Attempts must've been made

I went with my Vietnamese colleague to an all you can eat sushi place in Savannah after we spent two weeks doing hurricane response when I was still in the Coast Guard. This dude ate 32 rolls of sushi, and the old lady running the place loved him. At a certain point, I think she just wanted to see how many it would take before he tapped out. I think I ate ten or twelve rolls, and just sat there in awe while the dude just kept shoveling food into his mouth. To be fair, we'd been working 20 hour days for two weeks and the ship was running out of food before we pulled into port.

Later on, found out that same dude cheated on his wife, then found out his wife was pregnant, they tried to work it out, she had a miscarriage, and he filed for divorce two weeks later. Fun times

That was an M. Night Shamalamadingdong twist to a story about buffets.
What an emotional rollercoaster this story was
I had a sushi binge once back in college. I went to eat lunch with my friends at the local Vietnamese place and we definitely overate. I was supposed to meet with my frat sponsor later that night and was worried that I might not get dinner before 9pm. Turns out my sponsor had planned to surprise me by taking me out to a fairly upscale sushi place for dinner since he knew I loved it. We get to the restaurant and he orders "the boat" which contains like 50+ pieces of sushi (for just the two of us). When the food came out I was worried I wouldn't be able to eat but turns out I can make extra space for sushi. I demolished that boat and ate more than my sponsor. He was legit impressed when I finally admitted that I had eaten a big lunch before hand.
- Sushi Zanmai?
I liked the first half of this story :(
- That second third was pretty good too, but it dropped off pretty quickly from there.
That's a new copy pasta
- https://feddit.de/post/2954269
  Done.
Imagine four guys that workout a lot, trying to gain mass after a cut, going to an all you can eat sushi place...
The waitress was just laughing her ass off when passing by our table and seeing another order slip, we filled the table four times before we felt we had enough...
- Oh I can imagine. Two young military officers coming off a few weeks at sea working 20+ hour days led to this story. We went back with more people the next day, and I thought we were gonna clear the place out
It must've been the 100 rolls of sushi that provoke the cheating...
- Honestly the rolls they were serving were at least double the size of most other places I've gone. Might've had something to do with the major hurricane that just rolled through tho
Have you ever considered writing for the Saw films?
- Let's play a game
When you say roll, do you mean the entire cylinder of sushi?
Or do you mean the bite sized circle of one sushi entree?
I can't imagine a person scarfing 30 cylinder entrees of sushi unless they're a competitive eater or something. That's nuts.
- I'm wondering the same. 32 pieces of sushi is easy, I've done that many times in my life. 32 full rolls? Jesus. I think I've done 5 or 6 max.
- Full roll, not just individual pieces. Most places I've been to have 4-7 pieces in a roll, this place had 10 or 12
What size? Normal or big (futomaki)?
- Big

All you can reasonably eat within a given time limit does roll off the tongue

Would be more honest though. If I'm taking it slow eating then I'm taking it slow goddammit.
- I think this is targeting folks who finish eating a meal and then never leave the restaurant. So a more technical truth would be all you can eat within the reasonable definition of how long one meal lasts.

This is quoting a famous stand up comedy routine by John Pinnette:

https://youtu.be/aLkTuWdKrqY?si=W6b8bXI4IgvSSjiW

May he rest in peace. I miss his comedy.

Restaurant owner probably

https://youtu.be/CqT-AvswCZo

John Pinette reference

I get what you're saying OP, but 'all you can eat' doesn't mean eat, digest for a few hours and go eat more...

Personally, raised with 5 other siblings, I don't normally hold back so I'd be waddling out in 45 minutes flat questioning my life decisions for the following 18hrs.
But I do know people who would try to take full advantage and try to time it for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

There was an attempt to make a funny post by a person who doesn't know this is a direct quote from a comedian.

Could you cite the direct quote? Curious because I typed it up myself based on my own thought. The photo is more like a meme now.
- John Pinette is who you're looking for.

