We don't judge here. :)

physics majors when they're asked to apply their knowledge (they've never been outside of the lab)

They can design the chicken coop, but only for spherical chickens in a vacuum.
- Built from ideal materials with zero tolerance

If you ask a scientist what pi is, they will tell you it equals 3.14159. If you ask a mathematician, they will tell you pi equals the circumference of a circle divided by its diameter. If you ask an engineer, they will say “about 3, but let's round it up to 5 to be safe.”

I'd replace scientist to something more precise like physicist because usually people consider mathematicians as scientists even if it depends on definitions.
- usually people consider mathematicians as scientists
  Yikes!
  ... Wait, does this mean I can call a historian an artist? Then I'm game.
- Feel free! I actually just googled it because I couldn't exactly remember it. I'd use contractions too and make it less formal sounding.

As someone with a degree in physics who ended up in an engineering role, I approve of this meme.

As an engineer, I don't believe in any of that mind reading mumbo jumbo.
- Astronomy is one of the many tools of the devil.
Fr, what can you do with a physics degree except teach people physics
- Come up with new physics to teach people?
- Applied physics is a thing. Lots of jobs there. Geophysics, biophysics, engineering physics (yes, that's a thing...)
- Literally everything. All science and engineering is based on physics
- So true, lol

What's the first indicator a scientist tried to build their own experiment using the soldering station ?

The smell of burnt fingers.

What's the scientist waiting for sitting in front of their own experiment ?

Waiting for the infinite loop they coded to finish after they claimed they didn't need the engineer's help to write the code in their experiment.

How many scientists do you need to change a light bulb ?

Theoretically just one, but it can take several until one of them can call an engineer and admit they only know how to change light bulbs theoretically.

What does a scientist call an electrolytic capacitor ?

Acid distribution subsystem.

Is the date a perfect sphere in a vacuum with no friction?

Aww, he doesn't understand physics and has a small dick? :(

Her: "No I meant I'm a software engineer."

Him: "Oh. I also hate myself and want to die."

"Can I lick the science?"
"Nothing else has made the code work so ya might as well!"

Ask a ~~physician~~ physicist to build a bridge, it collapse but he knows exactly how and why it collapsed.

Ask an engineer to do it, it holds but he has no idea how it's holding together.

Wow med school has really upped their game.
- "Doctors Without Bridges"
I think the word you're looking for is physicist. A physician is a medical doctor (as in a person that treats sick people). A physicist is a person that studies physics (as in a person that knows how to solve word problems involving pool tables).
- It's a classic French speaker mistake because physicist is "physicien" and physician is "médecin", very different.

Engineering is just physics with real numbers.

You can have loads of imaginary numbers in EE.
- This guy inducts.
- Which is why I stay away from EE.
- What a reactive load of...
You start with a real number, then apply several made-up safety factors.
@user1234 @fossilesque irl physics

Isn't physics a pretty integral part of engineering?

No, integrals are mathematics
Depends on the specific engineering branch. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Sometimes nothing at all. But all engineering branches share one thing with physics: math.
For structural analysts it's very important.
- I think the joke is you don't understand enough physics to make that your gig, so you go engineering as the backup plan. Source: am IT, we're everyone's backup plan when their initial goals fall through
Engineering is just the economical application of applied physics, without Physicists Engineers work off faulty knowledge, without Engineers nothing gets designed.
The level of understanding an Engineer needs, however, is purely within the practical and economical, while Physicists understandably have more in-depth knowledge.

Who said she's a mechanical engineer?

She probably drives a train
IIRC they all learn some physics at engineering school. Even the software engineers.
- In my engineering school, the major difference between software engineers and real engineers is that software engineers don't study physics.
- I did chemical engineering because it only required two physics courses.
  And because I like chemistry.

Engineering is more like accounting, but for objects instead of money. Tables, rule books, and lobbyists.

And writing reports, calculations and such...even manuals if there is time

Hey we understand plenty! Well the parts we have to to make the thing not go boom anyways....

Wait, things aren't supposed to go boom ?
- I'm Torgue and I'm here to ask you one question and one question only: Explosions?
Where's the kaboom? There should have been an earth-shattering kaboom!
Excellent, excellent. One thought, though. Maybe it should be boom, boom, and then kaboom. Sort of a hoo-ah grand finale!

I suck at math too!

Don’t we all??

I'm sure you didn't mean it, but given the dearth of women in engineering, there's an interpretation of this meme that's kinda sexist.

I'm literally a woman in STEM lmao.
- Like I said, I don't think you meant it.
  Independent of who you are the meme could be read in a certain way.
That sounded darker when I misread your comment as
the death of women in engineering