No, I don't experience visual hallucinations. however I like to imagine another world where everything happens as I like. eg, I have some kind of superpower etc
No I don't have auditory hallucinations. I only have delusion of reference and delusion of persecution. However I do laugh at my symptoms when I think someone wants to harm me. I immediately go like "It couldn't be that this person wants to harm me" then "yeah but he was looking at me he must be laughing at me" "No he was looking at me because I first looked at him" "He definitely laughed at me"
Fortunately my parents are alive. This is the exact same thing my new psychiatrist is thinking. They are decreasing the dose of APs and increasing the dose of anti-depresent.
I don't like how schizophrenia is represented in movies, they portrait schizophrenics as crazy person who want to kill other human, which is incorrect. for example you won't even know I am diagnosed with schizophrenia until I explicitly tell you. for everyone around me I am just a fine introvert person.
sure, I mostly struggle when I go to my university, It makes me anxious thinking everyone is laughing at me and mocking me, I haven't made a single friend in university because of schizophrenia. I lost an internship too since they got an idea that something is wrong with me. right now I don't even know if I should tell my employer that I have schizophrenia, I don't want to lost my job however they won't know I have schizophrenia if I don't tell them myself.
It happens all the time when I go to university. I often catch a delusion like you said "that person doesn't wanna harm me since it doesn't benefit them" however It's hard to catch that "people doesn't mocking me and laughing at me" whenever I see a person laughing I think that they are laughing at me and it makes me uncomfortable. It's very hard to "catch" this kind of things. also I think that people are judging me like saying "oh he is a terrible person because xyz" which is infuriating.
I don't have their number so I can't send a message right now. However I will be going to the hospital after 20 days so then I can tell him about this.
I didn't mention that I am also afraid of water and I don't shave my beard. Is it also symptoms of schizophrenia? Should I tell this to my psychiatrist?
You are right, I am still afraid of water that's why I don't take a bath frequently, I am also afraid of shaving my beard. However I haven't told this to my psychiatrist since I thought it was irrelevant. Please tell me if these are also symptoms of schizophrenia.
oh I didn't know it, thank you so much for correcting me! =)