Do these seem like the actions of a man who had "ALL HE COULD EAT?"

seriously though just put a 1 hour limit on it

When I was a kid 84 yrs ago
lol 😂

It's all you can eat in 4 hours restaurant

3 hours 59 minutes* restaurant

All you can eat for one meal, they can’t have you sitting there for 8 hours when you’re only going to be eating at most 2 of those 8. You’re taking up space that could be used by other guests if you’re just setting up camp in the restaurant

Most buffet restaurants get around this by closing for one hour between lunch and dinner, and/or a maximum time limit.
- One of the restaurants at my work does an all you can eat crab during some parts of the year. Really it’s all you can eat for 90 minutes, they even put a timer on your table lol

Alright, who tried to squat in this restaurant after paying for the buffet?

The entry was $18, the sign said open 24hrs...I was just trying to save on rent and food.
- Tough times, tough times

what did you do after you left the all you can eat buffet?

We pretty much went straight home.

Mrs Simpson, may I remind you that you are under oath.

We drove around for 4 hours looking for another all you can eat seafood buffet

"You can't make me stop. The sign says 'All you can eat for 16.99."

"Yes sir. 4 plates is all you can eat for $16.99.

Each plate you get a semi-perm tattoo on your hand to keep track.

Image Transcription:

A photo of a restaurant window with the text decal reading: Chinese Restaurant All you can eat buffet Not mean all day buffet You no come stay 4 hour You eat - you go home

[I am a human, if I’ve made a mistake please let me know. Please consider providing alt-text for ease of use. Thank you. 💜]

Question, what's the best method of putting the transcription on posts on lemmy? At the top, bottom, does it matter if I bold the "Image Transcription" text?
I fully understand and agree it's important just not sure the best way to use it and I have to start remembering.
- I think the best way is as the description with the image, same place as where you've written about it not being fair to call it "all you can eat" on this post.
  I don't think it would matter if you bold the "Image Transcription" text, a lot of the time I've seen it written in square brackets to differentiate it.

This is funny but not a great way to express it as a business. Why not simplify and clarify, like: "all you can eat* buffet. * limited to one meal in one hour" perhaps add "no loitering" but maybe not needed

Used to do this when I was a teenager. Group of friends would shuffle into the china buffet around 2, then stay for 4 hours or so, so you can get two meals for the price of one.

we'd sit in the smoking section, smoke cigarettes and fuck around. We made up our own language with something like 50 words, all reenacted to a degree. to say "butterfly" you had to act out a caterpillar being slowly dissolved in it's own cocoon juices before emerging minutes later as a butterfly. it was a wonderful time.

we only ever sat there for hours when nobody else was there, though. if the place was crowded we'd eat and go so as not to be jerks

Imagine if you will...

A society so morally bankrupt....

That a sign like this is necessary.

😂

Do you want to suggest that all Chinese people are morally bankrupt?!?
- I don't think Chinese clients are the issue when it comes to abusing all you can eat places...
- I don't think this English-language sign is in China, oddly enough
- I think they're referring to people who set up camp at a table or two at these all you can eat buffets.
  They typically sit at a larger area (normally next to the television), and are usually accompanied by children or infants.
  They stay for hours on end and will occasionally get up to grab more food.
  I don't see how anyone can do that to themselves. Imagine sitting at a restaurant all day watching daytime television and eating food, my ass is hurting just thinking about it.
  I love a good buffet and can put one out of business with the amount I eat at one, but I can't see myself being at a table or in a booth for more than an hour.

All you can eat 1 hour

Excellent broken English.

What you mean? The English function fine.

There have definitely been instances where I've stayed at a Chinese buffet for almost 3 hours, and they didn't really care. I got my food, sat down to eat and relax, and we didn't bother each other

My school has labeled the main cafeteria "All You Care to Eat", which I still think has a loophole.

"... in the 11 minutes you have scheduled for lunch"

It's not all you want to it, it's all you CAN eat! Bwahahahahaha!!

washee-washee read this out in my head

4 hours seem excessive. But I would not eat at a place that had me watch the wristwatch while I'm eating. I come to a restaurant to relax, socialize and eat well. Anyways, eating slowly would make me eat less, I think. Gives time for the full feeling to set in. I can normally throw in a lot of food if I do it fairly quickly.

I don't know why your getting down voted...it's pretty legit.