"Rob say code monkey very diligent, but his output stink. His code not functional or elegant, what do code monkey think?"
Listen, Mr. Code Monkey. Tight deadlines and too much focus on coding style/elegance might be your employer's unrealistic expectations. But if your code isn't functional, what are you even doing, man? You're building a log in page, dude. That shit needs to work, right? Be less sensitive to constructive criticism and test your code before merging your branch, bud.
"I made this half-pony half-monkey monster to please you. But I get the feeling that you don't like it. What's with all the screaming? You like monkeys! You like ponies! Maybe you don't like monsters so much? Maybe I used too many monkeys? Isn't it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you!?"
Jonathan Coulton, the greatest love song writer of our time.
The concerned wondering to himself, "maybe I used too many monkeys," always makes me chuckle.