Skip Navigation

196 @lemmy.blahaj.zone

Yote.zip @pawb.social

1y ago

loophole rule

38 comments

i bet i could take a werewolf
edit: nvm

i'll fight his dick with my ass
- I'll visit you in the hospital.
  
  only if 10 minutes is the maximum, not the minimum. best wait the full 15-30 minutes for the knot to deflate so the pullout doesn't turn my body inside out
- Are we still doing phrasing?
  
  it's overtly horny tho

Fighting along-side a werewolf would barely be a challenge.

I wouldn't have even given it a second thought, but the addendum...

I could manage just fine, provided it's daytime and/or there's no full moon.

Just bring a gun its easy
- It's a werewolf, so it's night. You're in a forest (naturally).
  Werewolf and you are at 100' apart when bell sounds. Werewolf takes a step to the left and disappears behind a tree.
  By the time you next see this magically-mutated apex predator he's got his muscled, furry, warm arms around your body and his teeth are closing in on your throat. Your gun is useless at that range and you can't think of anything else but the pounding of your heart in your chest.
  
  Okay, but what if...
  
  By the time you next see this magically-mutated apex predator he's got his muscled, furry, warm arms around your body and his teeth are closing in on your throat. Your gun is useless at that range and you can't think of anything else but the pounding of your heart in your chest.
  hot
  
  But instead of biting down hard enough to crush your jugular, he pauses. Tighens his grip. Exhales heavily. Licks your neck. Your nipples begin to harden. Its finally happening.
  
  I play a desert eagle to my mouth
  
  Am I supposed to.be scared or..?
  
  That can’t be legal. Where’s the ref?
- I can hear the parry sound effect
  
  Followed by
  swoosh swoosh swoosh splat splat splat
  then
  Uuuughhhhaa
  YOU DIED
- I hope you remember to pack silver bullets...
  
  You think you did, but it turns out the guy from the gun store is the werewolf. He laughs and says "Thanks Gary Larson!"
  
  Oh, I'm sure at least one of us will be packing
- Just bring a lawyer. No bloodshed.

I got that dawg in me UwU

• Against a robot

38 comments