Feeling guilt after masturbation
Feeling guilt after masturbation
So everytime I masturbated after coming out I feel so guilty afterwards. I also feel so annoyed at my ejaculate wether it's from after masturbating or after having a wet dream.
Is anyone else feeling the same?
This is also the reason why I've done it only like 3 times since the end of september (where I came out). Is that bottom dysphoria or just general dysphoria?
"Transfeminine AMABs (people assigned male at birth) with testicles experience surges in testosterone in relation to attraction and desire, which can make them more dysphoric." -Biochemical dysphoria, The Gender Dysphoria Bible
If you’re still using your hand, something that might help a lot is getting a vibrating wand. I got a Doxxy wand a couple years after coming out and it’s been a lifesaver in terms of not feeling as much dysphoria masturbating.
As a cis male I can say that feeling guilt after mastrubation is a very common thing. I suffered from it and I know several friends who did as well. Some even having strong feelings of depression after.
It might not be related to coming out because it's a normal thing for males as well. For me it went away with age. A friend of mine unfortunately still suffers from it (even after sex).
It might be useful to talk about this with a psychologist or by trying to be more accepting of your body in it's current state. I'm not saying this is easy because it took several years for me to overcome some psychological problems but the hard work paid off in the end. It's something that requires an active effort every day.
I wish you the best of luck!
I think context is relevant. I'd assume you didn't also fantasize about friendship between women and being able to wear women's clothes and feelings of envy towards women and a desire to be like them.
I think your advice vis a vis guilt being a normal thing is good, but it doesn't really account for the ways that OP's guilt is unique and intertwined with gender feelings. I felt similar guilt myself, but it was different from guilt that I felt otherwise. I'd feel bad about masturbating and feel ashamed and guilty about it, but it was unique when it was precipitated by fantasies about my gender. I felt ashamed that I was even thinking things like "I wish I was a girl" and imagining someone acknowledging me sexually as a woman. It's a common struggle with a lot of trans feminine people, not that I'm saying OP is trans fem but they did come to the transfem board for advice so I think it's safe to say they also feel their experience is unique from the one typical of cisgender men.