I'm an American living in Norway. Every time someone figures out I'm American they immediately ask me about my thoughts on Trump. How do I mess with them?

"You mean the guy from the Apprentice?"

Or just act like you don't know who that is. "Sorry, I don't watch TV."

Sorry I dont play Fortnite

I constantly think about this guy's evangelical dad in Beijing

Look around suspiciously, then lean in and say "I don't believe he's human. I think they're here."

Edit: even better, lean in and say, "I think he's....Danish."

Edit: even better, lean in and say, "I think he's....Danish."
He enjoys a completely unjustified popularity
He thinks he is the centre of the word
He believes brown people are out to destroy civilisation if they get the chance
He enjoys eating shitty food
The facts checks out. Trump is Danish.
- He enjoys eating shitty food
  Seriously the food here sucks lol.
Dane-ald Trump convincing Denmark to sell Greenland to Seppoland, only to immediately sell Seppoland to Denmark in turn, now THAT's what I call insider trading
Danish

There's another American in Norway on this hellsite‽ Although I'm a second-generation immigrant rather than an "expat".

I don't think I've really "messed with" people when they ask those sorts of questions, not yet at least. I just say openly that I voted PSL, that a lot of people are disillusioned with the two-party system, and that I'm worried about my family and friends and all the other people trapped in this deteriorating situation.

Yeah I think there are about 18,000 Americans in Norway. A big chunk of that is Mormons. More Trump supporters than i thought too.
For me I can't really hide my American accent and I'm not fluent in Norwegian yet. It just gets really annoying because I don't want to talk about politics every five goddamn seconds. A Norwegian trump supporter tried to Amerisplain me last night and I about lost it.
Love the idea of pretending that I don't know who he is.
- big chunk of that is Mormons. More Trump supporters than i thought too.
  Mormonism is the only religion I'm straight up bigoted against and everything new I learn about them just reinforces my prejudice
- The word trump, incidentally, is defined by NAOB as
  {DIALEKTALT|DIALECTAL} {tung,|heavy,} {svær|enormous} {kar|fellow}
  {MUNTLIG|SPOKEN} {tverr,|contrarian,} {vrang|difficult} {mann|man} {eller|or} {gutt;|boy;} {vriompeis|fogey}
  {DIALEKTALT|DIALECTAL} {børsekolbe;|butt of a rifle;} {geværkolbe|gunstock}
  Of course, this word is not pronounced like Norwegians pronounce the name Trump ("Trømp"), but it is still a little funny.
  For me I can't really hide my American accent and I'm not fluent in Norwegian yet.
  A strat I've seen a lot of people use in that situation is to just pretend they're Canadian, but I couldn't do that, frankly. I guess I just don't like making that part of myself invisible.
  It just gets really annoying because I don't want to talk about politics every five goddamn seconds.
  Absolutely, absolutely. I think I might have a higher tolerance for talking politics than most people, but Norwegians' fondness of hounding Yankees with political question after political question is one of the things that led me to develop my own current theories about the interplay of Europe and Seppoland. Like the reason why Americans in Norway get these questions is ultimately because Norwegians can on a deep level sense that their country is entirely beholden to the whims of another country whose policies they have no say in, but without any actual theory to make sense of this situation, this sort of deep-seated insecurity about the New Master's actions basically turns into an obsession with Seppoland's politics — and in turn Americans in Norway are turned into "fetishes" of the current vassal relationship, if that makes sense.
  Seppoland, naturally, benefits from this arrangement: if anyone who tries to resign from settlerism is soon met with crowds of people who act Deeply Weirdly about the ex-settler's background, leading the ex-settler to feel frustrated and alienated, like they just can't fit in and can't carve out a life outside of the settler-colonial paradigm, then resigning from settlerism is made all the more difficult. This "McAfeeization" of settlerism becomes especially important during crises of the colonial system, where settlers' loyalty to the project cannot be so readily bought with "treats".
  This is at least my current understanding.
  A Norwegian trump supporter tried to Amerisplain me last night and I about lost it.
  Jesus Christ, tell me about it. Young men are turning increasingly rightward, so there's a lot more Norwegian Redcaps than there used to be, and they are painful. Just completely disconnected from reality and their own interests. They lick boots that even liberals wouldn't lick, and Norwegian liberals fucking love to lick boots, so that's saying something.
- Oh good god, the whole point of wanting to emigrate is THEY’RE the people I’m trying to get away from.
There's another American in Norway on this hellsite‽
Makes three of us
- Pog!

