be like "damn bitch, you live like this?"
- they are going to release information that could lead to the arrest of hillary clinton, and trump will stop the war.
  
  The good ending
- They'll release that the election really was stolen, but it was by the Zachary Taylor administration in 1848
Literally the only thing that could live up to that is a nuke hitting Tel Aviv.
- Could be some new kind of warfare making a debut. Like some crazy new type of drone attack. But idk doesn't seem like it.
WHERE IS MY GOD DAMN SURPRISE
- I'M GETTING GOONED BY IRAN GODAMNIT
  
  Sry to be the conveyor of bad news, but I've yet to see proof Iran even said that. The only source are tweets saying they said that afaik.
so when is this happening? what are we theorizing it is?
what if iran leaks gta 6
- Then everyone but Elon Musk will stop the war to play some bideo gaem.
I dunno about that, most people can't remember stuff that happened in the news last year and a lot also just don't even know this is even happening right now. Those of us keeping track are getting really hard to surprise. That's a huge promise to deliver in 2025
- my body is ready for it
Jokes aside, whatever it is (Another strike of some sort I'm guessing) probably isn't gonna live up to that hype right?
- Honestly? I recall when Mirandi a while back (the last time Israel tried) said that Iran would hit back much harder, and frankly I would call what Iran's been doing recently exactly that; It's entirely possible it won't live up to the hype, but so far they've been living up to the hype.
  That said, all they allegedly said was they would do something that would be remembered for centuries; maybe they'll reveal the KFC formula?
  
  Futurama beat them to it.
  
  maybe they'll reveal the KFC formula?
  When you defeat the Burgerreich by revealing all of its fast food formulas, causing the
  economy to collapse.
  
  maybe they'll reveal the KFC formula?
  Oh shit oh fuck
  
  Former KFC worker here, you can just check Wikipedia. It's mostly salt, pepper and celeriac.
- It's hard to imagine anything being remembered more than two weeks with our current hyperactive news cycles.
- What could actually be in history books and not just metabolized as yet more spectacle?
  An actual use of weapons of mass destruction, including biological weapons (even just spiking farmers fields with parasites)
  Total capitulation, on either side
  Complete shut down of iron dome/David's sling
  Khamenei resigning, that'd actual make it in books even if things don't change
  Khamenei reversing the fatwa against nuclear weapons
  Actually, Iran striking US bases would be pretty historical. Or using some hypersonics, but I guess that'd fall under shut down or denial of iron dome. Or maybe just letting the leash go for the regional militias - apparently Iran has been a moderating force historically, they've wanted to jump in or retaliate or attack and its been Iran that's held them back.
  
  Khamenei reversing the fatwa against nuclear weapons
  Probably this or massive drone/paramilitary attacks all over US, and their proxies, bases in the middle east.
  
  Or using some hypersonics
  I thought they were already doing that?
- I for one am really learning what “fog of war” means between the ISSrael censorship and the understandable desire for the Iranians to hype up their attack capacity it is very hard to tell if the Iranians are really having a significant effect or if they’re more bark than bite
  
  They recently launched 10 missiles with none of them intercepted. They also have a missile that is stealthy.
the world's first beanis fusion weapon
- Maybe China gave them some of those hydrogen plasma bombs?
I hope it's what I think it is
- Iran has decided to suplant nukes, they've built a secret collider to develop anti matter bombs
  
  The Fatwa said nothing about tactical black hole weapons.
  
  Some sort of Mr. Freeze style freezing bomb perhaps
  
  Give Iran ~~nukes~~ photon torpedos
- I hope it's the world's first mobile suit or metal gear
  
  They'd better keep those mobile suits locked down better than they do in the show. At least keep an eye out for any plucky teens who's parents developed secret weapons for the IOF and have recently died or will die within the next few episodes.
- Kenny Omega has taught the ayatollah how to hit the one-winged angel
  
  didn't expect to see indie pro wrestling references here
- Seismoooooooo!
Salt the earth they stole.
Iran will reveal the Gundam.
- They need to do it to some banger anime music.
They played us like a damn fiddle.
- It is possible that they were taking about the inaugural use of Fattah-1, but I was under the impression that Fattah-1 was used in True Promise II.
Khamenei is Q and single handedly broke the American mind
I call bullshit, because most people have the memory of a peanut and won't remember any of it.
- 6/18 never forget!
- "informed" financial press readers think Iran doesn't have a chance against Israel
Sounds fake. Anyone find a link to the actual statement anywhere? A video? Anything other than social media posts?
- You better have the Khamenei apology form ready
  
  Oh fuck, Mercury is not in retrograde right now
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNms5rOaGlk thread theme
- I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
  yewtu.be
  inv.nadeko.net
  yt.artemislena.eu
  piped.video
The bennisiah was born in Iran
Veni veni venias
Ni siquiera he comenzado
:el-papi-chulo:

82 comments