A very good journalist

[off topic] There was a comic where someone slips Clark Kent information about an illegal plant dumping chemicals. He shows up as Superman and stops the crime, but the whistleblower is angry that Kent informed Superman instead of digging up the names of the real owners.

This is off topic, what does that scrawny journalist Clark Kent have to do with Superman?
- Scrawny? Looks a bit overweight if you ask me.
Conversely, there have been quite a few stories where Clark basically decides Superman would be inefficient at actually solving the issue, so he either busts out the handy dandy notebook and takes them down with his pen, or he calls in the big guns and tips off Lois (because the only thing more satisfying than smashing a corrupt asshole's things is siccing your Pulitzer winning wife on them).
He's a very good reporter. Got a real nose for a story, like he can see through walls or hear conversations behind closed doors or something. It's weird.
- I think that George Reeves had the best Clark Kent. Most other versions play Clark for laughs. Reeves played him as a day-to-day reporter, easy going but not a chump.
- I think folks don't appreciate how the DC big characters actually work outside of their superheroics to fight the badguys.
  The other example is Batman, People watch the Nolan movies and don't realize that 99% of the time Batman is doing detective work following up on leads from other super detectives, including Clark, or putting his vast wealth to work trying to uproot the poverty and corruption in Gotham without getting killed by the entrenched interests making use of that poverty and corruption.
  His supporting cast is literally just him being the world's most over the top big brother program member, save entirely other lead superheros, everyone in Batman's belfry is some degree of rescue case from the streets or an abusive past life.

The CIA being completely fooled by the pair of glasses would be a pretty good take for a show series.

Don Adams was born too early

Make it a movie or series and I'll watch it. Only problem Henry Cavil isn't good in comedies

He might still fit because you would think clark Kent’s humour would be very dry and mostly rely on timing. The contrast would be great having the silliness come from the CIA characters who could be extremely animated and frustrated. I can only imagine the scenes about the CIA agents trying to explain to their boss why they keep failing
- Yeah he could be a good straight man.
- 23 Jump Street
  It absolutely would work.
- Directed by the Coen Brothers
- Yeah Jim Carrey would be a CIA agent here not Clark Kent.
- I'm picturing something like Lilo and Stitch lol
The man from uncle was great as he just played a straight face man and the comedic stuff happened around him
- Yeah comedy doesn't need to be about acting funny. Put Jim Carey in the same role and it's a flop (that the reviews would call being carried by Jim, eh).
Wasn't Justice League a comedy? I thought it was pretty funny.
It might with Superman being completely oblivious that they're trying to kill him so he's just playing it straight. The CIA would be poisoning him and stuff and Superman would just not even notice.
It's funnier if he plays the role completely straight anyway.
Jon Hamm is though

Hell the CIA had enough trouble trying to kill Castro, exploding cigars etc, etc etc, that this would almost write itself. And since they were so bad at killing a normal human I doubt they would ever get suspicious that Clarke manages to avoid every trap they set for him.

Alternate take. Castro was an alien...

You make the wrong assumptions there. The truth behind why we hear about laughable attempts for Castro and not much more isn't that this is how the CIA rolls. It could also be that this is one of the few times they failed at all.
Issue there is that they couldn't try to kill him directly. Always had to be by proxy.
With Che they learned from all the Castro attempts and just straight up tortured him to death
- Huh? Che was captured and executed by Bolivians.
- But Che was executed by the Bolivian army before the CIA could interrogate him? They didn't get a chance to torture him.

One scene could be where they're in the office and the facial recognition software keeps trying to identify Clark Kent as Superman, but they just can't believe it, and one guy says "That's not Superman just look at him. This guy wears glasses!".

Edit: In case anyone out there reading this is actually from the CIA, we're just kidding guys/gals, we believe in you.

this genuinely sounds like it could be a plot line on the Harley Quinn series

Seeing Christopher Reeve as Clark Kent reminds me how good he was and how I miss him.

I love Cavill but sorry he failed his acting of CK. With or without the costume he plays as Superman.