"He is destroying America, which is a very good thing"

I would just repeatedly assert that he's the same as any other president. Oh he's using America's hegemony to bully its "allies"? Unfortunate that that just started now. Oh he says overtly racist and ridiculous things? Must be the first one. His economic policies are hurting you now? Guess we're including the right countries finally.

Oh he says overtly racist and ridiculous things? Must be the first one.
I mean, yeah? He’s the first US head of state I’ve lived under who has explicitly called immigrants from south of the borderremoveds. He’s explicitly equated Nazis with those fighting them. On many things he’s no different than other presidents, true, but I think racist rhetoric makes a big difference and I don’t think other US heads of state were nearly as verbally racist as he was.
But then again, I’m not white and you probably have a more even handed, objective take on this thing.
- What? You don't even have to go back more than one president. Biden was repeating extremely racist obvious propaganda about Palestinians. You should tell the people who were being bombed and then collectively labelled "r*pists" that things only got bad when they started getting called worse names.
  If you are actually convinced of what you said, I really don't know what to tell you.

You mean that guy from Home Alone 2?

Pretend you have no idea who they're talking about

"You mean the guy from 'the apprentice?' They went and made him president? Haha, can you imagine?"
- Real "Ronald Reagan? The actor!?" vibes.

tell em youre so glad they asked as youre an advance guard charged with gathering Intel on their countries value. start asking probing questions about the worth of various buildings, govt programs, whether they'd like to sell, whatever is nearby...etc... bust out a calculator and keep a straight face for as long as you can.

lol, yeah, tell them you work for some giant bank in the US and you're there to negotiate the handover of managerial control of their sovereign wealth fund to make it more efficient and maximize its profitability.
if they don't try to kill you immediately, they are part of the problem.

Show them his sizzle reel from his time as a professional wrestler

Finally, a president brave enough to destroy Amerikkka

First say "jeg taler ikke englesk", then regardless of what they said back, say "jeg taler ikke Dansk"

Mi ne parolas la anglan.

Pretend you don't know what they're talking about

"donald trump? the pro wrestler?"
- oh, okay, not the wrestler, the gameshow guy? associate? assistant? what was the name?

Act surprised that they know about a Hearthstone streamer who was most popular in the mid-2010s

"Expat" lol

Did you renounce your citizenship or are you gonna file your US taxes every year for the rest of your life?

Sign me up for the campaign to abolish the word "expat"
- Legit though, the only difference between expat and immigrant more often than not is just vibes, and the vibes are more often than not just
  
  I'm willing to give people some leeway, but anyone who self-describes as an expat still immediately gets a raised eyebrow from me as probably having some chauvy brainworms
Honestly? Will see. I'd love to get another citizenship.
can you actually renounce paying taxes? i thought i read the US was unique in that was very hard to, even if you renounce citizenship as you say
- Iirc you can stop paying taxes but literally only if you give up your US citizenship entirely. But to do that, you have to book an in-person appointment with feds where you convince them to give you permission. And I'm pretty sure there are no laws or procedures they have to follow; it's just vibes-based whether or not they let you go.
- iirc the up-front cost to renounce citizenship is $4300 and they also levy any possible taxes on all your assets at time of renunciation, so you get to pay your capital gains up-front as well

say you have compromising pictures of trump when you guys had passionate gay sex and you escaped from the US when he got elected so you don't get whacked

Pretend you think they're asking about turnips, and give your honest opinion on those delicious root vegetables.

Or pretend you think they're talking about the trick-taking card game trump, or triomphe.

pretending trump is still on the apprentice is a start but acting like a huge reality tv head--compare seasons, similar shows and hosts-- mfs will feel like they've stepped into a different decade