Kudzu is a problem in the US because Amerikkkans hate eating things that don't bleed.

After weeks of walking without signs of another living human you stumble upon an open Arby's nestled in an oasis of luscious greeny.

I roll for perception

It's a mimic.
- Maybe.... Or maybe it has a rare grimoire inside.💁‍♂️
I think the fact that it’s the renovated building but the old sign really makes it
- Ah! I didn't register that, it just felt off.

Hol up, kudzu is edible?! How were we never taught this???

You can even make flour from it.
- Holy fuck that is amazing; if it can be floured, so much could be done with it.
Yeah I’m genuinely surprised to learn this
- See I remember, EVERY DAMN YEAR, back when I was a kid where I used to live, it used to be me and my siblings' job to clear the kudzu and creeper vines from the house's brickwork because every year, without fail, it'd grow like eight damn feet up the wall by the end of spring. Awful work, especially in blistering summer humidity-- if I'd have known the shit was edible...
It's also used in traditional Chinese medicine to make a lot of different medication and even works somewhat. Can be also used to make ropes, clothes, paper, baskets and whatever else people can make of such fibers.

Even if every yank started eating kudzu by the kg, probably they would start cultivating it while forests infested by kudzu wouldn't get cleared of it

See the Rubeus ulmifolius berry plague in Argentina and Chile

Capitalism only knows how to find the worse solution to fuck everything up
- Meh it's not capitalism ruining things here, it's simply not the solution cuz:
  If kudzu were hard to propagate and high in demand, people would go to the forests and forage it till it's no longer a problem. But kudzu is really easy to prooagate, so if it easier to grow it like another crop, it's not cost effective for most people to go to a fucking forest, so besides some artisanal harvesting by landless people, kudzu would remain a plague.
  To actually solve this you need a Forestry Ministry or whatever launching a big campaign to save the forests, and part of that effort should be clear this invasive plant, which is a pain in the ass to do cuz you gotta go and kill it specifically in an area that is annoying to go and you gotta go there season after seadon, year after year,vuz the thing grows back easily.
  Again with the R. ulmifolius example: it's a (delicious) invasive thorny bush plaguing mountainous forests, but it's also really easy to grow in any other terrain and we have non-thorny cultivars. So besides forest fires and pissed off hikers carrying a machete in their trips to clear trails, R. ulmifolius has no counter.
  Hell, R ulmifolius probably benefits from forest fires.
Kid named cobra effect

I actually remember when I was studying abroad Japan many years ago and I was doing some kind of presentation about our home ecologies and I brought up that kudzu was this big problem where I'm from and some Japanese students were just like, "But why don't you just eat it?" and I was just like

I would rather starve than eat a plant. My forefathers (vikings) didn't fight in world war 2 so I could eat something green.

My forefathers (vikings) didn’t fight in world war 2 so I could eat something green.
Considering that archeological studies discovered vikings very often had parasites and plethora of other digestive tract problems, they in fact must have eaten plenty of green things, but those that shouldn't be green in the first place, like sausages.
- those that shouldn't be green in the first place, like sausages.
  "Erik, why have you been looking right at a small rock and talking to it?"
  "More than 1,000 years from now - cellphones, the net, and Tiktok will exist. But for now - what I can a meatfluencer do?"
- you can actually get a lot of parasites from unwashed mishandled uncooked greens i.e. rat lungworm
I love how white people bring up being Vikings but they were considered a joke for the longest time. Mainly because they lost against the Mongols in the East. Its why the Ukrainian worshipping of their Viking roots is more modern and tied to white supremacy rather than some thing traditional and historical.
- I mean of course Vikings are going to lose to fucking mongols, you've got, you've got one set of guys whose whole thing is fucking around on little boats doing hit and run raids, you've got another set of guys whose whole thing is massive armies of cavalry, unless the Vikings are tricking them into a naval battle or like guerrilla warring them in some swamp somewhere they're fucked I'm sorry

Feral hogs are considered a problem in Texas— a state where practically everyone has a gun and an insatiable appetite for barbecued meat, and they still can't get the populations under control.

Turns out, exterminating all natural predators of a species lets that species go bonkers.
- Except hogs are also invasive. They don’t have natural predators cause they’re not supposed to be on the continent.
They poison these hogs so the meat isn't edible

This honestly may be a stupid question but is kudzu edible to humans? I’ve seen people bring like, goats in to eat a bunch of it and clear out an area, but I assumed it was on the same level as grass.