Best superman line I've seen is from the CW version.
"Hey! Nice suit!"
"Thanks, my mom made it for me!"
- Superman and Lois is so underrated. The stigma around the CW DC shows is well earned, but it really doesn't deserve to be grouped in with them. In fact it made a point of distancing itself from them by explicitly stating it's not part of the Arrowverse.
  There's a lot going on in that show really doesn't get the credit it deserves. Particularly watching Clark Kent be a father is aces.
This scene always comes to mind when I think of Reeve's performance: https://youtube.com/watch?v=tNUu6Lf9mVU
- This scene always comes to mind when I think of Reeve’s performance
  For me its the "General, care to step outside?" scene (and Zod's reply line).
  That, any scene with his unique smile.
Still better than Brandon Routhe. Sorry Brandon, I'm sure you're a nice guy, but your Superman sucked
- Nah, Brandon Routhe was fine, it's just his Superman is written incredibly passive, and he was more or less being told "You're Christopher Reeves Superman so...do that. We're not going to give you any material that comes close to what Chris got to work with, but, ya know, still do it. "
  It's just such a bizarrely written movie in the first place, I have trouble blaming anyone in it for their performances. Well... except for that one guy we don't talk about anymore.
That's a really good point. I didn't notice until you said it, but yeah, he plays Kent and Superman exactly the same.
- but yeah, he plays Kent and Superman exactly the same.
  Well it was a more serious movie, for a more serious time, than the original Superman movie, so to expect that kind of goofy Clark Kent type of acting wouldn't be realistic.
I don't see the issue with him playing both characters the same. That's as valid an interpretation as any, and much more in line with modern Superman.
The idea of Clark as a bumbling mild-mannered reporter as part of his disguise is very dated.
- Eh, Christopher Reeves switching between demeanors as Superman and Clark Kent is timeless.
I love Cavill but sorry he failed his acting of CK.
How did he fail? Honestly asking.
- The stache

This is the first pitch on Reddit or Lemmy in 12 years that is actually good and doable and interesting. Make Lex Luthor one of the assassins in his early days... Yada yada yada

YES. DC COMICS, HIRE THIS MAN. I WANT THIS SO BAD NOW.

Only problem is they wouldn't be surprised their attempts failed. Nearly everything the CIA touches goes wrong.

Nearly everything the CIA touches goes wrong.
To be fair, if they're doing their job right, we will never hear of it.
They might be surprised when they slip 50x the lethal dose of a toxic only they know about into his food and he doesn't even notice.
- Turns out due to poor inventory management, it expired in 1967 and has degraded to a non-toxic state

I would watch that over Wandavision

I liked Wandavision :(
- I don't like any Marvel stuff but Wandavision was pretty good, until they Marvelled all over it in the last few episodes.
- Wandavision was one of the last things Marvel has put out that I honestly enjoyed. It's been much more rough since (with a couple exclusions, but yeah, downhill trend for me mostly)
- No shade. I havent seen it. Might be awesome
But Wandavision was great!

I'm kinda wondering if this would actually work with the audience who knows Superman's lore. It'd be like watching an episode of Blues Clues. "Gee, I can't seem to figure out why those nineteen whole bullets that absolutely hit him square in the chest didn't even slightly kill the guy." "HE'S SUPERMAN YOU CONSUMMATE DINK!"

All of the assassination attempts would need to involve less overt methods. Poisoning, pushing from tall buildings, etc. Most likely they'd need to outsource the jobs to mercenaries, since the CIA agents would figure it out immediately.
Edit: I wonder if my response just landed me on some list. Ugh...
- Edit: I wonder if my response just landed me on some list. Ugh…
  Honestly, there's times I wonder if all of us who just post on Lemmy would be on some list.

Ryan Reynolds as Clark Kent, Hugh Laurie and Keanu Reeves as the CIA leads

Oh man can Laurie be a conspiracy-minded agent like Moulder?
Ooh and Keanu keeps on downplaying or disproving his theories. And then eventually Laurie is right and Keanu is like “Whoa”.
Shit writes itself.
I initially misread as "Hugh Laurie as Keanu Reeves" and it seemed fine.

Lead CIA agent maxwell smart

Missed him by that much!

And they could give it the title "The Death of Clark Kent"

I wouldn't be surprised if there is already a comic arc out there about the government or someone trying to assassinate Clark

There's a scene where the joker is about to smash his head with a malley and he pauses to think how he could make it look realistic.
- What do you mean by make it look realistic?

The spies from Spy Vs Spy as the agents.

I mean MAwS is basically this from the other direction, Task Force X is assembled with the intention of tracking kryptonians specifically, and Clark gets sucked into that without them knowing he even has a secret identity they could use to figure his deal out.

Also they made Desthstroke a Manhwa pretty boy.

MAwS
"I'll take 'Translations/Clarifications' for $100, Alex."
- My Adventures with Superman

Just trying to make a point

I hate superhero stories, but I would watch the shit out of this.

This is where the message isn’t getting through. Comics are a medium, they could be used to tell any stories.
Captain America: The Winter Solider was a pretty decent espionage thriller. Until the end where it turned into a giant CGI fight.
Shang Chi was a pretty decent martial arts film. Until the end where it turned into a giant CGI fight.
So this would probably be a pretty decent slapstick comedy. But under current management, I guarantee the end would turn into a giant CGI fight.

Metropolis is in the United States & Clark Kent is a US citizen, therefore the CIA cannot touch him. They just informally encourage the FBI to keep an eye on him.