This photo is strangely beautiful. Feels like something from a dream.

Greenery has a charm all it's own. Plus - in that photo anyway - kudzu envelops things in a way that reminds me of a 3D fractal program I used to use called Chaoscope. Some fractal shapes just really feel "right".

today I learned kudzu existed and people have a lot to say about it

The kudzu struggle sesh

kudzu is not even a problem compared to more invasive plants/vines like ENGLISH IVY (which is present in like 47 states iirc) and JAPANESE KNOTWEED (42/50 states) & that isn't even bringing up hyper-competitive decorative trees/shrubs like **ALL TYPES OF PRIVET ** but mfers who can't tell the difference between kudzu, mile-a-minute, and knotweed when they're driving on 70kmh on a highway/road will have you believe kudzu has swallowed the entirety of southern forests when in reality it doesn't really like anything further than the forest edge or an open field.

Kudzu grows fast and is a bitch to get rid of once established, sure, but it doesn't actually reproduce fast - it only disperses like a couple of seeds yearly and those don't immediately germinate. Meanwhile Japanese Knotweed, by the way, is perfectly happy creating its own little thicket in worse areas than kudzu does like frequently flooded areas, the shorelines of creeks/streams, and even straight through asphalt.

Kudzu spreads quickly thanks to its runners; Japanese Knotweed does that and then ups the ante by dispersing a fuckton more seeds by wind & water & bird.

Don't get me started on privets - literally rented a house a few years ago that had a fairly young (maybe 4-5 years old) Chinese Privet that was the only thing in the (largely uncared for) backyard because the topsoil hadn't been amended in years so it was largely nutrient starved loamy sand. Told the landlord the privet was invasive and bound to fill the entire backyard in a few years with its offspring & clones. Pointed out that the tree itself was growing right next to the wooden deck (literally it was planted right next to the corner post) & eventually would either begin to overtake it or. Asked if I could cut it down & offered to even spend my own money treating the stump so it didn't grow back and buying/planting some native alternatives.

"Please do not make any alterations to the yard that cannot be mowed or easily removed after your lease is up. And no, we'd like the tree to stay."

I spent so much time making sneaky cuts into the trunk and applying herbicide in the hopes that fucker would die, but it was still thriving by the time my lease ended two years later. I did fix the rest of the backyard though by buying a bunch of native bird seed & 'feeding' the birds by spreading it out back with extra compost I wasn't using for my potted plants. Landlord was very surprised to see a bunch of milkweed plants and clover covering the backyard when they came by for the move-out inspection but I know in my heart they probably mowed that shit down 2 days after I moved out so the privet could out-compete literally nothing.

Oh the knotweed, I pull knotweed along a local walking path (I need to talk to the town about herbicide but there's a waterway nearby so probs a bad idea). I pulled enough this year to see a duck return to swim in the water, but those underground vines mean they'll always come back.

But who would require a hat so big?

A guy with no cattle.
--
You may have heard the Texas slang, “big hat, no cattle” — referring to a person who makes him or herself look important, without the substance to back it up.
It's a Randy Newman song too: Big Hat, No Cattle - YouTube.

invasive as it is that setting looks gorgeous, there was a similar area I would visit where the forest was just draped in wisteria

Yeah I was honestly struck by how nice that looks minus the arbys

It being edible doesn't make it not an invasive species.

Edible also doesn't mean "tastes good"
- It tastes great actually very sweet tubers

If yall never had kudzu jelly you're missing out.

CHANGE HOW YOU BURGER

PUT BURGER IN PIE HOLE HAPPY TUMMY
- That better be a pie made of meat

inshallah it takes over the arby's and returns it to the earth

"Kudzu is edible, why aren't we eating it?"

weird how from plants to animals and people, how things that are not to indigenous to an area invariably end up ruining it

it's not in my yard yet. instead i'm overrun with delicious blackberries which i've been tending to so they won't just pop up everywhere

there's some across the street though so if it ever shows up i'll eat it too

What does it sell? Roast beef sandwich? Burger? Is a burger count as a roast beef sandwich? Big hat

wait where is this? something about the juxtaposition of the a*by's and the mist-covered almost jungle-like vegetation is an immense vibe and makes me want to write a short story or smthing